He's Coming
by CaptainSkitzoVamp
Summary: Eve and Ivy are normal-ish...well they are strange. But that's why they are chosen. To bad they had to end up in a fictional world for that to happen Co-written with Sweeney.Sparrow.Joker.Love R R!No flames!
1. Ivy and Eve

**Okay guys here is a new story! I have decided to take a break from my twilight story and I am now all about the Batman movies. I always loved them but it is only lately that I was inspired to do fiction on them! So I have decided to co-write a story with my inspirator!So thank you inspirator you rock!**

**Don't judge cause this is my first -**

**Oh never mind here you go:)**

Eve Harper woke up to another day in the green yet cloudy land of Ireland. She had originally set her alarm clock for 7:30am to cram some study time that she had dismissed yesterday but had just turned off her alarm and went back to sleep. She regretted it now because she was supposed to be up at 8am and it was now 8:20am and she was LATE!

She quickly dashed out of bed and changed her clothes as if her house was on fire and ran down stairs to the kitchen, grabbing her IPod on the way. She picked up a cereal bar, her keys and her school bag and ran out the door.

Her school was close by so she didn't find the need to run up the hill. Besides it was a hill and she was tired which in other words meant that she just couldn't be bothered.

Ten minutes later she was crossing the threshold of the student entrance. The school was a small red-brick building with a cloister in the middle of it that the students were not allowed to wonder into, except for the teachers that were too lazy to walk the full way around.

Eve walked over to her locker to get her books since she had double Business first thing followed by History.

_Why do these subjects have to have the heavy books?_

The next three classes finally ended and she was walking back to her locker to get more books. She fumbled with her keys when she felt a presence behind her.  
"Hey" she said after noticing that it was only her locker buddy Brendan. They weren't exactly locker buddies; he just had the locker underneath hers since she was lucky enough to snag one of the top ones when school began. But today she was going to be emptying it and she only hoped that this years "Locker Luck" would stay with her for next year.

"Last day" the boy beside her stated.

"Yeah" she responded trying to be polite.

"Do you have plans?"

"Yeah I was thinking of a vacation"

"Cool. Where?"

"Erm... I would love to see the city" she replied.

The auburn boy nodded when she made this statement. He wasn't too skinny but he wasn't too muscular either, he was just right. He had green eyes that Eve always found annoying when he was trying to squirm information out of her. Which was HER technique. She couldn't help but laugh a little at this thought.

"What" he asked honestly taken aback from this sudden burst of laughter. Then again this was Eve he thought, she laughed at the most random of times.  
Eve on the other hand wanted to avoid this gaze and quickly responded.

"Just thinking of how you like to steal my techniques of making people squirm" she said with a sickly sweet voice.  
Brendan just rolled his eyes and stuffed his books into his bag.  
"So what will you be up to?" asked Eve, trying to make small talk.  
"I am going to my Uncle in Finland" he replied faking modesty.  
"You have relatives over there?"

"Yup"

He nodded excitedly at this.

"Come on" Eve said and pushed him in the direction of the door. They both laughed as they headed towards their next class at nothing in particular.

The next few classes were spent making the teachers angry. Mostly these methods consisted of the classic paper ball throwing but others were last minute ideas that had everyone laughing until they cried. Cars were covered in fake tattoos, Walls were drawn on, and teachers were "accidentally" hit in the head with footballs.

At the end of the day Brendan and Eve both cleaned out their lockers together.

"Well I guess this is it" remarked Brendan.

"Yeah" replied Eve in a small voice.

"Well see ya" said Brendan before he walked out and left Eve standing by herself in the empty room.  
"See ya" she replied to thin air.

What was she going to do now? School was over and the only social life that she had was on a computer or with people who didn't exist because they were either characters from TV a book or even from her head that only existed in her documents folder on her laptop.

Finally school was out for the summer and freedom was on the horizon but while everyone had plans Eve didn't have any. She spent the walk home thinking about all of the funny things that had happened this year and what next year would be like for her too.

As soon as she reached home she dashed up stairs to change her clothes. She threw on a purple and gray top and black skinny jeans with a pair of runners. While walking over to the mirror she wondered how she had hidden her bright neon multicolored socks from the eyes of the teachers since they were strictly against school policy.

She looked into the mirror to see her green eyes staring back at her. Her brown hair was a little greasy from the sun that was endlessly shining that day but it also made her hair look straighter since she thought that her thick hair was a curse since it would never sit down like she wanted it to. Eve picked up her concealer and began to rub it onto her face. She was in a dress-up mood today and she couldn't exactly live without her eyeliner anyway.

_Oh what the hell_

She decided to just go all out and threw on her favorite purple eye shadow that made her eyes stand out and brighten up.

_Now what?_

She had just rushed upstairs and put on make up as if she was rushing out again like any normal teenage girl but she had nothing to do. As soon as she realized this she walked back to her room and flopped down onto her bed, picked up her laptop and turned it on.

While it was loading she couldn't help but scold herself. Why didn't she try to be popular or normal? Was there such thing as normal? Why did she lead such a boring life? She wished her life would just turn upside-down so she could at least get a kick out of something different.

At that moment the laptop had fully loaded and was ready to be used.

And so Eve spent the rest of the day checking her email, writing and reading fan fiction while listening to music in the background which was the usual for her.

She loved writing. It was her escape from reality and a place where she could write down her daydreams of movie or book characters and then would later on be rewarded by people from all over telling her what they thought of her work. Her stories were her children, they were apart of her. Not all people spoke about her stories in a good way. Some people would send her messages saying horrible things but it never stopped her from doing what she loved and since she wasn't afraid of these people she would reply ,if they obviously meant to offend her, and tell them what she thought. At times like these she would use very colorful language and most of the time these mean people never had a story posted on their pages so she would call them cowards and they would never insult her again.

Her parents never exactly approved of her being on the computer so much but they way they saw it, she could have been doing a lot worse. One of her friends just said that she preferred cyber-space to meat-space. Which in her opinion was probably true.

Hours passed but she didn't notice and as the sun disappeared and the moon rose, causing darkness to enter her room, she didn't notice either.

The only time she left her room was for bathroom breaks and food.

She was now sitting by her desk facing the wall beside her window which over looked the many houses surrounding her own.

Little children were inside their homes at this time of night instead of playing on the streets which made the streets eerily quiet. Eve suddenly found herself day-dreaming again but this time of someone just coming to take her away. Or was this night-dreaming? But she was awake so what was it that she was doing now?

_You're just acting weird as usual_

She decided to take a nap and turned off the computer. She folded it down and walked over to her bed. She didn't care that she was still in her day clothes or that her make-up was still on so she just flopped down onto the mattress and closed her eyes.

And as a result of this Eve was out like a light in no time.

Eve dreamed of lots of things that night: Killing people after they broke her beloved IPod, people randomly yelling at her and of course Charlie the Unicorn but nothing compared to the last dream that she had.

~~~Eve's Dream~~

She was standing in the middle of her room but she felt as if she should be running.

_Not another Freddy dream_

She scolded herself for watching too many horror movies but when she dreamed of them she never really got scared or screamed in her sleep. She remembered the time that she had locked herself out of the house at 3am while sleepwalking. That had nothing to do with movies yet something had set her off. She just didn't know what but this hadn't been the only time that an incident like that had happened. The other time that it had happened she had woken up to find her being shaken awake after she had been repeatedly hitting her dresser in her sleep _and screaming, I think._

But she had remembered the dream that she had had that night. She had been trapped in the dark and there was someone else their but they wouldn't help and she had been hitting the wall while trying to look for a light switch.

But this dream was like nothing that she had seen before.

This time she was in her room but danger was thick in the air. There were people shouting downstairs and she could hear glass being smashed and wood being cracked. Screaming could also be heard but it was never heard by the same person twice and even though Eve knew that this was a dream she still debated whether or not to go down stairs but ended up going downstairs anyway. She tip-toed down stairs very quietly and noticed that the door was open a crack but when she went to take a peak there was nothing out of place in the living-room. It was empty and looked as if nothing had happened; there wasn't even a corpse on the floor dripping blood. Everything was the same and…normal.

Curiosity took the better of her and she went to the kitchen through the double doors in the living-room but again there was nothing to see. The loneliness was beginning to scare her and she was also starting to worry about where everyone was even though she knew that they were in reality, her world, so why did she care so much?  
She heard the sound of glass smashing behind her and quickly turned around to see a broken piece of ornamental glass lying on the floor. The shards of glass lay scattered on the floor. And Eve could faintly hear laughing coming at her from all directions. Now she was scared and she liked to consider herself the "Don't Get Scared From Movies But Jump When The Toaster Pops" kinda gal.

She couldn't help but laugh herself at this thought but as soon as her laugh mingled with the other one it stopped. But it was replaced by a dark shape in the corner. The figure was hunched over and it looked as if it was wearing a big trench coat.

"Coming" said a whisper from behind her. She wanted to turn around and see the speaker but she couldn't move. She was glued to the floor and besides even if she did turn around no one would probably be there. All she could do was stare at this figure hidden in the dark.

She heard something flick and while the figure started to move towards her she noticed something shiny start to reflect from the moonlight which was streaming in from the windows. The reflection cast odd shapes and colors on the walls but none on the figure coming at her. She suddenly felt the urge to run but was instead woken up by a pain in her head.

She sat up in the semi-darkness rubbing the pain. She must of hit it off of the side of her bedside table when she was tossing. After all that was her family's name for her "tosser". She tried to remember what had happened in her dream._ Things were broken but I couldn't see..._

Her thoughts began to wonder. She noticed an annoying pain in her leg and looked down to see that she had fallen asleep with her IPod again! That was probably where she had thought up the knife from.

_Knife_

Then everything hit her. The noises. The laughing. The Knife. The Figure.

"Coming?" she asked aloud "What the hell is coming?"

Two thuds could be distinctly heard from next door hitting her wall which was the usual signal from her brother to shut up. Eve couldn't help herself from remembering when he used to be the one waking her up at the crack of dawn.

Well right now seemed to be a good time for her pay back and besides she couldn't get back to sleep so she jumped out of bed and walked over to her wardrobe. She picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and a red T-shirt stating her favorite band and a name of one of their songs in big black letters that took up three lines.

She looked at herself in the mirror and saw that her eyes were like a panda's. She walked to the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth as usual. She then proceeded to go back to her room and picked up concealer and a tube of liquid eyeliner and a pencil one too.

"What is it with you and eyeliner?" asked a voice from the doorway.

"Hello to you to Sis" replied Eve looking at the reflection of her blonde sibling while applying her make-up in the mirror.

"What do you want?"asked Eve starting to get impatient.

"I'm going out and Kevin is at his friends house"

"And where are you going" asked Eve, her maternal older sister side kicking in.

"Well I'm not a loner so I have a disco that I have to go to and Mam and Dad are going out too" stated the blonde with a dirty look and walked away.

"HAVE FUN TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A HOOKER!!" shouted out Eve to her sister. She was beginning to change and not in a good way. Eve knew it but she also knew that she couldn't stop it. She had tried everything, reading, art even chess! But her sister was becoming a nightmare. She was instead playing tonsil-tennis with a different guy every day and wearing outfits that made guys ask her "How much". This had all occurred to her when she had witnessed it first hand a while ago when she had asked her sister if she had wanted to go shopping and have some girly time.

Her sister had worn a REALLY short miniskirt and everyone ad stared.

No. She was not going to think about that because then she got angry at herself and today was the first day of summer and she was not going to ruin that for herself. Brendan was probably on a plane now so Eve did what she did best and turned on her labtop.

While it started up she picked out on of her new books and began to read where she had left off. It was another vampire one and its engrossed her until she heard the labtop sing its little theme tune for opening up. She signed into msn out of habit but didn't expect her friend Ivy online and ended up having a nice long chat her the next couple of hours with her friend.

**Well? Hate it or love it?? Over to you ....I bet will will write a better half than me:):)**

. A/N: Hello! Ladies and gentle-huns! Well this is my part of the co write. Enjoy ;D

"Who ever invented these should be made god or something." Ivy said with her mouth full of cookie. She looked over at her friend, Finn, he was eating his cookie with much more class.

"Agreed!" He said. Ivy leant back on her chair and looked around the empty shopping centre.

"It seems a bit less full than last time." She said.

"That's because our school is the only one that is having a day off and we should be 'revising'." Finn stated. "To bad there isn't any hot boys." Ivy smiled an nodded.

"Well at least I get a day away from that evil Bella." Ivy muttered. Bella was a girl at school that used to be best friends with Ivy until she got a boyfriend and started being a total bitch. To bad no one else saw it.

"I don't see why you hate, Bella." Finn laughed. Ivy stuck out her tongue, she couldn't be bothered explaining it all again. "Well I'm done lets go shopping." Finn said clapping his hands together and standing up.

"I'm not finished yet!" Ivy said.

"To bad, Poison Ivy." Finn said yanking Ivy up by her arm.

"I'm not a villain out of Batman!" Ivy said. "Even though I wish I was."

"Why would you want to be a bad guy?" Finn asked as he linked Ivy's arm and began to walk out of the shopping centre.

"I'd be on the Jokers side wouldn't I?" Ivy explained.

"I still need to watch that movie. I've only seen the animated series." Finn sighed.

"I agree, you do. The movie is all like BANG and "why so serious" and "lets put smile on that face" and boom and WAH!" Ivy said getting over excited.

"Calm down, people are starting to stare." Finn laughed patting her hand. Ivy winked at him and they went off to shop.

--2 hours later--

"We should get going now." Finn said as he walked over to Ivy who was running her finger over graphic novels. They were in Ivy's favourite shop. The comic book shop. Ivy nodded and pulled out a hardback book.

"£19.99." She muttered. Finn let out a low whistle. "I don't have that."

"Come on." Finn said taking the book out of her hands and putting it on the shelf.

"But....Batman." She moaned.

"Yes. But you already have 3 posters, one which you have no room for in your tiny little bedroom, all the DVD's, a painting of the Joker, one very impressive collage you brought from that book shop that time, the book about the actor, the badges, you read fan fictions about it all the time, you draw it all the time and you never shut up about it. Don't you think you're a bit....Batman-ed out." Finn said. Ivy loved him but he did act like an older brother sometimes more than a best friend.

"Never!" Ivy laughed. Once they got out it was pouring with rain.

"Good old English weather." Finn muttered sarcastically as he pulled his umbrella out of his bag. He linked Ivy's arm and she huddled up to him.

They walked in the direction of the train station. Doing that they had to pass the busker outside the music shop. He was quite good but this time he wasn't playing he was staring across the empty street.

"Hey mate, are you OK?" Finn called across the road. The man snapped his head up and smiled at them. "Come on Ivy." Finn muttered. They went to walk past him when he grabbed Ivy and pulled her away from Finn. She yelped in surprise.

"He's coming." The man said then he began to laugh wildly. "He's coming." Then Ivy felt Finn grab her arm and drag her into the train station.

"YOU FUCKING FREAK!" Finn yelled to the man. Finn never used swear words or the word freak. Ivy was shocked. "Are you OK?" He asked. Ivy nodded quickly.

"Lets just got home." She said. Finn gave her a quick hug and they went to the ticket turnstiles.

Ivy had to get off at the station after Finn. Then she had to walk home alone. She slammed the front door closed and shook the rain from her hair.

"I'm back!" She called.

"Nobody gives a shit!" One of Ivy's older brothers called from the front room.

"Shut up." She shouted back. He came out of the room with his highly make-upped girl friend. Ivy didn't like her. Her mother on the other hand loved her. When she talked about her and how brave she was with everything that was going on in her life. Ivy couldn't help but think her mother would rather have make-up girl as a daughter instead of her.

"Mums gone out." Ivy's brother said. "So's dad. And we're going out soon."

"OK." She muttered and ran to her room. She threw her satchel on the floor and collapsed on her bed. Her bed that had the legs taken off of it so it was on the floor. She looked around her room. Train tickets, cinema tickets, concert tickets, photographs of her with her friends and posters of fictional characters Ivy desperately wished were real plastered over her purple walls. Along with deep purple shelves full of books about exciting things Ivy often day dreamed about. Below that was a pile of DVD's. Films about dark things, films with Heath Ledger or Johnny Depp in or directed by Tim Burton. TV series she had collected lay at the bottom. Every episode of Doctor Who and every episode of Heroes (apart from the last one that came out because she was still saving up for that one.

Ivy took her green I-pod out of her bag and stuck it in its docking station and turned it up. She sang along quietly to the song that came on. She pulled her pink laptop out from under her pillow and decided to waste some time.

Ivy lay staring at her ceiling. It was past midnight and she couldn't sleep. She was in her pyjamas. Well, male pyjama bottoms, grey with over lapping black stars on, and an oversized t-shirt with a band she liked on, also a male clothing item.

"What's it with you and men's clothes." He mum had sighed once.

Ivy looked at her lava lamp. She was bored. The sort of bored that made you want to scream or cry. But Ivy was used to this. Her life was boring. She often day dreamed she was in a fictional scene and every one looked out for her and loved her. She scoffed to herself and pulled her laptop out.

'No ones going to be online. ' She thought. Her laptop took ages to start up but that was nothing unusual. She pulled it onto her lap and began clicking away.

'Available: 4' The writing at the top of the screen said. She sighed when she saw who those four people were. An old friend who moved to Australia a couple years ago, that girl who always left her IM on all the time, a boy she doesn't exactly know but got his email email address off of a friend once and the boy who looks like a tree and thinks its rock and roll to stay up all night.

"Great." Ivy whispered to herself. She plugged the head phones into her PC and tried listening to music but even the singers sounded tired.

She pulled the head phones out of the laptop and threw them against her wall in frustration.

She wasn't a very happy person when she was supposed to be asleep.

She sighed and sat on her bay windowsill. The dim orange street lights lit up the long gloomy street. Ivy loved the stars but tonight was too cloudy to see any so there was nothing the look at apart from the other semi detached houses.

That was until a white car came speeding down the road and screeched to a halt outside Ivy's house. The sound of men's shouting voices seeped through Ivy's windows. She saw her older brother stumble out of the car. Not the older brother with make-up girl as a girl friend. No. Her oldest older brother who was in a band and constantly drunk with his not-to-bad-looking friends.

Don't get too excited the bad wasn't very good. If anything it was just noise. That was Ivy's opinion anyway. She heard him open the front door and stumble in.

"Put them anywhere!" She heard her older brother slur. Then there was a loud noise of heavy instruments hitting the floor. Ivy winced at the noise.

"Stupid brother." She whispered to herself.

"We going down town?" Ivy heard one of her brothers friends slur. She recognised that voice as the voice of that-lad-who-recently-came-out-of-jail.

"Sure." Her brother said.

'That's fine leave me on my own.' Ivy thought sarcastically. Then the front door slammed and a horrible silence came over the house. Ivy sighed and looked back out of her window. There was absolutely no one around. It felt as if she owned the world.

"Well hello beautiful." The Jokers voice said. That signalled she had a text. Yes the Joker was her text tone. Pretty awesome in her opinion. She reached over to grab her phone.

'[1] New Message.' The screen read. She pressed read and read the message.

'He's coming.' The message read. First Ivy thought it was Finn but when she looked to see who it was from it was blank. No number, no name. She threw it across the room and it landed on the purple carpet. She glared at it as if it was going to jump up and attack her.

'Doo-da-doo' The noise that told Ivy she got a message on her laptop rang through the small room. Ivy glanced over at the screen.

'Eve says: Hello!' The little blue box in the corner said. Ivy almost fell off the windowsill. She smiled and typed 'HEY!' back.

Eve her friend from Ireland who was great.

She told Eve about the weird busker guy and the weird text message and Eve told Ivy she had a weird dream saying the exact same thing. Ivy was freaked out by that but she didn't let it show.

After a very long chat with Eve, Ivy head the bang of the front door hit the wall. She sighed expecting to hear one of her brothers slur something but instead she heard a voice she didn't recognise say something loudly and then some one shush him. Ivy gasped.

'Shit, brb.' She typed in the computer and sent to Eve. She stood up and walked to the door.. She needed a weapon. If those people where out to kill her she wasn't going to die without a fight. Bad thing her parents didn't trust her with anything that could harm another human being.

'Shoe?' She thought. 'No, if there's 50 huge men down there and I have a shoe, I'll look pathetic.'

So she made do without a weapon and crept out of her room.

'I don't want to die in my pyjamas.' She thought. 'I don't want to die at all.' She got to the top of the stairs and couldn't see any one. She looked over the banister and saw that the light in the kitchen was on. She took a deep breath and crept down the stairs. She got to the bottom steps and tripped over a pair of shoes that some one had thrown on the steps. She went crashing into her brothers instruments making a loud noise.

'Bugger.' She thought.

"There she is!" A voice called. Ivy opened one eye and saw four big men standing in the kitchen door way. "We've been waiting." The man who was talking was wearing a purple suit and Joker make-up. Ivy almost gasped at how good his Joker costume looked. His scars looked real and everything. She wanted to go into complete fan girl mode over this guy who was dressed up as the Joker but then she remembered they had broke into her house.

"Oh god, you're a couple of my brothers friends aren't you? You can't just walk right in here with out knocking. Is there a costume party or something? He's already gone if you're waiting for him." The man dressed up as the Joker took a step closer and Ivy's hand grabbed a drum stick that was lying next to her. She sat up quickly.

"We're here_ for you._" The man said. Ivy stood up and pointed the drum stick at him.

"You freak!" She shouted. She still thought these men were her brothers friends. "Are you high or something? Go home!" The man dressed up as the Joker seemed pretty pissed off by this so Ivy ran up the stairs as fast as she could. She remembered hearing that you can't kill a burglar downstairs because there's more chance of you escaping but if you're upstairs then you can kill him. OK so she didn't know whether that was true but it was worth a try. She got to the top of the stairs and ran into the bathroom because it was the only one with a lock on.

"I'll get her. You get her stuff." The man said in an impressive Joker voice. Ivy was breathing so hard now. Her heart felt as if it was beating in her neck. She leapt onto the toilet and positioned the drum stick over her head ready to strike who ever came in after her. She saw the door handle move. She had to stop herself from crying. She was so scared. Then she heard the bang of some one trying to kick the door down.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

BOOM! Ivy jumped at the noise as the door fell down. The man stepped in the room and Ivy slammed the drum stick down on his head. The person stumbled and while he was momentarily shocked Ivy ran out of the room and down the stairs again. She heard the guy laughing from behind her.

She had to admit this guy did a great Joker impression and he was staying in character. Ivy was down the stairs now. She tried to open the front door but for some reason it wouldn't open. She let out a scream of frustration and gave the door a kick. Which hurt seeing as she was bare foot.

"Some one has anger issues." The man said. She screamed and spun around. He was at the bottom of the stairs. Ivy tried to run past him and towards the back door put he grabbed her around the waist.

"Get off me!" She screamed.

"Nope." The man said popping his 'p'.

"Please." She begged.

"You should really go to sleep." The man growled.

"What?!" Ivy asked. He was making no sense. The he grabbed the back of Ivy's head and slammed it against the wall, hard. She grabbed her head. The man had let go of her. She spun around and saw the man staring down at her. He was very tall. She looked up at him and then she felt dizzy. She felt her eyes close and she fell against the man who caught her in his arms.

"Night, night." He chuckled.

A/N: Team Ivy or Team Eve?

**x**


	2. You Touch 'Em!

**S-V:Second chapter! Thank you for the reviews and we hope that you will review again. Remember reviews are love....and they are also the energiser bunny for story writing;)**

Eve talked to her friend Ivy for hours on msn. She had been going through some strange things too. First a busker on the street had stopped her and told her that "He's coming" and then she had received a text saying the same thing.  
At around 2am Ivy had said that she would be right back and it sounded urgent.  
Eve went over to her book shelf and picked up one of her latest purchases. It was a new book in one of her favorite vampire series. She flicked around and started to read for a few minutes. After a short while she looked down and saw that Ivy was after signing offline, it was probably the computer going onto automatic shut down. Eve resumed her reading but an hour after Ivy had mysteriously logged off, Eve heard a noise coming from downstairs. She closed her book and dumped it onto her desk.  
The brown haired girl slowly walked out of the comfort of her room and out into the dark and frightening upstairs hallway. It couldn't have been her parents or her brother or sister since they were gone. She was alone. And there was probably a burglar downstairs.  
Eve gave an inward shriek and took a peak over the upstairs wooden railing to see who was downstairs. There were a couple of silhouettes downstairs by the door. The streetlight lamppost's light was shining in through the hallway and Eve could faintly see the outlines of four figures.  
She quickly stepped back and leaned against the wall. Her breathing was becoming fast and jagged now and she rolled her eyes to heaven. , praying that if someone was up there, spare her.  
She took another peak and saw that only two men remained in the hallway when all of a sudden a voice shouted "There she is boss!"

The shadowed figures looked up and saw the frightened teenager and before Eve could even comprehend what was going on the two men were running up the stairs. Eve quickly dashed into the nearest room away from the strangers. Her brothers room.  
She ran into her younger siblings green bedroom and cursed her parents for being against their children having locks on their doors.  
"Come here Doll-face I promise no one will hurt you" called a gruff voice "And I'm a man of my wor**d**"he said putting full emphasis on the "d".  
Eve threw herself onto the floor and rolled under the bed. She could hear the men walking into her room from next door since the walls were thin enough to hear your brother blaring his TV in the morning or arguments.  
The frightened girl hugged her knee's and buried her head into them. She tried to get her breathing even. Who were these men? Why did they want her?  
She was shaking back and forth until this thought came to her. She froze and then resumed rocking but this time even faster until the door burst open as if someone had just kicked it. She saw a pair of feet walking around and then felt the bed that she was hiding under sink.  
Eve put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from making any noise. She quickly got out from under the bed and stood up as fast as she could and ran out of the room leaving the shouts of the man who had been kneeling on the bed. She was just turning a corner when a hand shot out and shocked her.  
Literally shocked her.  
She fell to the ground,no longer able to control her muscles. Eve looked up to see her attacker face to face but only saw the dark shadowed outline again. She made a mental note to turn lights on from now on even if she wasn't in the room.  
The person standing over her picked her up and threw her limp body over his shoulder. Eve was certain that it was a guy, unless a woman could be that built up,have the ability to carry her like a sack of coal and wear a man's cologne.  
Well the last one was probably possible, women just didn't do that.  
She was carried downstairs but could only see the stairs themselves as she could only see what was behind the man that was carrying her. As soon as they had reached the end of the stairs Eve noticed a man coming down too. He was carrying bags.  
_Oh my God are they robbing the place? Am I a hostage?  
_Eve was plagued with these thoughts until she was taken outside and thrown into a van.  
All of this kidnapping was making her tired and her mind didn't see a problem with sleep.  
_Oh what the hell I'm probably going to be beaten or killed anyway_ thought Eve and she closed her eyes (which was the only part of her body that she could control).  
_Besides tomorrow is probably going to be a big day anyway._

–__

Eve woke with a start.  
Her muscles ached with stiffness. She tried to think over what had happened but only came up with a crazy dream about some guy that tazered her. Eve laughed at this thought _Me and my imagination_. But it was then that she looked around. The walls were bare and 'icky' in Eve's opinion. The room was empty apart from the wooden bed which she was lying on with purple covers. Eve had to smile at how her kidnapper had let her sleep in her favorite color. _Maybe he won't be so bad_  
She threw her legs over the side of the bed and remained standing there for a while so she could regain her balance. Eve looked around. The room was bigger than her old one and the bareness of the walls gave her a strange impulse to write on them. There was also a door that Eve guessed was a closet door so she went over to investigate. _It could be a walk in wardrobe. If it is then Stockholm Syndrome here I come_ Eve laughed at her thought and opened up the mystery door.  
It was a walk in wardrobe and it was filled with her clothes on one side and other clothes that she had never seen before in her life on the other. She was starting to eye one of the new items of clothing when she noticed that there were shelves filled with her shoes and her make-up (which kinda irked her) on her side of the room. _Funny_ Her side of the room. That was when she noticed the other door.  
She stared at the door cautiously for a few minutes until she gave into her curiosity and went to open "Mystery door number 2".  
She turned the handle and peered inside. It was the same room as the one she had woken up in, except the bed in this room had green bed covers._ My favorite colors. And_ there was a lump underneath the covers. Wait. _A lump under the blanket?_  
Eve was on the verge of hyperventilating but went to stand next to the bed anyway.  
She didn't know what she expected to find. Her kidnapper maybe? But instead she found a red haired girl around her age fast asleep. _Alright that's it_ Eve thought angrily and tried to shake the girl awake. It didn't seem to work and this pissed off Eve even more. The poor girl just couldn't take it anymore and let out a scream so loud that it would put a Banshee to shame.  
This time it worked (even though Eve hadn't intended for it to work since she only screamed because he was frustrated).  
The red haired girl shot up out of bed in a flash and stared at the brunette. She looked ready to kill. _Who the hell is this chick?_ Thoughts began to swarm round in Eve's brain which prevented her from hearing the first thing that the mystery girl had said.

"What the hell? Who the fuck are you?" she screamed.  
"Me? Who are you?" shot back Eve bemused.  
"Fuck sake you can't just prance in here and wake people up!" screeched the anonymous girl.  
"Alright Mr Grumpy Face"  
"That's right don't even apologize!"  
"Well sorry" when people got pissed Eve would usually pick up on it very easily.  
Red-Haired Chick was starting to get pissed. Firstly she was woken up and rudely at that, Secondly she was woken up by a stranger in a strange place and Thirdly her "Waker-Upper" didn't even mean it when she said sorry. That was it. It was the last straw.  
Before Eve could even comprehend what was happening Red Chick had jumped her and pinned her to the ground. She began to claw at Eve's face until Eve rolled over and pinned down her opponent but instead of clawing she slapped. Then again Eve didn't have any nails to speak of, since she had a very bad habit of biting them. But she loved to slap and she had enough experience from her brother to the perverts at school.  
Red Chick kicked Eve in the stomach and both of them started fist fighting with each other while trying to stand up and pin the other down. It obviously wasn't successful and before the fight could escalate any more a loud bang could be head from the doorway.  
Both girls momentarily paused in their floor combat and stared at the man in the doorway. He was wearing a purple suit and had green hair but that was just the tip of the iceberg. He had a scar running from each end of his mouth that went up which formed a smiley face. But this was covered yet exposed since he was wearing white grease paint on his face, red grease paint on his scars, to obviously make them stand out and black paint around the eyes. He looked like the freaking Joker. Eve also noticed how he kinda stooped like in her dream. _Dream_  
"Wha**t** is....uh..going on he**re**" asked the guy that was dressed as the Joker. He looked halfway between pissed off and amused.  
Then again there were two girls sprawled on the floor in front of him in mid fight.  
"Oh great it's the drunk guy that thinks he's the Joker" muttered the red haired girl "Gotta admit though, he sure as hell can stay in character"  
"You watch the Dark Knight?" asked Eve who was getting easily side tracked, she had only woken up the girl to get some information after all, not to fight.  
"Of course...you too?" the mystery teen responded starting to perk up, she looked up at their captor and randomly said "Those scars look so real"  
"I know!.....I wanna touch 'em" agreed Eve.  
The two girls gave the green haired man a look, like hungry lions about to pounce on their prey. And pounce was right because the next thing that Eve knew, she had jumped her captor, with the help of her new "Batman Buddy" and was pinning him onto the ground. Neither girl had the guts to test out the scars so both girls just stared at the man that they were holding down. The man stared back and the next few minutes were just spent with two girls pinning a fully grown man to the ground and all three people just looking at each other.  
"You do it" said Red.  
"No you" retorted Eve.  
"No you"  
"No you"

"No you"  
"You're the one that attacked me"  
"You're the one that woke me up"  
"You're the one that's been jumping everyone today"  
"Well you said you wanted to check 'em out"  
"FINE!" Eve said, she wasn't in the mood for a verbal fight right now and she was curious.  
The girls seemed to have forgotten of the "Joker Guy's" presence from beneath them and Eve stretched out her hand ready to see if the scars were really genuine. She was just about to touch them when Red leaped on her and screamed which caused Eve to jump and scream herself.  
Ivy fell onto the ground for the second time that day and burst out laughing. Eve was also after falling over and was in plain shock

"What the fuck was that?" she screeched, but was only answered with a mad cackle of laughter. Eve watched the red haired girl roll over in her fit of giggles and couldn't help but smile and laugh herself. They laughed for what seemed like hours until a third laugh joined in. And they recognized this one but refused to believe it.  
Their kidnapper was standing up and looking down at the two mad teenage girls.  
"You two...uh...migh**t** … be fun to have aroun**d**....but never pull a stunt like that again" he said. Eve was amazed that someone could start a sentence off so happy and end it so dark and cruelly. And with that he left the two girls in the room alone.  
"Ha...and when I woke up this morning I thought that my kidnapper might not be that bad....turns out that he thinks he is the Joker" said Eve mostly to herself.  
"I like him" randomly pointed out the stranger that had just attacked Eve not minutes before.  
"Me too...it's just that...things like this don't happen everyday." Eve replied.  
"Well at least we know what NOT to do" said Red who was still lying on the floor and now staring at the ceiling, just like Eve.  
"And what would that be?" asked Eve out of automatic politeness.  
"Don't be serious"  
And with that sentence the girls were off in "Laughing Land" again. When the giggles finally died down Eve just said, "I'm Eve"  
"Haha I have a friend called Eve she is from Ireland sh-", stranger girl was cut off mid sentence and sat up, "Eve?As in Eve Harper?" she asked starting to get excited.  
"Ivy?" asked Eve who was starting to finally recognize the girl in front of her.  
"YES! Oh my God!" Ivy said starting to get jumpy with happiness.  
"How did you end up here?" asked Eve.  
"Long story" Ivy replied.  
"Well I'm pretty sure that we have all day" Eve said.  
"Well...I was in my room and I couldn't go to sleep so I talked to you remember?...we were talking about that hot guy in that movie that none of us could think up the name of?...well I heard a noise downstairs so I told you that I would be right back-"

"But you didn't and instead attacked me in a ...room" Eve interrupted trying to come up with a name for their surroundings  
"Yeah sorry about that...anyway I went to go downstairs cause I thought that there were burglars in the house but it turned out that it was that Joker guy and then-"  
"Did he tazer you?" interrupted Eve again.  
"Jeez will you let me finish?"

"Sorry"

"It's okay...anyway he got my head and whacked it off of the wall ...which is not a nice experience by the way and then I blacked out and woke up here....or was woken up" Ivy sent a dirty look at Eve.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that it was you! But I know now so hopefully I won't be making the same mistake twice"

"What you mean 'hopefully'?" asked Ivy wearily.  
"Well we ARE in a strange place and we ARE hostages by a guy that thinks that he IS the Joker" pointed out Eve obviously.  
"Good point" agreed Ivy.  
"So" said Eve, looking around the room,"Where do you think we are?"  
"Gotham probably" snorted Ivy.  
At that moment there was a loud bang at the door again and in walked a red and black figure.

**Love it? Hate it? Review! And you will get cyber pizza!**


	3. Your Boldness Is Another Thing

**New chapter, sorry for the wait but we only got 3 reviews. Anywho it is here now and you guys better review!We have other stories too but the story that gets the most reviews is most likely the one that would be a top priority. Tips for the storyline is useful too.! What ever here you go...enjoy!**

The former Harleen Quinzel was standing in the doorway. She was dressed head to toe in her usual black and red outfit.  
This was Harley Quinn.

"Aw look at them!" she squealed to herself. Ivy and Eve covered their ears in pain.  
"So cute!" gushed the villianess as she ran over to Eve and began to pinch her cheeks like a grandmother.  
Eve was getting worried now. She had always loved the Joker and his psychoticiness but this chick was really weird.

The female clown was now moving to Ivy. She reached her hand out, about to pinch her cheek but Ivy quickly reached out and bit Harley who yelped out in pain. She began to cry and get panicky when Ivy kept biting but she eventually pulled away and stared at her finger in shock.  
It was covered in blood and looked as if it needed stitches.  
With a sob Harley turned around and left the room shouting "Mistah J!"

"Uh oh!" squeaked Eve before she grabbed Ivy by the forearm and began to drag her out into the hall. She took them corridor after corridor and eventually began to search for open doors.

Locked  
Locked  
Locked  
Open!  
She turned the door knob and yanked Ivy inside before entering the room herself and closing the door shut behind them. "We are so not gonna survive here" panted Eve.  
She looked over to Ivy expecting a response but Ivy was looking away somewhere else. Eve followed her gaze and spotted the numerous amount of paint cans.  
The two girls looked at each other in unison, and smiled.  
This was gonna be fun.  
They didn't need to speak. They knew what they were going to do. And with all thoughts of the harlequin and the Joker gone from their minds they began to pick up paint can after paint can and carry them back to their rooms along with some sheets and paint brushes of all sizes.  
They began by putting their blankets in their closet so that nothing would happen to them and then covered the beds and the floors with the painting sheets.

Eve rolled up her sleeves and opened up her paint cans before pulling out the different paint brushes. She picked up the small brush and dipped it into the black paint. She had always been a good painter. And off she went.

Ivy stood in her room, surrounded by pots of paint of all colors. She looked around until she finally decided what she would do. If she was going to stay here ( and she had a feeling that that would be for a long time) she was going to make her room represent herself.

_I bet the Joker wannabe's room is covered in purple and green with odd bits of black, white and red_

Just before Ivy picked up her first pot she heard music coming from Eve's room and went to check it out.  
Eve was sitting cross-legged facing the wall and looking as if she were concentrating very hard on something. Ivy made a noise in her throat to make sure that she didn't scare Eve or cause her to make a mistake.  
Eve stopped what she was doing and turned around.  
"How did you get that?" asked Ivy making a gesture to the IPod and docking station sitting by the door to their closet.  
"Found it" replied Eve as if it were nothing and continuing with her work.  
"Where?"  
"In the closet, there was a trunk on my side of the room and it was filled with my things"  
"Oh okay" said Ivy before turning back into her room, not even glancing at what her friend was painting.  
Ivy retreated back into her room and picked up where she left off. She picked up the orange paint pot and flung its contents all over her walls until it was empty. Next she picked up the purple pot and did the same and kept repeating this cycle with the rest of the pots.  
When she finished ,a good hour, later she looked around and frowned. The colors ran into each other and she wanted it to be more colorful. It was hard for her to explain but she just knew that something was missing.  
"Wow" said a voice in utter disbelief by the closet doorway behind her. Ivy turned around and saw Eve rubbing her hands with an old cloth. "That looks like fun" she commented.  
"But it's not the way I wanted it" replied Ivy.  
Eve put a pensive look on her face and squinted eyes looking at the wall in front of her.  
"I know, be write back" she said quickly before dashing out of the room and leaving Ivy to gaze after her.  
Eve was back in a matter of seconds holding two long rectangular boxes and a normal square one.  
"What are they?" asked Ivy with a slightly skeptical tone in her voice.  
"Guns" replied Eve nonchalantly.  
"Huh?"  
"Don't worry there just-" Eve didn't finish her sentence because she opened the box and pulled out the gun,swinging it around to aim at Ivy who shrieked and ran in to the closet.  
"Paint ball guns" Eve finished.  
"Are you gonna shoot me?" asked Ivy in a small voice from the closet.  
"No...besides it's not even loaded"  
Ivy peeped her head out of the closet and looked at her Irish friend. She decided to take the chance. What did she have to lose? If Eve didn't shoot her she would know that she was trust-able and if she WAS shot it wouldn't be as bad as a real gun and she would know never to trust Eve. It was a win win situation in her opinion.  
She stepped out of the closet and slowly walked over to Eve.  
Eve on the other hand took no notice and loaded the gun which made Ivy flinch. When she was finished she gave it to Ivy and began to load her own gun.  
"Where'd you learn this?" asked Ivy.  
"School tour"  
Ivy gave Eve a look as if to say "explain please and don't leave anything out"  
Eve let out a breath and began "I went on an army boot camp thing for a school tour before and we learned this stuff okay? I won the highest gun score of the girls and later on won the title of G.I Jane" she finished a bit smugly.

"Okay" said Ivy, trying to drop the subject as Eve picked up her fully loaded weapon."Don't shoot me"she said before aiming at the wall beside her and firing.  
The girls laughed wildly as they shot at random spots on the walls adding to its color.  
As their fun started to come to an end Ivy thought that Eve was going to shoot her and asked her not to,again.  
"I'm not going to shoot you,if I was I would have done it already. That Joker wannabe is a different story though" she had said.  
"What?" asked Ivy, starting to get a bit paranoid now.  
"Well, he thinks he is the Joker right? Well the Joker shoots innocent people, so who is to say that he won't shoot us?" she responded completely at ease to what she was saying. She didn't even notice Ivy clutch her gun for comfort.  
Eve ran out of ammo then and put her gun back into it's casing. She then looked around the colorful room.  
_Well that was certainly fun_

"Thanks" said Ivy quietly. "That was fun...I'd like to start doing that more often"

"Trust me I would too" replied Eve with a smile on her face.  
"So lets see your work of art!" declared Ivy, starting to turn back into her old self again.  
"Okay come on"  
The two girls walked into the closet and into Eve's room.  
Ivy stared at the wall across from her, where the head of Eve's bed lay. It was all in black and white but the detail was amazing! It was like a magical land. No. It was like walking into "The Nightmare Before Christmas" except there were extra characters. All of them seemed to walk straight out of a Tim Burton movie actually. Sweeney Todd was there along with, Jack Skellington, Sally, Edward Scissor-hands, Emily. They were all there.  
The next wall, that was the wall with the window, was painted a deep rich purple.  
Ivy walked inside the room and stood in the very center.  
The wall that held the door was a deep green and the wall that she had just entered from was a rich red color.  
"Wow" Ivy breathed.  
"It's not finished yet, but I'm proud to call it mine" commented Eve happily from her side.  
"Not finished?"  
"Nah, I still have to paint up some quotes and finish the ceiling" Eve replied, avoiding Ivy's little burst of hysteria.  
"Quotes?"  
"Yup, I only have one finished so far. See?" explained Eve pointing to the black and white wall across from them.  
Ivy looked up and saw the line: _One man's insanity is another man's gain-Tim Burton  
_"You are a big fan aren't you?"  
"Yup...hey...what do you think the Joker wannabe would say if I wrote "Why so Serious?" asked Eve with a smirk and giving Ivy a playful elbow.  
Ivy laughed in response.  
"And what is the story with the ceiling?" asked Ivy remembering what Eve had said before.  
She looked up and saw that the ceiling had some how been painted a dark blue.  
"I like stars" stated Eve with a shrug."I want those glowy ones"

"Yeah...don't we all"  
"Some carpet would be nice" added Eve, now trying to make small talk.  
"Sure...Well I gotta get back to my room and fix the bed and stuff...maybe unpack...see ya" Ivy said before raising her hand in a weak wave and turning to leave.  
Ivy walked into the closet and stalked to her side of the room, searching for a trunk of her own. She spotted a green one at the far corner and dashed over to it, starting to get excited.

She opened it up and peered inside. She found her own IPod and dock station along with her laptop, books and DVD's.  
Ivy rolled her eyes in relief. If she was never going to see them again the Joker wannabe would seriously get hurt.  
She pulled out her IPod and dock station and carried them into her room and plugged them in. She set the IPod to shuffle and "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" randomly came up.  
She started to hum along with the tune while she picked up the red and black pots of paint. Then she picked up a brush, for the first time that day and began to paint a big smiley face like the Jokers trademark Glasgow Smile. And beneath it she had written(or painted) the famous quote "Why So Serious".  
She stood back and admired her handiwork while smiling herself.

_Better get cracking_ she thought before heading back into Eve's room.  
"Hey Eve?"  
"Hm?"  
Eve was on a ladder painting little white and yellow stars and different colored swirls onto the ceiling.  
"Can you help put some of the paint and stuff away with me please"  
"Sure,one sec" Eve replied before climbing down the ladder. She began to pile up the things that she didn't need anymore and then followed Ivy into her room. Once there Ivy picked up her things and they set off back towards the place where they had found the art supplies in the first place.  
They put the cans on the floor and Eve put the guns to the far corner of the room where she had originally gotten them.  
They then headed back to their rooms. Eve was going to finish her ceiling since she had left the ceiling paint in her room and Ivy was going to begin to unpack.  
Not once did they think of the man dressed in purple that had taken them from their homes or the red and black woman that had assaulted their cheeks, well Eve's anyway.  
Eve went back to her room and Ivy went into the closet to get her blankets and put them back onto her bed. She then returned to the adjoining closet that she shared with Eve. She randomly began to look at everything at her side of the room and spotted a white box that she had never seen before. She went to take a closer look and upon inspection, noticed that it was a shelf. That she had to assemble herself. _What the-_

"EVE!" shouted Ivy.  
"What is it?" asked Eve hurrying to her side. She had a paint brush in her hand and she was holding it up like a weapon.  
"Look at this?... Do we have to build this? Is this some sick joke? Is this planned by HIM?"  
"What?" asked Eve in disbelief before lowering the paint brush and looking at the shelf box."Oh no"  
"Oh yes"  
"That prick!"  
"You took the words right outta my mouth"  
"We better start then huh?"  
"Suppose"

Eve went over to her side of the room and found a box of her own to assemble  
"We better start one at a time because we might mix things up"  
Ivy just gave her a look.  
"Your right come on"  
The two girls picked up their boxes and headed towards Ivy's room.  
Ivy dumped the boxes contents on the floor as soon as she could and Eve shrugged and followed suit.

-

The girls had been trying to assemble their shelves together for over two hours and so far they had fought over what piece belonged to who and Ivy had managed but cut Eve's hand.  
They had constructed only half of there projects and were now sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall while staring at the pieces of wood in front of them.  
"I like this song" Ivy randomly said.  
"Give's you Hell" was starting to play on the Ipod beside them.  
"I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face" Ivy began to sing.  
Eve laughed out loud at the irony of the lyrics and pretty soon she was singing along too.  
The next thing they knew, they were spinning around the room like a pair of lunatics and screaming out the lyrics. Ivy broke out into an Air-Guitar and Eve started to use Air-Drums. Both girls jumped around head banging.  
But of course everything must come to a close sometime. And theirs came to an end with the sound of someone clearing their throat and then saying "I like your taste in art..."  
The girls turned around and once again faced their kidnapper.  
"Then again, Your boldness is another thing" he debated quietly to himself.

**Remember what I said above? Review!**


	4. Google

**Wooo update! Sorry about it being late but other stories and stuff have been keeping me busy and I am leaving in two weeks (don't worry it's only temporary)**

**Enjoy! And REVIEW!**

The two girls stared at the clown man. He was hunched over and standing by the door.  
Eve glanced at the smiley face on the wall and back to the man with the matching scars.  
"Boldness?" asked Ivy with a bored voice.  
"That's exactly what I...uh...am talk**ing** abou**t**" remarked the man in purple. He then raised his hands and began to clap enthusiastically and made his grin stretch."Marvellous, I...uh...simply ado**re** you're...uh...tas**te** in deco**r**"  
He gazed at the wall again and looked back sharply at Ivy. "How did you know?" he said in a casual voice but the menace was clear as he stepped closer towards the two girls.  
"Know what?" asked Eve, feigning interest.  
"That's MY thing" he said as if it were obvious and taking another step towards her. He was waving his hands around as he said this which made Eve a bit paranoid since she knew that the REAL Joker would probably produce a knife soon. It didn't stop her from responding though.  
"No. It's the Joker's thing"  
The Joker wannabe took another step towards her and left them inches apart. He looked down at her and raised his eyebrow at her. "Go on" he growled.  
"I said that it's the Jokers thing" Eve said looking up at him with a sneer on her face.  
"Then who...uh... am I?" asked the man in front of her.  
"You're the over obsessive fan" she replied sharply.  
"Fa**n**" he repeated turning around and walking away from Eve with a pensive look on his face.  
"The Joker has a...uh...fa**n**"  
"Course" Ivy interjected "Tonnes of them! Go on YouTube or to the cinema! And I'm his biggest so back off!" she threatened. She avoided the noise that Eve made and continued to stare at the man ahead of her.  
"Cinema?"  
"Duh how else do you think everyone knows about the guy, look up the trailers on the internet"  
"Yeah, it's as easy as making someone choke on their coke" Eve added.  
The other two people in the room just stared at her but she just smiled and looked away, rocking back and forth on her heels. "Some people just got really obsessed cause the guy that played him was hot" she carried on while staring at the wall.  
"Was?" Ivy screeched, "It's not true! It's a conspiracy!" Eve went over to her friend and gave her a hug.  
"She's still a bit in denial...very hard for her to take in" she whispered to the man in the purple suit who was staring at the girls as if they were aliens. "But you really should look up the trailers...one sec I'll be right back" Eve said before letting go of a barely stable Ivy and tip toeing around the pieces of wood on the floor to get to the closet. She came back a few minutes later holding a green laptop and walked over to where she had been not minutes before.  
"Now...YouTube" she muttered to herself. Ivy walked over to stand behind Eve.  
"Pencils" Ivy whispered to Eve.  
"I'm going, I'm going!"  
Eve began to type rapidly into the laptop with one hand and eventually turned to Ivy and said, "I can't find it" with her eyes wide.  
"What do you mean you can't find it? That's impossible! ...Your parents probably blocked your laptop with anti-Joker software"  
The two girls were now surrounding the laptop and forgetting about the man in the room.  
"Google the guy that played him" Ivy was whisper-commanding. "Google the director, what are you doing googling that? Google this instead"  
"YOU GO GOOGLE ON YOUR OWN LABTOP!" Eve roared, now losing her temper. Ivy stood there rooted to the spot for a few minutes. Eve had mentioned her temper before on their online chats but this totally took her off guard. It didn't seem like the funny and bubbly Eve that Ivy knew.  
"Now you two gals aren't fighting over lil old me now are you?" the Joker wannabe said trying to remind the girls of his presence.  
"SHUT UP!" Ivy and Eve shouted back in unison.  
"GET OUTTA MY ROOM!" Ivy yelled.  
"WITH PLEASURE!" Eve screamed back. And with that she grabbed the Joker wannabe's hand and stormed off to her room through the closet.  
Eve walked briskly into her room and let go of the Joker-guy's hand as soon as she crossed the threshold as if there were some kind of invisible barrier.  
"Nice walls. I bet you are the...uh... org-an-**ized** one with the plan" said the green haired man while looking at the walls.  
Eve just scoffed at this statement.  
"You have ...uh...brains ki**d**, I'll give you that...with you're...uh... quotes and st**uff**." He walked around the room and stared at every wall "You certainly ...uh...took the bare**ness** away from ...uh...the room, so, who...uh...is this Tim Burton gu**y**?"  
"Only the best director of all time!" And with that Eve dove into a huge lecture which almost made the Joker-guy wish that someone would shoot him, but he had to admire her passion. She led him through every character on her wall and where they were from.  
When she was finished the man in purple simply said "It's been a long day, get to bed" and walked off, taking the route that avoided going to Ivy's room.  
Eve gazed after him and then shrugged her shoulders before going into the closet to find some pyjamas. She picked out a purple tank top and a black pair of pants with her favourite furry purple booty slippers. She then proceeded to her en suite where she quickly got changed and brushed her teeth and hair, put her hair in a pony tail and cleaned her face of any trace of make-up. Eve always thought that she looked stoned whenever she woke up after not taking off her eyeliner the night before.  
When she exited the bathroom she saw that Ivy was standing in the middle of her room in her pyjamas too, only she had chosen a green top and white pants with green slippers.  
"It's kinda funny how we shop in completely different countries yet buy the same things" she said in a low voice while looking at the floor. Eve scratched her nose with the awkwardness so just decided to get everything over and done with. "Listen I-" she began but Ivy had begun to speak too.  
"Sorry you-"  
They both tried to talk at the same time until Eve gestured for Ivy to speak first.  
"I'm sorry for getting a bit controlling today and I know that I shouldn't have so I'm sorry about that. And I think that we shouldn't be fighting. Least of all right now, we are all we've got if you think about it logically and-" Ivy began to ramble but Eve cut her off.  
"It's okay, I'm sorry for snapping like that and I know that I shouldn't have...friends?" she asked raising her hand.  
"Truce" Ivy agreed  
"Now come on. Get your laptop. We've got some surfing to do" Eve said with a smile.  
Ivy smiled in response and went to get her laptop while Eve went to sit on her bed. Ivy returned with her purple laptop and Eve laughed out loud.  
"What?" Ivy asked.  
"The colours" Eve choked out before falling back on her bed in a fit of giggles. Pretty soon Ivy was joining in. After around fifteen minutes of laughter the girls finally got themselves together and got Google up onto their screens.  
They began to type but less than two minutes later both girls gasped in unison.  
"There is no Cillian Murphy!" Ivy cried.  
"Harley Quinn is on the Gotham times!" Eve replied with a cry also.  
"That doesn't exist, Cillian does!" Ivy replied.  
"I don't know I'm confused" Eve cried, starting to get panicky.  
Ivy looked around helplessly as Eve began to have a panic attack. She began to worry for her friend and didn't know what to do so she did what she thought was necessary and slapped Eve across the face.  
"WE ARE ALL SCREWED!" Eve screamed at Ivy with her hair in her face.  
Ivy just responded with another slap.  
"No we are not!" Ivy snapped before turning back to her laptop and typing rapidly. Eve searched her face and saw fear, paranoia, shock, disbelief and a number of other expressions cross her face.  
"What, what is it?" asked Eve beginning to get scared.  
"Nothing"  
"Oh thank God I thought-"  
"No, I mean there is nothing" Ivy interrupted.  
"What"  
"No actors, no directors, NO FRICKIN FAN BASE! Not even the Joker Blogs!"  
"But we love that guy" Eve began to sob.  
Eve then turned back to her own laptop saying "Then there is only one thing to it" before turning her computer to face Ivy.  
Ivy glanced at the screen but once she put her eyes on it she couldn't take them off. There was a picture of the silhouette of a bat and the heading in big black bold letters saying 'Batman' over head the image.  
Ivy took the laptop from Eve's grasp and stared at it.  
"This can't be real...this is a dream" Ivy began to say.  
"I think we are a long way from Kansas Toto" was all Eve said while turning to look at Ivy who just stared back at her Irish friend in complete shock

**Sorry in case there are any misspellings etc but I am in a hurry to post this but don't forget, Review!**


	5. How Do You Know That?

After another hour of searching Batman related things on the internet, Eve was still clicking away on her laptop and Ivy was walking in a perfectly straight line pretending to be a tight-rope walker.

"So there, the actors who played the characters aren't real." Ivy said, pointing at Eve who looked up from her laptop "Batman is one hundred percent real. So let's say I'm not in a coma and this isn't all some crazy realistic dream, my life is pretty crap at the moment."

"Are we real?" Eve asked. Ivy raised an eyebrow as she continued to walk across her imaginary tight-rope. "If we're real in this world then there is another us living some totally normal life back home."

Ivy ran over to her and leant over her friend and began to click and type on the laptop until she got to a social networking site. She type in her name and frowned at the results.

"That's not me." She said. "I'm not a 20 year old woman."

"Try me." Eve said typing her name in. "I'm not real!" She cried when she saw the only result that came up was a girl with bright orange skin and obviously dyed bleach blonde hair.

"Is it unusual that I am suddenly terrified?" Ivy said as she stood up and stared at the wall. She snapped her head down to look at Eve who was staring at her as if to say 'What on earth are you saying?'

"Number one: we have been kidnapped." Ivy said as she began to tight-rope walk again. "Number two: we have been kidnapped…BY THE JOKER!"

"I'm failing to see the bad side of this." Eve said with a smile. She closed her laptop and stood up. "Have you seen him? He's gorgeous!"

"He's a murdering psychopath." Ivy said.

"Who's a…uh… murdering _psycho_path?" The Joker's voice asked. Ivy jumped when she saw the Joker standing in the door.

"Not you. No. No. No. Eve is. You're completely sane." Ivy said as she began walking backwards.

"_Somebody _seems nervous." The Joker laughed.

"You're the Joker." Ivy pointed out. "You're the guy who … did all that bad stuff. It's hard not to be nervous."

"I'm not nervous." Eve pointed out. She was sitting crossed legged on the floor and smiling up at the two.

"So you've already cracked? You've gone insane already?" The Joker asked leaning down to Eve.

"When was she ever sane?" Ivy muttered.

"Mistah J!" Harley Quinn called as she walked into the room. Ivy sighed and leant back against the wall. "That's the one that bit me!" Harley screamed as she pointed a slim finger at Ivy.

Ivy just smirked and folded her arms.

"So you're scared of the Joker but not Harley-Quinn?" Eve laughed.

"Harley is… more annoying then scary." She looked up at Harley who was beginning to look angry. "No offence." Ivy added.

"I like the brunette one more." Harley said to the Joker.

"Gee thanks!" Ivy said sarcastically. "It's because I'm ginger isn't it."

"W-what?" Harley muttered. Ivy shook her head.

"Discrimination." She said. She glared at Harley for a bit and then burst out laughing.

"I love doing that!" She laughed. "Every one goes dead quiet and it's so awkward."

"Anyway Mistah J." Harley said as she glared at Ivy. "Why are you in here?"

"I wanted to know why the, uh, _children _are awake past their _bedtimes._" The Joker said.

"Explain to the good man why we're awake, Eve." Ivy said.

"I will never sleep!" Eve yelled. Ivy grabbed onto her wrist.

"Not like that." She hissed but Eve laughed.

"Well if you won't go to _slee_**p** you might want to come and meet the uh, _family." _The Joker said.

"That won't be necessary." Ivy said as the Joker grabbed her and Eve's wrist and began to drag them across the room.

"Nonsense." Eve said happily. "I'm always up for making new friends."

"God help me please." Ivy muttered.

"So do you have children and stuff? Do you have a brother or sister? Do you have-" Eve began to say but the Joker cut her off.

"SHUT UP!" He roared. Ivy jumped and tried not to burst out crying. "How do you get your _friend_ to be _quiet?" _

"I honestly wish I knew Mr Joker man." Ivy muttered.

"Mr Joker man." Eve began to laugh. "That's new, I haven't heard that one before."

Ivy leant behind the Joker and smacked the back of Eve's head.

"How can you not be panicking?" She hissed.

"Here we are." The Joker said happily as he tugged on the girls wrists so they stumbled in front of him. "These are my men."

"Hello." Eve said dragging out her word and giving them a little wave. The men stared at them up and down. There were at least 30 men in the room. Some didn't give them a second glance, some stared at them, some looked at them and gave them the creeps and someone in the corner waved back happily.

"I like him." Ivy whispered pointing at the man who waved back and was reading a 'sex and the city' book. "He's my new best friend."

"I thought I was your best friend!" Eve yelled.

"Best friend who isn't mentally challenged in the face of utter terror." Ivy muttered.

"Fine I call dibbs on the emo in the corner!" Eve yelled as she pointing to a man with a black side fringe that covered his left eye. He was talking to some other man but looked up at Eve and looked terrified. Eve just smiled.

"I'll leave you to get to know each other." The Joker said and then he left the room.

"NO!" Ivy yelled as she tried to run after him.

"Well hello beautiful girl." A man purred at Eve.

"Well hello fat middle aged man." Eve said back. Ivy was banging on the door with her fists but the sound of some one slapping some one made her stop. She spun around and saw Eve glaring at a man while clutching her cheek.

"Don't talk to me like that." The man said.

"Don't touch her!" Ivy screamed. She stormed over to the man and stood in front of her friend. She took a step back when she saw how tall he was.

"What are you going to do about it, short stuff?" The man laughed. Ivy brought her leg back and then kicked the man in-between the legs. He stumbled back and clutched his private parts. Ivy quickly kneed him in the stomach and then grabbed his long hair.

"SAY YOU GIVE IN!" Ivy yelled in his face.

"W-what?" The man stuttered.

"SAY IT!" Ivy screamed.

"I GIVE IN!" The man finally shouted. Ivy nodded and let go of him. There was a burst of laughter from across the room and the Joker was leaning against a door frame that Ivy cursed herself for not spotting.

"Well done." The Joker laughed as he made his way through the sea of men. "_Very _well done. How did you learn to fight like that?"

"I have two older brothers. If you grow up with my two older brothers you have to learn to beat them up or you don't survive." Ivy said. The Joker nodded and then looked at the two.

"You need to come and say sorry to Harley." He said deadly serious.

"I didn't do anything." Eve pointed out. "I have nothing to say sorry for."

"She touched me with out permission. She should say sorry to me." Ivy said. The Joker grabbed Ivy's wrist and began to pull her out of the room. Eve skipped behind them happily.

"Don't hurt me!" Ivy said quickly. The Joker threw her into a room and she stumbled to the floor. When she looked up, she saw Harley glaring down at her.

"This is going to be fun to watch." Eve said as she leant against the wall next to the Joker.

"I'm sorry." Ivy muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. The Joker gave her a kick to her lower back. She let out an overdramatic sigh.

"I'm very sorry for biting your finger Harleen." Ivy muttered.

"My names Harley!" Harley screamed.

"That's not what your birth certificate says." Ivy said with a smile.

"I don't like you." Harley said. Ivy smiled and got to her feet. "Plus you should call me Mom."

"WHAT?" Ivy yelled.

"We're not about to go about calling _you_ Mom. Plus it's not even Mom its Mam!"Eve exclaimed.

"No…it's Mum." Ivy said quietly.

"Mam." Eve snapped.

"Mum!" Ivy snapped back.

"Mom!" Harley yelled joining in.

"I'm English I'm right!" Ivy said.

"I'm Irish I'm right. We have Cillain Murphy and what do you have? You have Robert Pattinson and he looks like a foot!" Eve said with a smirk.

"We have… MATT SMITH!" Ivy said with a giant smile.

"Pfft, Cillain Murphy is better." Eve laughed.

"NO! A TIME LORD BEATS A SCARECROW ANY DAY!" Ivy yelled.

"America has J." Harley pointed out.

"Technically, Australia has J." Eve said.

"What?" The Joker muttered.

"Heath Ledger is Australian." Ivy said.

"Who's Heath Ledger?" Harley asked.

"OH MY GOD, GO KILL YOURSELF!" Eve yelled. Ivy clasped her hand around Eve's mouth.

"Don't talk to the clowns like that." She hissed in Eve's ear.

"I don't like the brunette one either."Harley moaned. Eve licked Ivy's hand and Ivy jumped back and franticly wiped her hand on her jeans.

"At least learn our names." Eve said.

"J didn't tell me." Harley muttered.

"Ivy and Eve." Ivy said.

"I have a friend called Ivy!" Harley squealed.

"I know." Ivy mumbled.

"Me too." Eve said.

"She has red hair like you…" Harley said.

"I know. I get this a lot. May I point out, I don't have the ability to chat to plants." Ivy said.

"How do you-" Harley began to say.

"I'M TIRED!" Eve yelled, interrupting Harley.

"Me too." Ivy agreed. "We should hit the hay."

"Yes we should. Good night kidnappers." Eve said as she left the room with Ivy following. They ran down the hall and into their rooms.

00

Eve was woken up when she heard a noise coming from the closets. She frowned and got out of bed. She walked over to the closet and saw Ivy standing on a chair on her tip toes.

"What are you doing?" Eve asked. Ivy let out a shocked scream and fell off of the chair. She looked up at Eve and frowned.

"Some ones very twitchy today!" Eve said with a smile.

"I'm trying to find my Batman T-shirt." Ivy said as she climbed back on the chair.

"You have a Batman T-shirt?" Eve said.

"Yes and two Joker T-shirts." Ivy said as she threw down a T-shirt. Eve held it in front of her. It had a black and white block picture of the Joker on it and then the words 'Ha Ha Ha' written over and over again.

"I want it!" Eve said.

"No it's mine." Ivy said as she threw another one down. This one was black with all the Joker's goon's masks on it. "FOUND IT!" She yelled as she leapt off of the chair and held a T-shirt with the Batman symbol in front of her.

"What do you need it for?" Eve asked.

"I think I should burn it." Ivy muttered.

"NO!" Eve yelled.

"What will the Joker do if he sees it?" Ivy asked as she screwed it into a ball. She gave up on the idea of burning it and was about to hide it behind her other clothes.

"Sees what?" A voice asked. Harley was standing in the doorway of the closet.

"THIS AWESOME T SHIRT!" Eve screamed as she held the 'Joker' T-shirt to show Harley.

"I need that T-shirt." Harley said.

"NO!" Ivy said as she grabbed the T-shirt and held it close to her chest. "It's mine."

"Well you can't wear that today anyway." Harley said with a smirk. She left the room and came back seconds later with two dresses.

One was purple with puffy sleeves. The skirt part of the dress had green netting coming out the bottom from under the skirt making the bottom of the dress puff out. The other one was the same but the purple was replaced with red and the green was replaced with black.

"I call dibs on the purple one!" Eve yelled.

"I'm not wearing that." Ivy said with her arms crossed.

"You're my little girls and you'll do as I say." Harley said as she pushed the dress into Ivy's chest.

10 minutes later.

Eve emerged from her room and spun around up and down the hallway. Harley clapped and smiled.

"I look like a fairy princess." Eve said with a smile. She stopped in front of Ivy's door and smirked. She yanked the door open and saw Ivy standing in the corner of the room frowning. She was wearing the red dress though. Eve skipped over to her and pulled her into the hallway.

"You look lovely." Eve said happily.

"I don't wear dresses." Ivy muttered.

"Do we get to wear make up?" Eve asked Harley happily. Ivy stared at Eve with huge eyes. She shook her head slowly.

"Sure." Harley said happily.

"No way on this planet!" Ivy screamed. "I don't do make up and I don't do dresses. I want my converse back."

"No converse if I can't doll you all up." Harley said.

"Doll me up?" Ivy asked.

"Put some make-up on you, curl your hair, give you bunches in your hair. Make you look like cute little dolls." Harley muttered.

"Let me wear my converse and you can curl my hair." Ivy said.

"You're such a tomboy." Eve said. Ivy stuck out her tongue.

"Deal." Harley said shaking Ivy's hand.

000

"How did you get that scar?" Harley asked Eve as she pulled her hair into a pony tail identical to the pony tail on the other side of the girls head. There was a scar just below her hair line.

"I got in a fight with a cat." Eve muttered. Ivy sat crossed legged on the bed; her auburn hair was now curled.

"You look nice." Eve said as she smiled at her friend.

"I look like Annie." Ivy moaned.

"Who's Annie?" Harley asked.

"You know… orphan Annie… it's a musical. She sings and dances." Ivy said. Harley made a small 'o' with her mouth.

"The red dress doesn't help." Eve pointed out. The door flew open and The Joker was in the doorway. He grinned as if he had a horrible plan.

"What do you think Mr J?" Harley asked.

"Wonderful." He muttered.

"I have a question for you _Mr J!"_ Eve said.

"Shoot." The Joker said.

"You know our names right?" Eve asked. Ivy raised an eyebrow, not yet seeing where this was going.

"Eve and Ivy." The Joker said.

"How do you know our names?" Eve asked.

"I've been, uh, following you." The Joker said.

"We've been following you." Harley pointed out.

"For how long?" Ivy asked standing on the bed with her arms crossed.

"We saw your first kiss." The Joker said to Ivy. She sat down and her cheeks went redder then her dress.

"Which one?" She muttered.

"What do you mean which one?" Eve asked. "First kiss. The first one."

"The spin the bottle one and the one in the rain." Harley said.

"Spin the bottle." Eve laughed.

"It didn't count!" Ivy yelled.

"Why?" Eve asked.

"It was with her best friend." The Joker said. Ivy hid her face with her hands.

"The guy with the cool hair. Finn?" Eve asked.

"Nope." Harley said, obviously delighted with Ivy's embarrassment.

"Shut up." Ivy screamed.

"It was with a pretty little girl called Kayleigh." The Joker said as he took a couple steps towards the two girls.

"A girl?" Eve laughed. "I thought you were…"

"It was a dare. It lasted less then two seconds. It was like. ..'Mwah!' and done! It doesn't count it wasn't a first kiss. It was a touching of the lips." Ivy muttered.

"And the other one?" Eve asked.

"That was even embarrassing to watch." Harley said.

"That poor guy." The Joker muttered. "Looked like it hurt."

"That was a year ago! You've been stalking me for over a year?" Ivy yelled.

"Then you saw the incident with the plastic fork." Eve asked.

"Oh yeah." Harley said. "You hurt that guy pretty bad. He couldn't walk for weeks."

"Yeah well I told him I'd do it if he didn't stop." Eve muttered.

Then there was a fit of the laughter that was undeniably the Joker. But it didn't come from the Jokers lips…oh no… it came from Eve's phone.

**Sweeney. Sparrow. Joker. Love!: A/N: **Oh no! That took a while to update didn't it! But OMG Skitzo-Vamp is going away for a whole 23 DAYS! HOW WILL I LIVE!

Ahhh!

Any who.

Review or I will get my Matt Smith cut out to come and eat you! !


	6. She'll attack me but she won't kill me

**I'm back!  
Camp is over and the girls are back!  
Eve starts to speak a bit of Irish here so don't worry, the translations and stuff are at the end.  
Enjoy!**

"Wha**t** was tha**t**" said the Joker after an awkward silence. Somewhere between the silence Eve had begun to clasp her hands together horizontally and make her thumbs move around. In fact she was still doing it.

"The awkward silence turtle" Eve replied as if it were obvious. Ivy gave her a sideways glance which was obviously telling her to shut up.

"No no**t **tha**t**, the...uh...ringtone"

"Erm...what ringtone...it was on vibrate...it tickles me" Eve coughed up.

"Never mind that hun...Mistah J...what was so funny, why did you laugh?" Harley interjected.

"I didn't laugh" snapped the Joker, clearly annoyed

"That's my natural laugh!" protested Eve. Not a second after she had said that the words 'Hello B_eau_-tif-al' rang throughout the room and it was Eves turn to give Ivy a sideways glance. Once again it was in the Jokers voice. Ivy glanced back at Eve and ran over to a nearby teddy bear that had somehow appeared in the room, coughing as she did so. She picked up the teddy and slowly turned to look at the two clowns.

"It's a pretty teddy bear"

"YOU said that?" asked Harley disbelievingly, crossing her arms as she did so.

Ivy didn't know what to think. Was it the fact that she was doting over a bear or was it the fact that she had said something and sounded like the Joker?

"I had phlegm in my throat when I said it...isn't he just the cutest?" said Ivy trying to play along and thinking out her words carefully before speaking them.

The two clowns stared back and forth between the two girls

"Harls can ya take Eve to her...uh...room like a doll?" said the Joker looking down at the ex-therapist.

"Okay" she squeaked in a chirpy voice before grabbing Eve by the upper arm and dragging her into her room through the closet. Eve glanced back at her red haired friend before being yanked away. Ivy looked terrified.

"For a second there Ivy really sounded like Mistah J" said Harley as she looked at the black and white wall with the characters painted on.

"Yeah...she sounds weird sometimes...like a guy" Eve lied; she knew that it had been her friends phone.

"Won't she kill you for saying that?"

"Nah...she'll attack' me but she won't 'kill' me" replied Eve, emphasising the words 'attack' and 'kill'.

000

Ivy was left standing alone in her room with only the Joker to keep her company after Eve had been dragged away by the woman that was about to get her finger bitten clean off after Ivy was through with her.

"So...I killed someone before" she said randomly, since the Joker was staring at her and she was beginning to get unnerved by it.

"Really?"

"Nah...I'm just fooling with yah"

Once again they were stuck in an awkward silence. Ivy debated doing what Eve had done, by using the awkward sea turtle, but decided against it. She had to keep her head in this situation. But then again Eve was still alive and she was treating this place as if...well as if she couldn't die, as if she were in a dream, as if she owned the place. There wasn't really a word to describe it...she just didn't care.

"You like music?...you a metal guy? Indie perhaps?" she suggested.

"Will you quit trying to change to subject!"

"Stop scaring me!"

"Is it the scars?"

"Ugh...why is it ALWAYS the scars? Sheesh marry them already! Go and have scarrish psycho babies! Or better yet marry me!" she screamed.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" Ivy yelled before turning on her heel and running into Eve's room, not caring that the harlequin would be there or the fact that she had just turned her back on one of the most wanted men in Gotham.

She ran in through the closet and into Eve's room. Harley stared at her in shock.

"Get out now or I promise that you will lose more than just one finger" Ivy growled in a dark acidic voice.

Harley squeaked and left the room, obviously petrified by her new 'daughter'. She looked at Ivy with wide eyes before turning on her heel and running out of the room.

"What happened? What did he say to you?" rushed Eve, going to stand in front of her friend.

"Nothing...he just stared...never mind...I'm hungry" Ivy said.

"Me too...come with me I want to show you something" spoke Eve as she grabbed Ivy, just as Harley had done to her, and dragged her into the closet. Once inside she ran over to her side of the room and pulled out a trunk that was hidden beneath the rack of clothes and opened it. Ivy peered inside and her mouth watered.

It was the Holy Grail of junk food.

Chocolate of nearly every kind, crisps, drink, gummy bears, liquorice, EVERYTHING. The trunk was practically glowing.

"Welcome to my secret stash" Eve introduced, waving her hand in the direction of the food.

"It should keep us going if you get too paranoid to eat any food that the clowns offer up, tuck in!" and with that she picked up a can of red bull and a box of Oreos and headed straight into her room Ivy looked down at the trunk again and quickly snatched a bag of gummy bears and a can of coke. She then proceeded to go into Eve's room and collapsed on her bed.

"Where did you get all that stuff?"

"I'm a collector" Eve shrugged, "And I **love** sugar" she added emphasising the 'love'.

"I can see that" _And it explains a lot_ Ivy added in her mind.

"How did they watch us for so long? How did we not know this? They were stalking us!" Eve exclaimed.

Ivy was taken aback by this. She didn't expect Eve to say something like that...there had to be something else...something to lighten the mood.

"And all this time I could have gotten his autograph" Eve added with a sad sigh, "Oh well he's stuck with us know...hmm...daddy J...ha-ha waddya think?"

_There it is_ Ivy thought with a smirk.

"What's so funny?" asked Eve, probably high from her energy drink already.

"Nothing"

"Come on! Tell me!" she squealed.

The door flung open to Eve's room and in popped the Jokers head with an annoyed expression "SHU**T** THE HELL U**P** AND GO TO SLEE**P**!" he roared before slamming the door closed, leaving the girls to look at it with awe struck expressions. They looked at each other and began to laugh.

No matter how bad a situation she was in, Eve didn't fail to help put Ivy in a good mood. They laughed for a few minutes until the sugar that they had eaten crashed in their system and left them tired.

"Okay so today we woke up and found out that we were kidnapped, randomly painted our rooms" Ivy began to list on her fingers as Eve chuckled, "Found out that our kidnapper is a fictional character, nearly bit his 'girlfriends' finger off" Ivy made quotation marks with her fingers for the word girlfriend, "Tried to build a shelf, beat up a goon, got dolled up" Ivy looked down at herself, "Literally, and...stuff"

"Wow, we sure did a lot today, but you know what the best part was?" Eve asked.

Ivy let out a strange noise that sounded like she was trying to suppress a laugh but let Eve continue anyway, "What?"

"I got to finally see my bestest friend ever!" and with that she gave Ivy a hug that she wasn't expecting.

When they were finished their hug and pulled away Ivy asked "So what do we do tomorrow?"

"Erh...why not 'go with the flow'" Eve suggested and raised her fingers as a sign of peace like a hippy. "Now get outta my room. I wanna sleep and you need to as well, especially if we find out that this wasn't a dream and have to put up with everything all over again tomorrow...even though I hope it isn't a dream and you will still be here when I wake up but I am rambling so...yeah...sorry...G'nite!" and with that Eve pulled the covers over her and turned off the bed side lamp, leaving Ivy in the dark.

000

The next morning Eve was caught between consciousness and unconsciousness as if it were a normal Saturday morning and she was at home. Expecting her parents to shout up the stairs and tell her to wake up. As if she would get yelled at later for not eating breakfast.

But nothing happened.

In fact Eve opened her eyes a jar and saw a big Cheshire grin and a girl with red hair staring intently down at her. She jerked awake and sat up as quick as lightening.

"Good morning gorgeous" the Joker greeted her in a tone that she noticed was used when he crashed Bruce Wayne's party and threw Rachel Dawes out the window.

_Wow he really didn't like her_ she thought, looking back on the movie.

"Get dressed, breakfast is nearly ready" he ordered and walked out of the room.

"What the hell" Ivy mouthed.

Eve just shrugged and got out of bed.

"Are you a morning person?" Eve moaned to Ivy as she trudged into the closet to find something to wear.

"I don't think I am but I get up early anyway"

"Why?" Eve cried still a bit tired and confused.

"Cause I have too"

"But, what gets you out of bed in the morning?"

"Knowing that I can talk to you and rewatch 'The Dark Knight' for the millionth time" Ivy responded lightly.

Eve just sighed and pulled out a blue dress that went down to her knees and had floral patterns on it. She then pulled out blue and black striped tights and a pair of her black pumps.

"Why do you have so many black pumps?" Ivy questioned, looking at Eves shoe collection. "Or all those shoes for that matter".

Eve shrugged again. "Occasions, what matches what, the weather. I dunno, take your pick". She walked into her bathroom and Ivy waited outside since she was already fully dressed.

"This is probably gonna be my first time ever actually having family breakfast that I had to wake up for" Eve called through the door. There was a sound of someone or something falling over and a string of profanities could be heard.

"Are you okay?" Ivy called.

"Peachy, I never really wore dresses but since I came here I just don't care anymore, no one knows me so if I want to dress weird I'll do whatever the hell I like." Eve called.

"Not mentally, are you okay? Do you need help?"

The door swung open and revealed a very blue Eve. "I'm fine...just feeling a little black and blue" she chuckled at her own joke. "Now...where is my makeup up up up up up"

She snagged a blue bag with white polka dots from a shelf in the closet and walked back into her room. She sat on the bed and pulled out her makeup, starting with foundation.

"Why do you bother with make up?" Ivy asked, honestly curious

"Cause its dress up? Hide and go Seek? I hate my freckles?" Eve said.

"I like you freckles, besides you can still see them"

"Fine, I hate my spots"

"Whatever"

By this time Eve was just after finishing her blue eye shadow and starting on her black pencil eyeliner.

"Oh"

"What?" Ivy asked.

"Nothing just, de ja vu...why are you so against getting dressed up anyway?"

"I'm not AGAINST it...I just don't like make-up"

"Done!" Eve called and began to pack her makeup away. She had added liquid eyeliner to the tops of her eyes and added the classic 'flick' to them and used a very light natural lipstick. She put the makeup bag away and headed for the door. "You coming?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Aren't you gonna make your bed?"

"No"

There was another awkward silence and Eve began to do the turtle again. Ivy chuckled.

"What?" asked Eve.

"Make your bed"

"Why? I like messy beds" Eve protested.

"Just do it"

Eve sighed and threw the blanket up in the air and put it back done on the bed neatly. "There. Happy?"

"Very" Ivy replied with a smirk and grabbed Eve by the arm before pulling her down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"How do you know where to go?" Eve asked, looking at Ivy who was looking straight ahead.

"Joker gave me directions...besides...can't you smell the food?"

Eve paused and took some time to sniff the air. The smell of toast flooded her lungs and it was her turn to drag Ivy. She began to run down corridors and hallways, taking lefts and rights until eventually she found the kitchen. Upon entering Eve had to adjust to the sight of her kidnapper sitting at a table as if it were perfectly normal for him to sit at a kitchen table and read the newspaper (even though it probably was), Harley was busy with the toaster and the oven but she noticed when the girls walked in.

"Good morning sunshine's!" she said to Eve in particular with a big smile on her face. "Take a seat breakfast is just ready".

Ivy and Eve were ushered into the chairs that were one at either side of the Joker. Ivy sighed and sat down as Eve let out a 250 kilo-watt smile and took a seat.

Harley put down a bowl of scrambled eggs and a plate of bacon on the table and returned to the kitchen counter to get more things. Ivy stared at the food with wide eyes, obviously debating whether to eat or not. Eve stared at her and Ivy stared back. Eve moved her eyes to the Joker and back by way of saying 'Let him eat first, then we will know if it's poisoned, so act cool'.

While they were having there silent conversation Harley returned with a stack of toast and a bowl of beans. Ivy took two slices of toast and scooped some eggs onto her plate. Eve did the exact same and added some beans and mushrooms (that had appeared on the table) onto her plate.

Then the girls were left with full plates and staring at each other waiting for someone to take the first bite. The tension was unbearable and the Joker obviously wasn't making any effort to eat yet, even though he had thrown away his newspaper.

Eve couldn't take it anyway more and the tension was killing her, usually when tension ran high at home she would just walk away but she couldn't do that now, especially with Ivy sitting across from her, besides when she DID walk away at home she usually got into huge trouble afterwards.

She lifted some scrambled eggs to her mouth and sniffed them before closing her eyes and quickly putting it in her mouth. She closed her eyes and waited for something to happen but all that happened was a warm taste of egg appearing in her mouth. Ivy let out a huge breath that she had been holding and began to butter some toast, shaking her head while she did so and smirking as if she were talking to herself in her thoughts.

Hell, Eve did it.

Eve put some more egg in her mouth and looked at her next scoop before randomly saying "**Is aobhinn liom ubh**"

The other three people in the room just stared at her.

"**Cad**?"

"Eve sweetheart are you feeling okay?" Harley asked in a concerned voice and trying to feel Eves forehead.

"What's the problem kid?" Joker joked.

"**Nil aon faidhb**" Eve replied plainly.

Everyone looked at each other and then resumed staring at Eve as if she were some mutated animal on display.

"I'm fine honestly!" she said, starting to get unnerved by the stares just as Ivy had done.

"I think her vegetarianism is affecting her" Harley mused still staring at her but with her chin resting in her hand.

"Leave the child alone, if it scares people or unnerves them, let her be" the Joker ordered and bit into a slice of bacon.

"So what's today's agenda Mistah J" asked Harley as she buttered a slice of toast for herself but still looking at Eve from the corner of her eye. Eve wondered why Harley had to sit next to her, why couldn't she just sit beside Ivy for crying out loud?

"Hm we might take a family day out later...how about that?"

"What about school?" Eve asked randomly. Ivy stared at her for a second before bringing her index finger over her neck by way of telling her to 'Shut Up'. The Joker watched her doing this for a while and raised is eyebrow in amusement before turning to Eve.

"Would you like to go to school?"

"'Dunno, don't care', that's my motto...or one of them anyway...but it would be cool to check out an American school, let alone the infamous Gotham" Eve began to get a bit dramatic at the end of her sentence and by the word 'Gotham' she had her hands out stretched as if she were about to courtesy or bow.

She folded her arms and put them on the table and reached in closer to the clown "Think about it" she lowered her voice, her eyes darkening and peering through her eyelashes, "Your eyes and ears of Gotham, you already blew up a hospital, if you were to blow up a school, we could put the ammo in there for you" she pulled back and put the chair up on two legs. "And that can be our extra credit homework" she said in a chirpy voice.

Ivy stared at Eve, she had never seen her dark side before and the transformation was so fast it was almost unbelievable. One second she was Eve, then she got all dark and started plotting like the Joker sometimes did, and then she became all chirpy like Harley.

_She wasn't kidding when she said that she was empathic _Ivy thought.

000

After breakfast Ivy and Eve went back to Ivy's room to finish building their shelves.

"This stupid instruction thing is in French!" Ivy cried as she flung the instruction manual across the room.

"Sorry Ive's but I failed French."Eve said with her back leaning against the wall and letting her shoes click together like 'The Wizard of Oz' except she was holding a screw driver and screwing stuff together.

They had been at this for ten minutes and Ivy was starting to get frustrated while Eve was just guessing everything as if it were a trigonometry question.

"Hey Ivy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we ever check those texts in the end? The ones that nearly got us caught"

"No but-"

"What do you think would happen if we told the Joker that he was our ringtones?"

"I don't know but I DO KNOW that I want to read the text now"

Ivy pulled out her phone and scrolled around to read the text.

"THE ONLY CONNECTION I HAVE TO THE OUTSIDE/REAL WORLD AND IT'S A FRICKIN COMPUTER GENERATED COMPANY TEXT! AND IT NEARLY GOT US KILLED!"

"Okay the killing bit was a bit dramatic" Eve tried to reason with her friend in a calm voice.

"I CANT HELP IT I'M A DRAMATIC PERSON!"

"Well will you please try to channel your drama into finishing these stupid shelves; I don't want all my stuff to be stuffed in a closet.

"Okay, okay"

A few minutes later they had finally finished the shelves and had put one in each room. Ivy was sitting on Eve's bed and watching as Eve put photographs and trinkets on the shelves along with a couple of books. They had already had an argument about what DVD's they could put on the shelves and came to the agreement that none of the Batman ones were aloud on display. Eve had put up a good fight though like "They packed our stuff so they probably saw them anyway" but Ivy still won regardless.

"When we go out, we better get to go shopping, I bet the Joker has a tonne of cash and even if he didn't we could just steal it" Eve had declared.

"He burnt his money silly, remember? Besides, why are you so calm about stealing stuff?"

Eve shrugged "Because I'm not alone?"

At that precise moment the girls' kidnappers decided to grace the room with their presence.

"Show time!" declared the man in purple with a rough voice but with a smirk.

**Is aobhinn liom ubh: pronounced 'Is even lum oov' meaning: I love egg**

**Cad: Pronounced: 'cawd' meaning: What**

**Nil aon faidhb: pronounced: 'kneel aen fibe' meaning: no problem**

**Hope you enjoyed this!Skitz**

**Oh yeah and new fan art is up...check my page for links!**

**REVIEW! Or Eve will come after you with her fork!**


	7. Shopping Stabby Stabbies

**Wow  
Well this is definatley the longest chapter that I have written! I am not at home and the internet is bad but I got it to you! If you just began reading because of my 'Who's your Favourite' fiction : welcome!  
For the others : check it out  
XD  
Enjoy!**

"NO! IT WILL BE CRAP...I ASSISTED IN THEFT BEFORE, NEVER AGAIN!" she roared as she climbed under her bed, dragging the covers as she did so.

The man in purple raised an eyebrow and let an amused smirk escape.

"Then again", she mused, lowering her voice, "I did get some awesome stuff from it".

Ivy just stood there, watching the scene unravel with her mouth agape.

The Joker just made an agitated noise and reached down to pull Eve out by the ankle. She didn't kick or scream, as Ivy had expected, but made a noise of defeat and was sprawled out as if she were trying to dig her nails into the floor board.

Then the Joker grabbed her by her hand and began to drag her out of the room and down the hallway, leaving Ivy to follow behind.

_Is anyone going to ask me about my opinions?_ She thought as she trailed along.

"WHAT ABOUT MY COAT!" Eve shouted.

_Obviously not_

Eve was ignored and thrown into the back of a van. She looked around as Ivy jumped in after her and saw a couple of goons, including the goon that Ivy had bagged as her friend and the emo in the corner. She awkwardly smiled at nothing in particular before climbing up to take a seat by Ivy who wasn't making any effort to acknowledge anyone's presence.

Harley and the Joker climbed into the front. Harley seemed perky which annoyed Ivy to no end. Eve glanced at her English friend and noticed her glaring at the harlequin in front of them. Ivy was planning on doing something big, and whatever it was Eve wanted 'in'.

"Count me in" she whispered quietly.

"So girls!" Harley began in her loud and cheery voice which made the two girls jump after they had become accustomed to silence and Eve's whispers. "We need to make a stop off at the bank first and then we can go and hit the town 'kay?" she asked with her head resting on her folded arms.

"We'll paint the town red" Eve said.

The Joker chuckled darkly from behind the steering wheel.

"You'd need a lot of paint, Gotham seems pretty big." Ivy began and looked around but people awkwardly ignored her and began to stare at their shuffling feet. "What?"

The group arrived at Gotham Bank in no time and Ivy and Eve hopped out.

The Joker, Harley and the goons walked in ahead of the girls and the sound of gunshots filled the air before they had even entered the building. When they walked in everyone was already on the floor or under a desk with their hands over their heads.

Eve didn't look as if she cared, in fact she looked bored.

Goons were already getting bags of money and Harley was prancing around like a minx while the Joker was making the hostages hold on to grenades for dear life.

Ivy was horrified. She couldn't believe that she was watching this happen and how easily the villains could take this. Harley really pissed her off. Especially right now. She was so horrified; she didn't notice Eve picking up one of the bags of money.

"Come on, this is boring" whined Eve before grabbing Ivy's upper arm and dragging her off.

"Where are we going?" Ivy asked as Eve dragged her through an alley.

"Dunno, don't care" Eve replied, "Anywhere, wanna go shopping?"

"Do you have cash?" Ivy asked, her breathing starting to become uneven.

"Sure" Eve answered, patting the bag that was slung over her shoulder "you okay?"

"Sure I'm just..." Ivy didn't finish her sentence because she didn't know how but it didn't matter because Eve was dragging her onto a nearby bus that had stopped across the street.

Once inside, Eve threw ten dollars at the man and went to sit down on a seat at the back of the bus with Ivy leading her.

Ivy kept her head between her knees as she tried to get her breathing back to normal which earned a few stares from other commuters.

"Bad traveller" Eve said as she kept a hand on Ivy's back.

A snobby looking man in front turned around to see what was going on but received a glare from Eve instead, "What are you looking at?".

The man turned around and muttered something along the line of "Children these days". Eve would gladly have attacked the man but she didn't want to draw any attention.

The bus jerked forward and began to move along with Gotham's traffic.

Ivy had finally returned to normal and was looking outside the window and observing her surroundings.

"Hey, nice there is no such thing as the blogs and the actors and stuff, do you think the 'Nightmare Before Christmas' is real?" asked Eve randomly to Ivy who just laughed in response

000

The girls had gotten off at a stop that declared 'City Central' and headed in the direction of one of the alternative shops that they had spotted immediately after getting off the bus.

When they entered Eve had whispered to Ivy "If I asked for a Joker tee here, I would probably get a dirty look or a straightjacket". This had made Ivy laugh again but she responded none the less "If you got it in purple you wouldn't care".

"True true"

They left a half an hour later with a two bags each and began to walk to the other shops around town. They saw Gotham buskers and homeless people but there wasn't one sign of the infamous Batman.

They walked into an electrical shop to look around and Eve noticed how Ivy had been eyeing a purple camera and she knew that Ivy wouldn't buy it even though Eve had halved the money with her. They split up and went to look around different areas of the shop and said that they would meet each other up at the restaurant next door.

Ivy went to look at the televisions and Eve ran over to the camera and laptop section. Eve looked around as she picked up the camera and went to purchase it. There was no sign of Ivy lurking around and Eve felt a wave of relief wash over her.

When she had paid for the camera she didn't stay and look for anything for herself and instead walked out the door. She walked into the restaurant next door.

When she stepped inside a few people looked at her and her unusual taste in fashion and then looked away. Ivy was already sitting in the corner reading one of her new books that she had purchased at Gotham's 'Barns and Noble'. She had had to practically drag Eve out of that shop and the DVD one. They had actually thought of going to the cinema but then decided against it.

Eve sat down in the seat across from her friend but not without saying something in a happy sing-song voice. "I've got a present for you" she sang happily, placing the box that contained the camera in front of her.

Ivy stared at the box with her mouth open which made Eve wish that the shop could have gift wrapped it.

Ivy didn't say anything but instead leaped across the table and hugged her partner in crime.

Eve just laughed and hugged her back, not caring about the stares they were receiving and sat back in her seat.

"Thank you so much, I feel bad now because I didn't get anything for you!"

"Just let me know that I'm better than that goon that likes 'Sex and the City'" Eve compromised.

"Done"

The girls both ordered their food and chatted as they ate. They talked about everything, home, school, people they knew, TV, Books and music. Anything that they could think of but they were careful not to mention anything Joker related because they were in public and anything could easily be heard.

000

It was beginning to get late and the girls were tired. They were loaded with bags and they wanted to go home, even if that DID include two psycho clowns and a couple of dozen goons.

They were at the bus stop. Ivy was pacing back and forth beginning to get a bit worried and Eve was sitting on the bench nonchalantly while playing around with her phone.

"Since when do I have this number on my phone?" she asked aloud which caused Ivy to jump.

They were the only people there so it didn't really matter if they attracted attention since most people were inside. The weirdo's came out at night in Gotham.

"What number?" Ivy asked.

"The one that just has J written as the name"

"Call it, it could be him"

Eve didn't hesitate and immediately hit the 'call' button.

Ivy watched intently as Eve waited for the person on the other end to pick up. When they did pick up Eve's face broke out in a smile. "Hi" she said awkwardly, to the person on the other end. It oddly reminded her of when Harvey had been in hospital and received a surprise visit from the Joker, dressed as a nurse too.

"Erm...shopping?" Eve answered the unheard question.

"Bus stop...I don't know...erm...I see tree's and a car dealership...I think I see a pimp and a couple of crack whores...oh, and I swear the guy across the street loves rock music cause he has this tough guy, scraggly look going for him."

Ivy listened into Eve's ramblings and burst out laughing but her laughter came to an abrupt halt after she noticed that everything that her friend had said was true. Are we in the Narrows, thought Ivy nervously.

"Okie Doke" Eve said and hung up the phone, "That was Mister J, he is coming to pick us up, I had to describe the place 'cause I don't know where we are"

"So...you were involved in a robbery?" Ivy asked trying to keep talking so her nerves didn't take over.

"Yeah, wasn't caught though, it was really the person I was with, I just watched" Eve said as if she were discussing the weather. Ivy just glanced at Eve and returned to her observation of the street.

A dark shadow was heading towards them but both girls didn't notice. Ivy was too busy watching a junkie buy his dope and Eve was lost inside her head, as usual. It didn't limp; in fact it seemed normal by ways of walking. No face could be seen, until the figure came a few yards close to Ivy. The hooded figure decided to reveal his face at that moment and showed a head of black hair and grey eyes.

"Hey" he finally said, causing Ivy to jump out of her skin.

"Oh my God sorry, you frightened me" Ivy said with a hand to her chest.

"GIMME YOU MONEY!" exclaimed the guy with a knife in his hand.

"BACK OFF PEDO!" Eve screamed, jumping in front of her friend as she did so. She had only seen him talk to her; she hadn't actually heard what he had said.

The stranger raised his knife hand and went to slash at Eve but three gun shots were suddenly heard and the guy raised his eyes before suddenly falling to the ground in a heap. There were three red stains in his back.

Blood.

"HA! Serves you right, bozo" Eve said, walking around the corpse, not caring that the gun shots had come from that very direction.

"I don't know whether ...uh... be angry that you ran off or...ah...be happy that you didn'**t** scream" said a voice from the shadows near Eve.

"Well I like to class myself as a toaster girl" Eve said matter-of-factly.

Ivy gave her a What-The-Hell look and turned back to the shadows just in time to see a figure emerge in the shape of the Joker. She didn't know whether he seemed happy or angry. But one thing was for certain: he was smiling.

Ivy snickered and looked at the ground, trying to avoid the strange looks that she was receiving.

"Come on, you had Harley worried sick and she's worse when she's like that. She's annoying enough as it is" the Joker said as he began to walk through an alley with the girls in tow.

"What's with the toaster thing?" hissed Ivy as they walked towards the van. Steam or fog was hanging around the alleyway and Eve jumped and shrieked after a cat had jump out from under a trash can.

"Cats in the dumpsters or toast popping makes me scream in fear, not a horror movie" Eve replied, trying to keep her voice low.

"And you watch a lot of them don't you, I'd love to see what a shrink would say to you" Ivy commented.

"I had a friend once who got that inky picture test." Pointed out Eve happily.

"What happened?" asked Ivy, beginning to get interested.

"She kept saying that she saw dead people, I wish I had been there, just like the 'Sixth Sense', imagine that"

"I can't remember if I saw that or not"

"well-" began Eve but she was cut off after she crashed into someone taller than her. Then again it wasn't that hard to out-grow Eve, she was one of the smallest in her class, yet average at the same time.

She looked up and saw her kidnapper looking down at her with a smirk.

"Where... did I ge**t** you from?" asked the Joker rhetorically but Eve answered anyway.

"Ireland?"

Ivy rolled her eyes and dragged Eve into the van. Once inside, she shut the door after them and sat down beside Eve once again. The back of the van didn't have any goons this time but they were replaced by the numerous bags that the girls had gotten on their little field trip.

"Oh girls! Thank God we found ya!" came a shriek from the front seat of the van. Harley was staring at them with huge eyes and attempting to climb over the seats to get to the back of the van to the girls.

She succeeded ,eventually, and ran over to the two teens. She went to hug Eve first because she knew that Eve wouldn't care, or be as aggressive as Ivy but she went to hug Ivy anyway who growled viciously and pushed Harley off.

"Where were ya? We looked everywhere" exclaimed the harlequin.

"Shopping!" cried Eve happily, holding up a bag to prove her point.

"How'd ya get the money?"

"Erh..." Eve began, not able to say that she had taken it from the bank heist all of a sudden.

"Stole it" Ivy said quick and trying to put on her best act of nonchalance.

"Where'd ya really get it?" pressed Harley, she was blonde but she wasn't stupid.

"Bank" Ivy admitted.

"Well it's not like you were gonna spend it all in one day and stuff. I think that, in a way ,we were helping you and...yeah" Eve rushed before coming to a halt after not knowing what to say.

"Get anything nice?" Harley quizzed, acting like more of a teenage companion than a crazy kidnapping clown that wanted to be their mother.

"I got Ivy a camera...Oh my God you gotta see these shoes!" Eve declared as she began to rifle through bags.

000

"Can we have a TV?" Eve asked as they came to a stop in front of the hideout.

"Huh?" Said the Joker as they began to walk up to the front doors.

"Well if we are gonna be here for...oh say...forever, we are gonna need TV" Eve pointed out.

"And one of the games she got needs a TV" said Ivy, giving away Eve's real reason for a television. Well, that and the news. They wanted to see the Batman in action.

"We'll see" came the clowns reply.

"But that always means 'no' normally" pointed out Eve with a whine.

At that moment the man in purple decided to pause and turn around so he could look down at Eve. "_Normal__**ly**__"_ he pointed out, "Ya think I'm...uh... normal?"

"Well...no...But I don't like normal 'cause that's too boring" Eve rushed at the end so she didn't anger the man in front of her. He just grinned and repeated the words, "We'll see" again before turning back to walking through the hallway.

"You don't like normal?" Ivy asked incredulously.

"Well some people waste their lives trying to be normal, sometimes they actually are and they just don't know it, I am certain that I'm not normal and I'm not gonna waste my time trying to be. I like being me just fine and if people don't like it, then they can just go and-"

"LANGUAGE!" Harley shouted before Eve could make her colourful comment verbal.

Ivy giggled again.

"What?" Eve asked, not getting the joke.

"You're just funny, especially when you really get into something, then your accent just gets-"

"What?"

"Nothing"

"No tell me!" whined Eve.

"Nah, I rather let you suffer" Ivy said with a smirk.

"You cruel evil person"

"Why thank you"

"THAT'S MY THING!"

"Is there a name on your thing?"

"Sure there is...I wrote it with invisible ink"

It continued like this for the rest of the walk back to their rooms. The two girls quarrelling mindlessly and saying stupid things with getting a laugh out of them anyway. Ivy's room was the quickest way of getting to their rooms so they went in there.

They both went their separate ways and put their things away while listening to Florence and the Machine, courtesy of Ivy.

A half an hour later there was a knock on the door of Ivy's room. Whoever had knocked didn't wait for a response and just walked in. Of course it was the Joker ,of all people, with four goons carrying two televisions.

They hadn't even set down the televisions and Eve was already saying "Does it get Kerrang? MTV? RTE1?Biograhy channel?" Etc etc...

Two goons disappeared into the closet, probably for Eve's room.

Eve stayed in Ivy's room and so did the Joker. Ivy began to fidget uncomfortably but Eve just plopped down onto the bed. She couldn't stay still either so she began to jump on the bed.

"So, how'd it go? Thanks for the TV's BTW! In case you don't know what that means, it means By The Way." Eve said while jumping.

"I know wha**t** i**t** mean**s**" growled the clown.

Ivy obviously didn't like how Eve had just said that without a care in the world. She looked at Eve but Eve pretended as if she hadn't seen it and carried on jumping on the green covered bed.

"You shouldn'**t** have...uh... lef**t** like tha**t** Doll face" said the Joker darkly.

"Sozzy...yes I know, I said sozzy instead of sorry, I do that, but whatever...we wanted to explore and it was cool and we are back and safe so there's no need to worry" Eve declared happily, jumping in circles now.

"I thin**k** it's time tha**t** you were...ah... punished"

"HA!...the last time I was punished I...well it the depends on the punishment" Eve began to muse as she slowed her bouncing until she stopped.

Ivy's eyes had widened. Eve was about to probably get the daylights beaten out of her and she didn't care.

"TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY EVE!" Ivy screamed at her friend.

"Why so serious?" growled a dark voice from behind her.

"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE, TAKE ME HOME YOU CREEP! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE, LOOKING FOR ME AND THEY ARE WORRIED." Ivy yelled as she began to try and hit the Joker's chest. She held back tears but she didn't try and stop, instead she let out her anger on the clown in front of her. He had taken her away and now he was going to try and hurt her friend. She didn't like that. Not one bit.

She went to grab his knife and tried to hurt him with it but he caught her wrist and the two were caught in a battle of 'who could stab who'. They were stuck there for a few minutes, shaking from trying to out-strengthen the other until a slamming noise filled the room.

"Mistah J! What on Earth do you think you're doing?" screeched Harley from the doorway. It must have looked highly unusual to see the Joker battling with a teenager over a knife.

Ivy had been distracted by this and turned her head to glare at Harley but it had been too late. That one distraction had given her opponent the upper hand and Ivy drew in a breath.

There was a handle of a knife sticking out of Ivy's stomach.

Everything froze.

Ivy drew in a breath and her eyes widened. Eve screamed and ran over to Ivy. The two clowns stayed in place just watching the commotion going on in front of them.

"Here let me-" Harley began as she made to move forward.

"FUCK OFF!" roared Eve in a venomous voice that she hardly ever used unless she was really pissed off. But for the first time since she had used that tone, she had never used it for the emotion running through her now. She was scared. She didn't want to be alone. She hated being alone. She liked quite rooms and getting lost in her thoughts, sure, but one of the things that kept her going and kept her breezing through tough situations or saying things to the Joker that most people wouldn't, was the knowledge that she had people surrounding her, people to fall back on. Well Ivy needed her now and she was gonna be there for her. And her friend not only hated Harley but she would have gotten in the way and Eve just didn't want her around right now. So she had snapped. Plain and simple.

Ivy was on her knee's now and Eve had her arms around her. She didn't even think of what she was doing, she just stood up and grabbed the Joker by the arm and pushed him out the door along with Harley.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" she screamed at the before slamming the door in Harley's shocked face and the Jokers grinning one. She quickly locked the door and then ran into her own room to lock her door and pushed her bed in front of it so no one could get in. She then returned to Ivy's room and did the same with her bed.

She came back to Ivy who just looked like she was in shock.

"I don't feel anything" she whispered.

"No don't say that, you can pull through, here, let me help" Eve said as tears welled up in her eyes. She grabbed the handle of the knife and pulled it out of her friend.

Ivy grunted in pain. "I felt that" she said with a bit of anger, yet happy anger.

"See?" Eve laughed through the tears.

"I don't feel weak, but I don't feel anything" Ivy said in a strong voice, as if she hadn't been stabbed.

Eve gazed down at the wound which was beginning to heal at a rapid pace. Both girls' eyes widened at this extraordinary happening.

"Well I guess you don't see that everyday" muttered Eve with a smile.

"This is gonna be fun" agreed Ivy.

**I wrote over ten pages people!  
I never did that before!  
Sorry for grammar mistakes but once again this was rushed and it's not like I've studied grammar in college, I'm only doing my junior certificate next year!  
Don't forget!**

**REVIEW!  
Or Eve will come after you with her new knife!**


	8. Cleaning Up Your Mess

Eve was grinning into space while Ivy was looking at her stomach.

"Blood. Ew." She mumbled as she got some on her fingers and rubbed it on Eve's nose.

"No! Ah, that's how diseases are spread!" Eve screamed.

"I don't have diseases." Ivy mumbled. Then she looked down again. "TOO MUCH BLOOD!"

"You're not scared of blood are you?" Eve asked.

"No. I'm straight up gangster." Ivy grinned as she walked towards Eve's bathroom.

"What are we going to tell Mr J and Harley?" Eve asked as she watched Ivy wipe the blood off her body using a wet cloth.

"I liked this T-Shirt." Ivy muttered. "Mr Evil Clown and Little Miss Annoying Clown can buy me a new one."

"Answer my question." Eve said in a sing song voice.

"I have an idea." Ivy smiled. "But first…. IT'S RAINING!" She began flicking water at Eve and laughed. "Oh, look raining indoors! Oh it's magic!"

"What's your idea, ginger?" Eve laughed as she ran back into her room.

"Pretend I'm dead. Cry and stuff." Ivy smirked as she followed her friend into the room and lay on the floor.

"Think of dead kittens. Think of dead kittens." Eve muttered to herself as she pulled the bed out of the way of the door. She stood in front of the door for a second before pulling it open.

Harley Quinn was standing opposite biting her nails. Eve ran up to her and cried into her chest.

"Ivy's dead." She sobbed. The Joker came down the hallway with a smirk. "You killed my best friend!"

"Friend's are _useless _any way." The Joker smirked as he walked into Eve's room.

"She wasn't useless!" Eve yelled as she followed the Joker.

"But now you have our… uh… our _undivided _attention." The Joker said as he leant over Ivy. Eve and Harley watched as the Joker's face came closer and closer to Ivy's face.

Then Ivy's eyes snapped open and she grabbed the Joker's green hair.

"Try to kill me will you!" She screamed as she slammed her head into the Joker's. Ivy's plan backfired when the Joker was unfazed by the head butt and grabbed Ivy's throat. He slammed her into the nearest wall causing Eve to let out a small scream.

"Aren't you supposed to be… uh… dead?" The Joker asked.

"Funny story that…" Ivy muttered. The grip on her neck got tighter, squeezing her windpipe and making it hard for her to breathe.

"Are you wearing a stab proof vest?" Harley asked.

"She won't be able to answer while you're strangling her." Eve pointed out. The Joker let go of Ivy and she took a deep breath.

"Do… you believe… in… erm… magic?" Ivy panted. "I can saw Eve in half as well. I'm a magician."

"I can make a pencil disappear." Eve mumbled. The Joker yanked up Ivy's t shirt and saw a small scar, the size of his switch blade, on her stomach.

"I honestly have no idea how this happened." Ivy said. "Maybe it's a super power!"

"That's not fair." Eve sulked. "I want a super power. Wait maybe I can fly."

"Please don't try." Ivy begged as she straightened her T-Shirt.

"There's blood on her clothes." Harley pointed out. "Crane's coming around. I want to show off my pretty little girls but not ones covered in blood."

"One can hear you!" Ivy yelled.

"You sounded so English then!" Eve gushed.

"I didn't mean it like that." Ivy muttered.

"Wait… Crane as in Jonathan Crane?" Eve grinned. "Oh I'm in love with him!"

"He's the scary guy with the fear toxin." Ivy stated. "Joy."

"He just needs a hug." Eve smiled.

"He is rather…" Ivy blushed not finishing her sentence.

"Sexy." Eve finished. "A big ball of Irish hotness on a stick of sexiness..."

"Change your clothes! Get changed into your dresses!" Harley ordered as she dragged the Joker out of the room.

Ivy and Eve did as they were told.

Eve got all dolled up and looked beautiful while Ivy put on the dress, an over sized hoodie she stole off one of her male friends and her dirty converse.

"Why aren't you dressed up?" Eve asked her friend with a small frown. "Crane's coming over."

"I'm not looking to make a good impression on an evil criminal." Ivy muttered as she watched Eve put on some pretty shoes.

"He's a _gorgeous_ evil criminal though." Eve pointed out with a smirk. "Just give him a hug and he'll be all sunshine and rainbows."

"I highly doubt that." Ivy mumbled as she crossed her arms. Eve looked over at her and noticed even though Ivy was acting as if she didn't care she had put on foundation and the tiniest bit of mascara.

"Just take off the jacket and no one gets hurt." Eve said.

"Who'll get hurt?" Ivy scoffed.

"You, now take off the god damn jacket." Eve growled. Ivy's eyes widened and she quickly threw the jacket on the floor. "Good girl." Eve smiled.

"We have guests!" Harley voice yelled. Eve smiled and done a weird sort of happy dance. Ivy grabbed her new camera and pulled the strap over her head and let the camera dangle on her chest.

Once they found the room where the Joker, Harley and Jonathan Crane were Eve ran over to Crane and wrapped her arms around him. Ivy stood in the door way biting her lip.

"I don't… do children." Jonathan said as he pried Eve off of him.

"Eve please." Ivy snapped. Eve giggled and leapt back. Jonathan looked over at Ivy who blushed and looked down.

"So these are the hostages I see." Jonathan smiled.

"We see them more as children." Harley beamed. Ivy snorted and by now was taking photographs of every one in the room.

"You can't legally adopt them with a criminal record." Jonathan pointed out.

"Why not?" Eve yelled.

"Wait…" Ivy mumbled. "Even after he tried to kill me you still want him to be your father?"

"He's the Joker!" Eve grinned. "He dresses in purple and he's … just awesome!"

"He stabbed me." Ivy muttered, ignoring the fact every one was watching her. She was looking at her camera and trying not to cry.

"Go get adopted by Jonathan then." Eve said.

"Maybe I will." Ivy muttered.

"I'm not ready for that." Crane said.

"No wait Crane's mine!" Eve gasped. Ivy carried on looking through the photographs on her camera. "So you'd rather have some man who plays with a chemistry set over the Joker who blows shit up!"

"I wouldn't want either." Ivy said. "I don't want a father who is a criminal."

"Why not?" Eve smiled.

"You're acting like this is all a big game!" Ivy yelled. "Theses are dangerous people! They can her every word we're saying!" With that Ivy stormed out of the room.

"Give her ten minutes and she'll calm down." Eve muttered.

Later on that night Ivy walked back into the room she left Eve in after taking photographs of just about everything she could find.

"Eve's drunk." Harley giggled to Ivy as she walked through the door.

"I love you Ivy." Eve slurred with a smile.

"Oh my gosh, I can't be bothered with this." Ivy muttered as she went to walk out of the room. The Joker grabbed her upper arm so she couldn't leave.

"We have a guest don't be rude." He hissed. A goon walked into the room to give something to Harley but Eve grabbed his arm.

"I'll own you one day." She nodded before letting the poor man go.

"You're drunk Eve." The Joker growled, finally getting tired of her.

"You're sexy." Eve giggled back.

"Go to your room." Harley yelled.

"Don't be angry at me!" Eve screamed. "When we were shopping Ivy called you all a bunch of evil freaks!"

"What?" Harley, The Joker and Ivy snapped.

"I swear down I never." Ivy said as she backed up. Harley reached forward and yanked the camera from her hands.

"You don't deserve to have this." She screamed as she threw it to the floor.

"NO!" Ivy cried as she tried to grab it. Crane grabbed her wrists and pulled her back up so she couldn't reach the camera.

"Please don't!" Ivy begged. "That's the only thing that is keeping the boredom from getting me suicidal."

"Too bad." The Joker smirked. Harley slammed her stiletto's heel down into the camera smashing the lens.

"Noooo!" Ivy cried. Eve swallowed and leant forward.

"No. Stop." She slurred but Harley kept smashing her feet down on the camera when she finished Ivy collapsed onto her knee's by the camera.

"She wanted to be a photographer real bad." Eve muttered. Ivy hid her face in her hands.

"You bitch!" She yelled at Harley. The Joker grabbed her and pulled her to her feet. He yanked her hands down from her eyes and burst out laughing when he saw tears falling down her cheeks.

"You wanted to be a photographer?" He asked with fake care in his tone. He nodded and licked his lips. "Were you going to be a star? Were you going to be famous?"

Harley began giggling uncontrollably.

"Don't be a nasty pasty!" Eve yelled as she tried to pull the Joker off of her friend but he just gave her a shove and she landed on her butt.

"Did you want to have your name up in lights?" The Joker laughed as he leant in closer to Ivy. "Were you going to be so amazing that every one would love you and be astounded by your work? How much money were you going to make? Hundreds or thousands?"

Harley had tears falling from her eyes with laughter and even Crane had begun to chuckle. Eve glared at them and made a mental note to rip off the Jokers head later.

"I was lying." She said but no one listened.

"You, Ivy, are an idiot. Not a photographer. You're not talented at all. You're just a useless teenager. If you want to be known be like me… be a freak." The Joker growled. He licked his lips then spat in her face.

He began laughing again and walked out of the room with Harley and Crane following.

"Oh my God Ivy are you OK?" Eve asked. Ivy wiped her face and glared at Eve.

"Just leave me alone." She sobbed.

"I'm sorry I-" Eve began to say.

"I said: leave me fucking alone!" Ivy half screamed half sobbed as she ran out of the room. Eve sighed and followed her friend.

"I'm sorry!" She yelled. Ivy ignored her and charged into her room and slammed the door behind her.

Eve walked into her room and then into the wardrobe which connected her and Ivy's room. Ivy was in there already grabbing a shoebox from under a pile of clothes.

"Useless, useless, useless!" She wailed as she tipped the contents of the box onto the floor.

"IVY CALM DOWN!" Eve screamed hoping that would scare her friend enough to calm her down. That didn't help at all. Ivy sat on the floor next to the contents of the box.

Eve then realised the box was full of photographs. She sighed and began to pick them up but Ivy had already began ripping them up.

"Ivy, you're going to regret this, please stop." Eve growled.

"I'm just stupid aren't I?" Ivy screamed. "Stupid Ivy. Stupid useless teenager."

"You're not stupid." Eve said fighting back tears. "The Joker was wrong."

"WRONG?" Ivy yelled in fake amazement. "Look at that! Eve is saying the Joker is wrong! I'm surprised you said a bad word about him. You seem to worship him most of the time!"

"I don't!" Eve snapped. "Look, prove the Joker wrong! Be a great photographer!"

"With what camera?" Ivy snapped. "Look just piss off! Go get drunk and play happy families with a bunch of psychopaths."

She stormed back into her room and slammed the door in Eve's face.

It must have been early hours of the morning when Ivy finally stopped screaming at the walls and fell asleep on her bed.

Eve, meanwhile, was sitting on her bed trying to fix Ivy's photos with sticky tape.

00

The next morning Eve was up nice and early. She walked around the hide out until she found Harley Quinn.

"Hello." Eve said.

"Hello sugar plum!" Harley smiled.

"Yeah, can you take me out? I want to buy Ivy a new camera." Eve said, crossing her fingers behind her back. Harley frowned and crossed her arms.

"Why should I? Ivy called me and my Mr J freaks." She pouted. Eve smiled and tried not to roll her eyes.

"She never. I was lying, I'm sorry!" Eve said. "Plus it will be great mother daughter bonding time. You know… you… me… a couple screaming hostages. Yeah, good times!" Harley thought about it for a second before a big smile crossed her face.

"Sure!" She grinned.

"I'll go get my shoes on." Eve smiled before running back down the corridor.

00

Ivy was sitting on her bed reading a book when Eve knocked on her door and walked in.

"You OK?" Eve asked.

"Fine, why wouldn't I be?" Ivy asked with out looking up from her book.

"What are you reading?" Eve asked, changing the subject.

"A book." Ivy mumbled.

"Harley and I are going out. Are you going to be OK here with the Joker?" Eve said.

"Yeah sure why wouldn't I be? He's only the most dangerous clown alive." Ivy muttered. Eve began to laugh but when Ivy didn't she stopped.

"OK bye." She grinned before leaving the room. She spun around and saw the Joker walking towards her.

"Where are you and Harley going?" He asked.

"To clean up your mess." Eve hissed before storming past him.

00

"Choose any one you'd like honey." Harley smiled at Eve as she kicked another hostage down. Eve stood in front of a row of big professional cameras and bit her nail.

"I don't know what the difference is!" She muttered. She smiled and grabbed one. "The most expensive one seems good."

She smiled at Harley and gave her a hug.

"Thanks Mammy." She giggled. People began to gasp and whisper. "Awkward." Eve mumbled.

00

Ivy had her headphones on full blast as she walked across the kitchen. She was only there to grab food and then shoot back up to her room. Of course not many things were going right for her lately.

Her headphones were yanked out of her ears. She hissed and switched off her music player. She turned around and saw the Joker grinning at her.

"Alright?" She asked before trying to leave.

"You're not… uh… _over_ last night yet?" The Joker asked.

"I'm fine." Ivy snapped as she tried to walk away.

"Pop quiz!" The Joker grinned as he followed her out of the room. "If Eve died what would you do?"

"If I can't die then neither can Eve." Ivy muttered.

"What if she picked _us _over _you?_" He asked.

"She wouldn't." Ivy muttered.

"Oh but she already has." The Joker smiled. "While you were walking around the hideout where was she? She was getting drunk with us."

"I don't care." Ivy lied as she walked into her room. The Joker followed her in and leant against her wall.

"How do I make Eve cry?" The Joker asked as Ivy sat down on her bed and glared at him.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? Unlike you I don't take delight in other peoples suffering." Ivy snapped. The Joker threw a heavy book at her which narrowly missed her head.

"Well we already know how to make you cry don't we? Just break one of your toys." The Joker smirked. Ivy glared at him and leant back against the wall. It was going to be a long day.

00

"Ivy, I got you something." Eve yelled as she skipped down the hallway. In her hand was a large box wrapped in shiny purple wrapping paper. She came to a stop when she got into Ivy's room.

Ivy had her head in her hands and the Joker was leaning over her laughing.

"What did you do?" Eve growled.

"I didn't do anything!" The Joker laughed. "Ivy cries too easily."

"I'm not crying." Ivy yelled.

"I always have to clean up your mess!" Eve growled putting the box on the floor and walking over to her friend.

"I'm fine." Ivy said.

"Ivy thinks you can't die." The Joker stated. His hand went in his pocket as he glared at Eve. "Let's test out that theory."

Suddenly he had a gun out and pointing at Eve. Before any one could say anything the Joker had shot her three times in the stomach. She gasped and fell to the floor.

"Ivy can clean up this mess, Eve." He smirked before leaving the room.

00

Sweeney. Sparrow. Joker. Love: Yay! I'm sorry that took so long.

Yeah…

REVIEW!

3


	9. Paddy and Missy English

The room was in complete silence. Ivy stared down at a motionless Eve.

"Oh...oh...oh..oooohh FUCK!" she yelled, "This can't happen, DONT YOU DARE LEAVE ME!" she screamed at Eve's body. She walked forward to take a closer look.

Eve was still her normal colour, her eyes were closed and one arm was on the floor while the other rested on her stomach which seemed to be turning red with blood. Her face looked peaceful, as if she were sleeping.

Ivy moved in closer to examine but ended up letting out a scream as Eve jerked upward into a sitting position. A look of tiredness (or pain) crossed Eves features and she put a hand to her head as if she had woken up too early or had a headache… then again she had just been shot.

A bullet fell out of her mouth. She looked up at Eve and spat another one at her.

"OUCH!" Ivy said sarcastically.

"Well you try being shot!"

"Try being stabbed!"

"Touchè" Eve muttered.

Ivy rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the mood. She had been stabbed the day before and had her camera crushed along with some of the most hurtful things said to her and to top it all off she had just seen her only companion in this situation with her got shot!

Eve let the last bullet fall into her hand and looked down at it curiously before trying to bite it. She made a look of pain and spat it out again to see that no teeth marks were on the bullet.

"You think this would look nice on a necklace?" Eve asked nonchalantly.

"A necklace? NECKLACE? You new 'dad' just shot you and all you care about is a necklace?" Ivy exclaimed, using quotations with her fingers for the word 'dad'.

"Let's go Joker hunting!" Eve said happily as she lifted herself from the ground. She didn't wait for Ivy to respond and just walked out the door. Ivy didn't follow her, she just couldn't bring herself to do so this time.

Eve didn't take any notice and began to walk around the hide out without her English friend. She found Harley in the kitchen, cooking a lasagne by the look of it.

"That better be vegetarian" Eve commented from behind Harley. The clown jumped and turned to face Eve with a hand to her chest.

"You frightened me hun" Harley replied still as chirpy as ever, "What's wrong?" she asked after eve began to make a sad face, if there was one thing that Eve Harper was good at, it was a face. She had been in stage shows she was four and knew exactly how to lie or get what she wanted, using the guilt card of course.

"Daddy J shot me." Eve fake sniffed. She looked as if she were about to cry.

"Mistah J is this true?" she asked in disbelief to a figure that had been reading the newspaper. Eve hadn't noticed them before and widened her eyes when she found out that it was the Joker.

"I was teaching Ivy to clean messes, Paddy here shouldn't have to clean all the time"

"It was your mess actually and don't call me Paddy, you..you...you...stereotyper!"

"Mistah J, you know that she is my favourite!" Harley protested. Eve smirked as she looked at the Joker and placed a hand on her hip. She was playing off them and he knew it so he couldn't help but smirk back at her.

"You know, I think that she is becoming my favourite too." He said.

"Gee, thanks" came a voice from the doorway. Ivy was standing there with a sarcastic expression on her face.

"Don't take it personally Doll Face, you're fun to mess with"

"Oh I'm feeling the love in the room right now. Too bad it's not aimed at me" Ivy retorted, sticking to her sarcasm, "After everything that we've been through J!"

"What?" Harley shrieked.

"Oh you know, last night. Good times. You're good, very good" Ivy winked at the clown with the newspaper who still only remained smiling at the three women in front of him.

"Oh and what am I the bit on the side?" Cried Eve, randomly. Part of her had understood Ivy's motive and she wanted to back her up completely but another side of her just wanted to say something funny. Since she had come here she had acted the exact opposite of what she was like at home in Ireland. At home she was quite and cautious but here she was loud enough and reckless. She pretended to be pissed and stormed out of the room with Ivy on her heels.

Ivy couldn't help but smirk as they headed towards their rooms.

Once inside they plopped down onto the floor of their joining closet and crossed their legs. Eve grabbed a bottle of Irn Bru and a bottle of vanilla coke along with a few bags of jellys and other assorted junk foods.

She handed Ivy the Irn Bru and began to open her coke.

"Suckers" they said in unison. Both girls burst out laughing.

"Did you see her face?" Ivy cackled before nearly falling to the floor with laughter.

"Haha yeah! I think it was something like this!" Eve stated before doing a perfect imitation of Harley's reaction.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!" roared Harley from their doorway. She put a whole new meaning to 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.

She tried to lunge on Ivy but Ivy dodged her, "Jeez, you live with the Joker and you can't take a joke?"

"Last night he taught us how to clean up messes and who does what, and he was very good at it! He was excellent parenting skills" Eve commented happily.

"Yeah like shooting the kids" Ivy muttered.

"Are you okay? Did something happen before, do you want to talk?" Eve asked the clown woman sincerely.

On the inside, Ivy was scoffing.

"No, I'm okay sugar, I'm just protective of my family, you two and Mistah J are what I need." Harley said, mostly to her self. She turned on her heel and left, leaving the two girls to stare at each other in silence until it was broken by Eve making a whipping noise and imitation.

Eve giggled at Ivy.

"I have something for ya Red" Eve said happily. She turned around and rummaged inside a press that was behind her. She pulled out a shoebox and handed it to Ivy, "I told you that you would regret it".

Ivy took the box and opened it. She stared down at the pictures that she had ripped after the Joker had crushed her camera. Eve had stayed up all night taping them back together. Ivy smiled down at the box and looked back up at Eve.

"Thanks." She said before she pulled in Eve in a hug.

"Yay hug!" Eve squealed. "I got something else for ya too!" Eve cried after the hug had ended. She got up and went into Ivy room again. She came back a second later with a box wrapped in purple wrapping paper and handed it to Ivy. She held it out to Ivy but snatched it back just before adding, "Just mind me if I get drunk again please".

Ivy rolled her eyes and took the box. She began to hastily rip the wrapping paper and stood at the box in wide eyed shock.

"You don't like it? Well I'm sorry but that was the most expensive and I thought...Oh don't hate me please!"

"Shut up!" Ivy snapped and looked back at the camera, "Eve, you are definitely one of the most reckless idiotic immature...best most loyal and awsomeest friend ever!"

"You like it?"

"I LOVE it! The MOST expensive?"

"Yeah yeah, what ya wanna do?" Eve asked.

"Up to you"

"How about...Truth or Dare?" Eve replied with her best 'doom' voice.

"Fine, you ask first"

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Do you REALY hate Mister J and Harls." Eve asked curiously, letting her accent become more pronounced.

"Well I actually sorta love the Joker"

"Is that why you don't like Harley?" Eve pressed.

"Well...that's more than one question it's your turn!"

"Fine."

"Alright then miss high and mighty, truth or dare?"

"Dare"

"I dare you, to let me paint you as Harley"

"Fine but one problem."

"What's that?"

"Where do we get the paint?"

"They probably have it"

"So we have to get it don't we? Thought so" Eve said before getting up again and walking into her room and picking up her IPod.

"What are you doing?" Ivy asked.

"If we are going to sneak it, we need them to think that we re here and what better way to distract than blast music?" Eve replied and let 'Blender' by The Pretty Reckless begin to play on her dock station.

Ivy rolled her eyes and led Eve to the door and stepped out into the hallway. The coast was clear. "You can still back out of this dare you know"

"Listen missy English, but I don't know if you know that Eve Harper ever backs out of a dare"

Ivy ignored Eve with a smirk and began to walk down the corridor.

"How do we know where the clown's room is?" Ivy whispered loudly as they hid behind a corner after spotting a few henchmen walking around.

"Easy, it will probably have some things written up like "Mistah J's room"or "Puddin" or "Why so serious-ah"" Eve replied, doing an excellent imitation of their voices.

Once the henchmen had gone, the girls went around the corner and continued down the hallway. They eventually came across a door as Eve had predicted. Ivy couldn't help but glance at Eve smiled at the door and rocked back and forth on her heels in anticipation.

Ivy looked around before opening the door. The room looked like any psychopathic clowns would. It reminded her of Eves in a way but instead of a wall of characters, there was a white wall with newspaper cuttings that had been scribbled upon.

"Over here!" Eve whispered from the bed side table. Ivy went over to her and saw that the greasepaint was on the bedside table. She picked it up and hurriedly left the room with Eve on her heels.

They were so busy trying to stay quiet and get back too their room fast, that they didn't notice the pair of eyes that had been watching them.

000

"Stay still" Ivy complained as she tried to apply the black paint.

"I am!"

"No you're not, stop eating"

"You, try the awesomeness of a gummy bear!"

Ivy sighed and Eve put down the bag of jellies.

"There" Ivy said, "Finished at last"

Eve grabbed the white paint and tried to put some on Ivy but Ivy ducked.

"What are you doing?"

"It's your turn!"

"But you didn't dare me."

"Well I am daring you now, chicken"

Ivy threw Eve a venomous look and reluctantly replied, "Fine"

Eve plastered the white paint onto Ivy's face sloppily but that was what she was going for. She couldn't exactly picture the Joker applying his paint in the morning, trying to get everything one hundred percent perfect.

Next, she applied the black paint which was shortly followed by the red.

"Voila!" she cried dramatically "Now I'm gonna get some Harley clothes!"

"You have Harley clothes?"

"I have my red shoes and top and a pair of blank jeans, Now hurry up and get your Joker clothes"

"What makes you think that I have Joker clothes? I like when my clothes don't clash to be honest!"

"Because you were a fan before you came here, you have his T-Shirts AND I saw the shoes, now get!" Eve scolded in her Irish accent making her sound like an old fashioned mother with a wooden spoon.

Ivy left the room and stepped into her closet and Eve followed her. Eve grabbed her clothes and headed straight towards the bathroom as Ivy did the same.

Eve came out a while later in black and red with her hair in two pigtails as Ivy came out in a pair off purple jeans with a green top and brown shoes. She seemed to have tousled her hair and Eve gave her a thumbs up in approval.

Ivy smiled at Eve and Eve giggled pretending to be a girly girl and looked at the floor while moving her foot around as if she were shy.

"Oh Puddin'" she said in Harleys voice.

Ivy had to try her best not to laugh and decided to play along, "Wanna know how I got these scars?"

"Oh I am totally in love with you Mistah J" Eve said as she rushed up to Ivy and pretended to flirt.

"My only goal in life is to cause chaos!"

"And my goal is to be madly obsessed over J!"

The door banged open and the girls jumped.

"Shit" whispered Ivy.

"Fudge?" Eve squeaked as if it were a question.

"Well well, wha**t** have we go**t** he**re**"

"A goon told us that two girls had been in our room, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you girls?" Harley asked the two girls themselves, who were staring at the floor. Eve was the first to look up.

"Heya mammy" she said with a big smile on her face which revealed her teeth.

"Awww" Harley cooed, "Look Mistah J they just wanna be like us, come here sugar"

Eve inwardly shrugged and went over to Harley to give her a hug. Ivy's fear was beginning to fade as the Joker told her to look at him.

"Look at me!" he repeated.

"Look at me" Ivy copied.

"Stop copying me!" he replied in a dangerous voice.

"Why so serious?" Ivy questioned.

The Joker growled angrily and slammed Ivy up against a wall. Ivy laughed, he was angry for her trying to be more like him? Her so-called foster father.

The Joker took her laugh into account and put her down, "I'm beginning to like this one now" he said over his shoulder to Harley.

"We should take a picture" Harley said to Eve.

"I'll get a camera! "Eve exclaimed before running off into the closet. She shortly returned with Ivy's new camera and handed it to Harley. Ivy twitched.

"Thanks hun, come on Ivy, stand beside your sister!"

Ivy went over to stand beside Eve. It was weird for her to hear that Eve was her sister, she still had to get used to that.

Eve wrapped her arms around Ivy and posed for the picture. Ivy laughed and joined in the fun as Harley began to take the pictures.

"Hey shorty, let the other one get some camera." The Joker said to Eve.

"Clown"

"Leprichaun"

"Brokeback"

The Joker didn't know how to respond to this name and Ivy was in the stitches laughing so they returned to they went on for nearly an hour until eventually the girls started to yawn and they were told to go to bed.

"Nighty night girls" called Harley before eventually closing the door.

The girls went into their bathrooms and got ready for bed.

"Can I have a sleepover in your room tonight?" Eve asked Ivy in her pyjamas with her dog teddy and her blanket and pillow.

"Okay"

"Thanks, it still needs some getting used to, you ever miss home?" Eve asked as she set her blankets down onto the ground and began to get comfortable. Ivy got into bed and turned around to Eve.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever miss home? I do sometimes when I think about it a lot. I miss my brother annoying me and my sisters bitchiness. And my dog and my room. My friend Brandon is probably on his holiday now with his uncle. It's funny in a way I guess, I told him that I wanted to see the city and here I am. In Gotham" Eve told Ivy.

Ivy looked at Eve. That was probably one of the most sanest things that she had said since they had arrived here. Ivy knew at that moment that there was more to Eve than what met the eye.

"I miss it too" Ivy agreed quietly.

They stayed up for a while just chatting until eventually they fell asleep.


	10. School Transvestites

Eve leapt up and down on Ivy's bed until the young girl woke up.

"What? Eve! What?" Ivy hissed. "I was dreaming about taking over the world."

"I can't sleep." Eve said as she lay next to her friend.

"Why?" Ivy asked. Then there was a bang against the wall and the sound of groans.

"That's why." Eve whispered.

"EW!" Ivy almost screamed as she pulled the covers over hers and Eve's head.

"They've been at it for ages." Eve said.

"Well… we don't know who it is. Our minds haven't been tainted with terrible images yet." Ivy pointed out. After a few seconds they heard high pitch screams.

"JOKER!" The screams cried.

"Oh God." Ivy muttered. She rolled over and fell out of the bed on purpose.

"Where are you going?" Eve asked. Ivy slammed her fist on the wall but the screams blocked the noise out. She sighed and walked over to the closet. Eve followed with the duvet still wrapped around her.

"She's going to be sore in the morning." Ivy said as she switched her speakers on.

"Ivy that's disgusting." Eve snapped as Ivy made sure the music wasn't loud enough for any one else to hear.

"I can see it in your eyes Eve." Ivy smirked. "You're dying to know how big little joker is."

"No." Eve snapped.

"You can't keep up the sweet innocent Irish girl act forever. I can see through you!" Ivy teased. "I can see you just want the Joker to…."

"LA LA LA LA LA!" Eve yelled blocking out Ivy's sentence. When Eve stopped Ivy was still talking.

"…. Over and over and over again. Like a never ending cycle of…" Ivy said. Eve continued to block out her friend.

"… Upside down." Ivy finished as Eve took her hands off her ears.

"What goes on in your head, I'll never know." Eve muttered.

00

The next day Eve and Ivy sat at the table ready to drop. Neither of them had slept all night. Eve hadn't bothered to put any make up on and was looking less dressy up then usual. Ivy was wearing a pair of glasses as well as an oversized hoodie.

"I didn't know you wore glasses." Harley said to Ivy as she sat opposite her.

"I'm short sighted." Ivy muttered. "I'm meant to wear them all the time but I only put them on when I'm too tired to function."

"You tired? Didn't you get any sleep?" Harley asked.

"No!" Eve yelled. "We didn't you dirty bitch!"

"What?" Harley asked, suddenly wishing the Joker was in the room.

"We heard you!" Eve yelled. "Oh Joker! Harder! Yes! Yes! That's it! Uhh! Joker! Joker! Harder!"

"What…" The Joker's voice muttered as he walked in.

"Hey Eve." Ivy smiled.

"Yeah?" Eve asked.

"Run for your life." Ivy laughed. Eve nodded and tried run out of the room as fast as she could. The Joker grabbed her arm and pushed her back in the room.

"I don't want another sister." Eve yelled. "Ivy is enough."

"This 'family' makes me feel suicidal." Ivy muttered.

"Invest in sound proof walls." Eve snapped.

"Eve is just jealous because she wants the Joker to stick his big-" Ivy began to say but was drowned out by Eve.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA!" Eve screamed.

"…over and over again."

"LA LA!"

"… then forcing his…."

"LA LA LA!"

"…while blood pours…."

"LA LA LA!"

"… With a lemur watching."

"Ivy you are one fucked up kid." The Joker said. "You're my new favourite."

"Boo yah!" Ivy grinned as she slapped her hands down on the table.

"I don't want the one who makes fun of my… noises." Harley muttered.

"You people disgust me." Eve muttered.

"You love me really." Ivy said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around her friend.

"No!" Eve snapped. "You are off my Christmas list."

"Good thing you're both up early any way." The Joker said. "You're both going to school."

Ivy burst out laughing and walked over to the Joker.

"Good joke... you had me there." She laughed. Then she saw the Joker's serious face and she nearly began to cry. "You're joking right... tell me you're joking... WHY AREN'T YOU JOKING! YOU'RE THE JOKER! YOU'RE MEANT TO JOKE!"

"School? Really? Yes! I'm going to get an education!" Eve asked happily.

"I'm not going." Ivy yelled. Then she saw the Joker glaring at her and she took a few steps back.

"You don't have a choice." The Joker said.

"Yes. Me and Mr J need some alone time." Harley said.

"Then send us to a play area!" Ivy snapped.

"How old are you?" Eve asked with a shake of the head.

"I'm not going to school." Ivy said with her arms crossed.

00

The school was huge and Ivy felt like she was going to throw up. Eve on the other hand was jumping up and down in her seat.

"No one's going to like me." Ivy frowned. "Don't make me go in. I'll do anything! I'll rob a bank! I'll catch Batman."

"Come on, silly goose." Eve smiled as she pulled Ivy out of the van.

"I'll have a panic attack." Ivy moaned as she was pulled towards the school.

"We'll get an education and have fun!" Eve smiled.

"I can't believe you dressed like that for our first day of school." Ivy hissed as they walked through the main doors.

Eve looked down at what she was wearing and raised an eyebrow. She was wearing a pair of shorts with one red and one yellow knee high socks. She wore a black tank top and a pink waist coat. Along with a tie which Ivy suspected was the Joker's.

"You look like a clown puked on you." Ivy sighed. "And they're my shorts!"

"You look normal." Eve spat as she looked at her friend who wore a purple hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans.

"Are you the new girls?" A voice said. The two girls spun around and saw a tall blonde haired girl smiling at them.

"Yes." Eve said happily.

"I'm Marty." The overly happy girl smiled. "I'll be showing you around today."

"Oh joy." Ivy muttered sarcastically as Eve dragged her over to Marty.

"What lessons do you have first?" The blonde asked.

"Maths." Eve smiled.

"Kill me now." Ivy frowned.

"Wait... if you're sisters then why are you Irish and you are English." Marty asked.

"Because we just are." Ivy snapped. She wasn't happy about being sent to school at all.

"Because Ivy here has mental problems." Eve smiled.

"But since your hair is red shouldn't..." Marty tried to say, pointing to Ivy but giving up and putting her hand down after Ivy glared at her.

"So...Math's, any idea where we are going?" Eve chirped, rocking back on her heels with a smile plastered on her face.

"Erh...sure, I'll help you around the school for the day" Marty said awkwardly, glancing between the two 'sisters' with her arms crossed firmly on her books which she held tightly to her chest.

She had bleached blonde hair that was a bit dry looking, which fell down her back a bit TOO straight. Her make-up seemed a bit orange to be natural and everything about her screamed 'girly' or 'pink' which caused Ivy to hate her even more. She was tall, but that could have been her heels. Her heels may have been long but her skirt certainly wasn't. It was so short; April Rhodes wouldn't be able to shoplift with it.

"And here we go!" Eve said a bit like the Joker. Ivy just rolled her eyes and continued to follow the personified Barbie.

Math turned out to be hell. Eve got frustrated. A first she raised her hand for the teacher and tried to laugh it off but Ivy actually got scared of Eve for once. Ivy thought that Eve was going to smash her calculator, which she did in the end. The class all looked in their direction after they heard the sound of the calculator shattering. They looked away after Ivy glared at them and Eve looked in a different direction, scratching her ear with a pencil.

As soon as the bell rang and everyone began to shuffle out of the classroom, Eve took her time packing her bags and Ivy whispered, "What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" Eve asked innocently, slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking out of the room, forcing Ivy to follow behind her. Ivy was actually getting kind of sick of that.

"Your little anger management thing in the middle of class!"

Eve spun around, trying to hold back her flaming temper, "I do NOT have an anger management problem" Eve gritted out through her teeth, "and even if I DID would you blame be"

"Gee Eve, that has got to be the most sane thing I have ever heard you say!"

Eve closed her eyes and tried to get a bit of self control and resumed her walk to their next class. Ivy rolled her eyes and sat down at the back of the room with Eve who dumped her books on the table which caused a huge BANG to ring out across the room.

Marty walked in and gave the girls a WTF look.

Eve ignored her and began to draw mindlessly inside her notebook as Ivy gave her a wave and got her books out. The teacher walked in as soon as the class room was full and looked around

"Ah, two new girls! Would you like to come up here and introduce yourselves?"

Ivy inwardly groaned and got up with Eve following in tow.

"I'm Eve and I don't have an anger management problem" Eve said with a bright smile in a cheery voice. "I'm Irish and...this class should rock cause I love English and I always did well in my classes back home, well that and the fact that I love to read, take it away Ives!" Eve stood back and pointed at her English friend like a game show host.

"I'm Ivy, I'm from England...erh...she is my sister, um...we just moved here...I hate people" she muttered, her entire speech up to then had been in a very quiet, nervous voice. "I obviously speak English and Eve DOES have an anger problem so just, be careful"

The teacher just stared at the two in shock.

"If you two are sisters why are you guys from different nationalities?" a boy near the front asked. It was obvious that this guy would be one of the class jerks.

"None of your business" Ivy replied quietly yet defensively.

"What, cat got your tongue?" he teased, raising a cocky eyebrow.

"We are sisters because of your mother!" Eve snapped coming up with the first thing that she thought of. Back home that's what everyone said. If someone asked the time the other person would just say 'your mother' and walk off.

The jerk didn't know what to say so she shut up as the two girls went back to their seats.

"Okay that was certainly interesting...let's start today's class our novel, can everyone please take out your copy of Twilight?"

Everyone in the class pulled out their copies of the black covered book with the hands and the apple, even Eve, even though none of the girls had known about the novel

"What the hell?" Ivy said a bit too loud, "Traitor" she hissed at Eve.

"Is there a problem Miss Ivy?" the teacher asked.

"Erm sure. Why are we being forced to read a story about fairy vampires?"

This earned a few sniggers from a few of the students.

"Excuse me?" the teacher asked incredulously.

"Well think about it! They sparkle in sunlight like fairies! Either that or they love to wear glitter! That Alice one must spike there bears and mountain lions with glitter. 'Here Kitty eat the glitter'!" Ivy began to rant, completely forgetting her nervousness and earning a few approving looks from the class Goths.

"And if you take it seriously and look at it from a normal point of view, Edward is a 109 year old stalker and paedophile. I mean he WATCHES Bella sleep! I mean, come on STALKER! And Bella isn't so perfect herself, I bet she drinks, if you catch my drift, she is always moaning and complaining! And Jasper HAS to be doing weed and don't even get my started on that doctor!"

"OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH!" the teacher had to shout over Ivy to cut off her rant. "If you want to debate this I suggest you join the debate team and settle this but for now you are in English and you will follow the class"

Ivy sat back down and took Eve's notebook which she had been drawing in earlier as Eve was too immersed in the book.

She began to scribble her own drawings inside the notebook but got fed up and began to flick through it. She had to admit, Eve really DID have a gift, she SAW things and she could make them exactly the same and draw an amazing picture or she could twist it into something dark yet beautiful. She had a way of seeing things her OWN way and THOSE pictures were mind blowing!

When she grew bored of that she decided to tune into the class.

"So why do you think that Edward did that? He stayed away and told her all of those things, yet he happened to be at Port Angeles. If you knew someone for that period of time would you tell them that you could do all of those things?" the teacher was asking.

Ivy snorted into her crossed arms and everyone turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry but is there something amusing?" the teacher asked Ivy.

"Of course there is! If i met a guy who hardly socialised with the school and then he laid that crap one me I would think that he needs the first ticket available to Arkham." Ivy stated as if everyone should know this.

"Like I said Miss Ivy, take it up with the debate team"

"Maybe I will", Ivy muttered into her arms. Eve looked over at her and smirked. This was better than TV for her.

"How in God's name did you 'happen' to have that book with you?" Ivy asked Eve using her fingers as quotation marks for 'happen' as they left the room and strode down the hallway towards geography.

"I USED to be a fan, I won't deny it, the movie just...I don't know" Eve said searching for words, "Opened my eyes, I admit I fancy one of the actors but I can also guarantee you that it is not Pattinson...I wonder who would be worse" Eve mused to herself.

"Worse than what?"

"Who would be worse, Pattinson or Bieber" Eve nearly sang to herself. Ivy chuckled at her a bit and punched her in the arm.

"I wonder what Gothamite geography is like...or American for that matter...I know my old Irish one was boring" Eve pondered.

"Mine was too, it's all the same really, and you study stuff turning into deserts, poor countries, volcanoes..." Ivy replied.

"I LIKE volcanoes and tornado's, I was raised to watch those movies it's just...my teacher put me to sleep and the other subjects we had to do were boring , I mean, how hard can it be to read a map?" Eve said as the two girls crossed the threshold to the classroom.

"You'd be surprised girls, take a seat"a voice said from behind them and they froze with looks of shock and slowly looked up to see the source of the voice which only caused their looks of shock to stay. The person was old so it was obvious that it was the geography teacher but he was GEORGEOUS! He took the phrase 'Tall dark and handsome' a bit TOO literally. He actually looked like Johnny Depp.

Eve had a goofy smile on her face and Ivy couldn't look at the guy straight in the eye. But she couldn't resist NOT looking at him so she was stuck glancing at him and back at the floor again until the two girls somehow managed to sit down in their seats.

"Alright class, dump your books and the floor and look up" the teacher said walking over to his desk and leaning against it nonchalantly which made the girls practically drool.

"Today let's be hippies! Oil is being the main cause for poor countries being exploited but it is also helping others to get rich. I am talking of course about the drilling of oil."

"You can drill me anytime you like" Ivy muttered, resting her head on her hand before realising that she had accidently said it aloud since everyone was looking at her.

"Pardon?" asked the teacher.

"Oh she means...you can er...drill her in on the 411 ya know? On facts and details and stuff?"

"Sure" the teacher said awkwardly before turning to put thing on the board.

"Why do you have to answer for her, she isn't a mute" said a red haired boy from another row of seats.

"I could be." Ivy muttered.

"No. You talk way too much." Eve laughed.

"BULLY!" Ivy yelled. "I'm being bullied! I'm being bullied! It's because I'm English! Racism! RACISM!"

"Ah England." The teacher smirked. "We are going to study England next week so why don't you tell us about it. Come up to the front."

"You're kidding me." Ivy muttered as she walked to the front of the class.

"Go Ivy!" Eve cheered.

"England is this place in Europe." Ivy said. "We speak English and do English things."

"Like drink tea?" A boy mocked.

"Yes." Ivy said. "But we also set things on fire. We set this boy on fire once and filmed it now it's somewhere on the internet. Also our men are hotter than yours."

"We have Johnny Depp!" Someone yelled.

"Matt Smith!" Ivy shot back.

"Leonardo Di'caprio!" A girl smiled.

"Daniel Craig."

"Zac Efron."

"Christian Bale, I win!" Ivy grinned.

"He's not English!" Eve pointed out.

"Yes he is!" Ivy nodded. "Even Google it!"

"I was thinking of you telling us about the geography side of England." The Teacher said.

"Oh, yeah, right." Ivy muttered. "So… England has trees and stuff. Once we owned a whole load of countries and stuff. The capital of England is London. I've been there twice. We had to go on the train which leant to one side every time we turned a corner and my friend got trapped in the bathroom."

"That's certainly… interesting." The teacher said. "You can sit down now."

00

"Homework?" Eve yelled. They had been home for about an hour and Eve was slowly realising that the idea of going to school wasn't all that fun.

"Stupid god damn clowns sending me to school!" She yelled. Ivy looked up from her homework and raised an eyebrow. "They think they're so good because they're…"

"Theatrical?" Ivy said.

"Yes! Theatrical! I'll give them theatrical!" Eve yelled as she walked over to her mp3 player which was plugged into the speakers.

"How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked  
He thought you were the candy man." Eve sang in time with the music. Ivy's eyes widened and she quickly stood up when she realised that Eve was singing Sweet Transvestite from The Rocky Picture Show.

She began to walk towards Ivy was stumbled back towards the door.

"Don't get strung out by the way that I look,  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover  
_I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."_ Eve sang as she grabbed Ivy's arm as threw her on the bed.

"I'M GOING TO GET RAPED! HELP!" Ivy screamed. Eve rolled her eyes and skipped a couple songs on her mp3 player.

"SING WITH ME!" Eve ordered.

"Make me!" Ivy yelled back.

"Don't get strung out by the way that I look,  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover  
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania." Eve sang. Ivy leapt to her feet and began pounding her fists on the door.

"Let me out!" She screamed. "I can't take this insanity."

The door opened and Ivy ran out of the room without looking where she was going. The Joker stood there with a smirk as Ivy instantly hid behind him with her arms around his waist.

"Help me." She whispered.

"Oh clown!" Eve grinned. "I need to talk to you."

Ivy stayed behind The Joker glaring at her friend.

"I'm not going back to school. Ever. Again!" Eve growled.

"What are you going to do? Stay off school and drink alcohol? Isn't that what you Irish kids do?" The Joker chuckled.

"That's a stereotype, scar face." Eve laughed before realising what she had just called The Joker.

Ivy gasped and The Joker's hand went in his pocket.

"Oh crap." Eve muttered as The Joker pulled his switch blade out of the coat pocket.

"Dun dun dunnnn." Ivy muttered.


	11. Punishments

**Wow 10 pages. Merry Christmas readers! Guess what I did? Convinced my brother to read Doctor Who fanfiction *happy dance.**

**Anyhwo, I hope you enjoy, if Eve's grammar gets bad, it's only her accent.**

**Review;)**

"You can't kill me!" Eve pointed out, trying to act like a stuck up know-it-all brat but Ivy could notice her shaking.

"Maybe not, and as much as torture would be a uh...**fun **option, Harley would never shut up about it" the Joker replied darkly.

"So what're you goin' to do?" Eve asked a bit nervously.

"Mentally harm you of course" he said happily before grabbing Ivy by the arm and dragging her across the room and throwing her into her own room. He locked the door behind her and turned back to Eve with a big smile on his face while Ivy attacked the door and screamed.

The Joker just remained staring at Eve for a few minutes until eventually Eve couldn't help herself.

"What" she snapped, her arms crossed and a pout on her face.

"Are you insane yet?"

"HAH" Eve scoffed, "Have I EVER been sane?"

The Joker just looked agitated and the more he thought of how he _couldn't_ kill the Irish girl, the angrier he got. He left and locked Eve's door behind him.

Eve was left standing in silence, but Eve, being Eve, quickly dashed into the closet and began banging on Ivy's door.

"IT'S NO USE!" Ivy called.

"HAVE YOU GOT YOUR LAPTOP IN THERE?" Eve screamed back.

"Jeez, I can hear you fine!"

"Oh...okay...go on Skype"

"But-"

"DO IT!"

"Fine" huffed Ivy before backing away from the door.

Eve picked up her own laptop and jumped onto the bed.

The laptop took a while to set up so Eve put her IPod onto its docking station all the while thinking _Punishment my arse, Lock me up in my room where my computer and IPod is!_

Once Eve logged on, she immediately called Ivy.

"What's the story on your end? I haven't seen you in aaages! Did the boogeyman get you?"

Ivy sighed, "It's only been five minutes"

"A five minutes where anything can happen!" Eve corrected, "This is so much fun, it's like cluedo! I call dibs on Scarlett!"

"No one has died!...Yet" Ivy replied.

"Exactly...I'm just thinking ahead"

"This is actually kinda normal"

"Huh?"

"Well", Ivy began, "It's as if you were back home in Ireland and I were back in England...technically we were just next door then, the only thing that separated us was the sea and in this case...it's a closet"

"I'm going to break that closet" Eve murmured.

"What are we going to do now?" Ivy questioned.

"I don't know...feckin clowns!"

"What?"

"Sorry...when I get angry I get very...Irish...hehe, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"When you're angry, I doubt you scream and drink a cup of tea"

"Oh erh...scream? Break stuff, punch walls, regret it later...do it again?"

"Oh Ives...do you think we will have to go to school?"

"Probably"

"I hope so" Eve muttered into the camera.

"What?" Who are you and what have you done with Eve? Get out of her you.,..you...you pod person!"

"Oh you'll see" Eve winked, tapping her nose. "LUCKY LICK!" Eve pretended to lick the camera and Ivy couldn't help but shriek.

"Eve THAT'S GROSS!"

"Hey, open your window!"

"Why, why would I do that?" Ivy asked sarcastically.

"Cause I said so" replied Eve as if it were obvious before logging off.

Eve put down her computer and walked over to the window. She tried to open it, it was stuck at first but she got it eventually. She looked down and quickly brought her head back. She had never been scared of heights before but she had never been sucked into a fictional universe either!

"Okay" she said to herself, "If I fall, I don't die. And hopefully I don't become a vegetable but STILL...I've got to see Ivy"

Eve gave herself a pep-talk as she walked onto the window ledge to Ivy's window.

Eventually she reached Ivy's window which was, thankfully, open. She climbed inside and instantly hit the dramatics.

"Oh Ivy! I haven't seen ya in ages girl, How are ya? What's the craic?"

"What's the what? It's only been like...ten minutes" Ivy replied, trying to dodge Eve's hug.

"Yeah...PARTY!" Eve screamed, forgetting that she wasn't supposed to be in Ivy's multicolored room. She skipped over to Ivy's IPod and began to play one of the loudest songs that Ivy had been meaning to delete. She began dancing around the room while Ivy watched her with terrified eyes.

"We're going to get caught!"

"Nah, we won't, the two clowns are probably...'busy' if you catch my drift" Eve said, making hand gestures.

"Probably what?" asked a sing song voice after the music disappeared.

The two girls slowly turned around to see their captor standing by the stereo.

"Planning a bank robbery?" Eve said in a timid guessing voice.

The Joker looked annoyed. He knew what she really meant. His eyes seemed to grow darker.

"I know you can't die and I see now that there is no separating you two, But you can definitely feel pain" he pointed out, musing to himself, as he began to pace in front of them.

"Boys" he called which was then followed by men in clown masks quickly stepping inside and grabbing Ivy.

"What the hell! No! LET GO!" Ivy screamed.

The Joker pulled Eve across the room roughly as she tried to move forward and pull the goons off of her friend.

"No, you're going to watch, this is all your fault. You brought this on her and you need to learn your lesson"

"THEN WHY NOT BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Eve screamed at him as tears began to fill her eyes.

The Joker growled and swung her around to face Ivy as one of the goons held her back and punched her in the stomach. Ivy left out a yelp of pain and doubled over, her face showing the obvious pain that she was in.

She was kicked to the floor and spat on as another goon took his turn and kicked her in the ribs.

It was beyond any pain that Ivy had ever felt before, she couldn't even scream.

Eve tried everything to get rid of the Joker, she stomped on his foot, hit him, tried to scratch him (even though she lacked nails since she bit them). But he only stood there and laughed at Ivy's pain.

Eve slapped him out of his reverie, literally, and he growled at her in response.

He motioned for the goons to back off and they left the room without a word.

"You see" he growled darkly. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! No stereotyping and NO going against what I say, MY hideout, MY rules...got it?" he warned in one of his most insane voices.

"Only if you do the same" Eve spat, rage threatening to spill over inside her.

"You're a brave one" commented the Joker.

"WELL THEN GIVE ME A MEDAL!" screeched Eve still in her tantrum. And who could blame her? She had talked back when being stereotyped for being Irish and then her friend got punished instead of her after she snuck into Ivy's room.

Damn he is an idiot!, mentally screamed Eve.

"Watch it" said the Joker with dark eyes as he left the room and pointed a gloved hand at Eve before closing the door.

Eve ran to Ivy as soon as they were alone and tried to help her up but it was no use, Ivy was too weak. Her face was covered in her blood and Eve swore that one of her ribs must have been cracked, at least.

Eve ran to the bathroom to get a cloth and a first aid kit so Ivy couldn't watch was Eve's eyes began to fill with tears. It was her fault that Ivy had been viciously attacked. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Eve mentally scolded herself as she wiped away her tears and went back to Ivy.

"I'm fine, honest" Ivy protested as Eve began to clean her up.

"No it's not, not when I'm the reason that this happened."

"Well would you feel better if I took a bullet?"

"That's not funny"

"Oh come on! You're not going to change; you're still going to act like you! And to be honest, I think that we need the REAL Eve! You make everything funny and not so serious"

"Why so serious" Eve quoted, trying to make a joke out of it, but still hiding her face.

"See!" pointed out Ivy, leaning on her hands as Eve cleaned up the blood. Ivy actually seemed very nonchalant for some that had just been beaten up.

"How are you so care free about this?" Eve asked in a curious tone.

"Well, I suppose that we'll have to get used to it won't we? If we don't end up going back that is"

"Well I for one will happily accept a beating if it means that I get to spend more time with you" Eve declared, a smile playing on her lips.

"Oh you" Ivy replied playing along and giving Eve a light punch in the shoulder.

000

"Why d'we have to go t'school?"

"What?" Ivy asked exasperated, she had barely been able to understand Eve all day. She had actually hit Eve at the breakfast table and told her to stop being so Irish. Eve's accent was getting worse, as impossible as it sounded.

The Joker and Harley did nothing to prevent violence so they looked the other way when Ivy punched Eve, for real, in the arm.

The first class of the day was with the Johnny Depp look-a-like. Eve was practically sighing the word 'Geography' as she took her seat in the back of the classroom. She loved the guy, but she found his subject boring so she sat in the back of the room, comfortable with the teacher's voice in the background and doodling a creepy looking tree. Unfortunately she ended up finishing the tree so she decided to practice drawing people so she scrolled through her IPod under the desk to look for a band that she could draw and ended up at My Chemical Romance.

_Bingo_ she thought.

"Hey….Pst!..Ives!"

"What?" Ivy whispered back, trying to take down notes.

"The future is bullet proof! THE AFTERMATH IS SECONDARY! Let's do it loud and do it proud KILL JOYS MAKE SOME NOISE"

"Gerard Way is never going to marry you, apart from the fact that you are completely bonkers, the guy is already married with a child"

"Sweet name for a girl though…if he were married to me, I'd have a long list of cool names. And mind you, between you and me, I don't really plan on having many children, there's only a few people that I will have an exception for"

"Like I said, Gerard is never going to marry you" Ivy repeated.

"Well Simon Neil won't marry you!"

Ivy gasped. "You take that back"

"Yeah well-"

"Is there something wrong Eve? Would you prefer to be the one that tells us about the definition of Geography?" the teacher asked from the head of the class.

"Erh…."

"Up here, in front of the class"

Eve got out of her seat and went to face the class. She refused to show everyone that she was scared and embarrassed so she just smiled and began to say the first honest things that came to mind, that didn't have any bad words either.

"So Geography is the study of rocks….and icy stuff….and dirt…." Eve rocked back on her heels and looked straight at Ivy when she muttered "I'm sure that I've a jar of dirt here somewhere" which earned a quiet chuckle from her friend.

"I've heard enough, see me after class Miss Harper"

"No problemmo" Eve saluted the teacher before returning to her seat.

"Oh Eve, what am I going to do with you?"

"Call up people that've dealt with me before and ask, 'cause I honestly don't have a notion what so ever!"

After class, Ivy waited outside the classroom for Eve. She was waiting for a solid ten minutes until Eve stepped out, still looking as colourful and optimistic as she had been before.

"So?"

"I got detention, my first ever actually; he is SO off my Christmas list"

"What will-" Ivy looked around before saying, "The clowns say?"

"Naughty naughty?"

"Come on Eve!"

"Quit being such a worry wart...besides…we have bigger fish to fry…we got gymnastics"

Eve never liked physical education but knew that Ivy did. She was excited to see her friend in action so she sat on the bleachers while the teacher set up.

Ivy shouted at Eve which caught the attention of the teacher.

"And why aren't you participating young lady?"

"Oh, I don't stretch, jump or run…or lunge…..I think that's it" Eve didn't reply in a spiteful tone, she was actually serious, which was laughable, which could have been one of the reasons why the teacher was peeved with the answer.

"Do you want detention?"

"I already have detention"

"No surprise there, I wonder WHY you have it already" the teacher replied sarcastically. She was a young woman with dark brown hair that was close to black in color and tied back into a ponytail. Her dark brown eyes her filling with agitation with the girl in front of her. "Who gave you the detention" she pressed.

"That teacher that looks like Johnny Depp…you know? He teaches geography?"

"That's Mr. Tuck"

"Sweeeeeet" Eve dragged out the word with an amused expression.

"You're not getting out of this" the teacher said.

"Well you're not forcing me to do something that I don't want to do" Eve pointed out.

"OFFICE!" the Gym teacher shouted, pointing in the direction of the door.

"Fine, I'll do your poxy class…Jeez"

Seven minutes into class and Eve had somehow managed to slap three people, trip over two people and even fling a tennis ball at Ivy, even though they were supposed to be doing gymnastics.

In the end the teacher kicked her out and said that it was for safety reasons. Since Eve was sent packing, she decided that she might wander around for a while. She walked down the empty, shiny hallway and peeped in through windows to see some of the class's that were in session.

"Who goes there?" came a voice from the end of the hallway. Eve's head whipped around and saw a mousy haired guy that was wearing a sash. He was actually kind of cute, in Eve's opinion. That was one thing about Eve, back home she never touched, only observed. But that was when Eve was at home, this new life in Gotham had made her do the opposite of everything that she usually did, like have a run in with the teacher for example, or actually SPEAK normally. Back home she was a model citizen, she dressed normally, she studied, she kept her head down and her mouth shut. The new Eve was the complete opposite, the new Eve was more honest with herself, the only thing that the two had in common was their love for books, which gave Eve a mental reminder that she wanted to find the library around here.

"I'm just looking for a library; apparently, I'm too much of a health hazard in gym"

"Oh" the boy replied shyly.

"Who are you?" Eve couldn't help asking.

"Donnie"

"Cool, like the-"

"Movie...I know, I get that a lot, it's why a few of my friends sort of nicknamed me Darko"

"I like the name Donnie, it's cute"

Donnie gave out a dry laugh in response and just muttered a thanks.

"So…..this magical library" Eve reminded the hall monitor, "By the way...how do you get out of class? Is there like shifts or something?"

"Yeah, actually, most people yell at me because I get privileges to do that"

"That's not fair, it's not like you're dossing, you're actually working!"

"Exactly, If only everyone thought like you"

"Pfft, good luck with that…the world is a really shitty place"

This was followed by an awkward silence that Donnie spent staring at Eve with wide eyes.

"What? Girls swear you know"

"It's not that…You're the first person to ever agree with me on that"

"Oh" Eve squeaked, she had been expecting a debate from Donnie, an agreement hadn't been on her list at all.

"I better take you to that magical room of yours then" Donnie smirked and began to lead her down the hallway; Eve just followed feeling uncomfortable with the silence so she decided to break the ice.

"So…d'you patrol the hallways often?"

"Certain times of certain days"

"Certainly….Best way to have it" Eve smiled up at Donnie who let out a small laugh at Eve's behavior. Not that many girls talked to Donnie and it was nice for the change, even if it did turn out to be Eve.

"Wait, what's your name? I already told you mine"

"Eve"

"Cool name, very…mystical"

"If you're into that sort of stuff, with All Hallows Eve, wooooo" Eve teased, raising her arms and doing a bad impersonation of a ghost.

"Ha-ha, Bela Lugosi has got nothing on you girl" Donnie stated sarcastically, turning a corner.

"Wow" was all Eve could reply, leaving the two in an awkward silence.

She just kept looking straight ahead as Donnie looked worried and peeped at her from the corner of his eye.

"What, what is it?"

"Just, wow…I've never met a guy before that is into that kind of thing" Eve smirked and gave Donnie a playful nudge as they passed the music room which was producing a record amount of chaotic noise that would put the Joker to shame.

Then again, Eve thought, he would probably use it as his cue to walk in with his shot gun.

"Well this is my stop, I take it" Eve gestured to the wooden plack that read 'Library'.

"Probably" Donnie replied with a smirk that left Eve inwardly swooning, she couldn't help but find him adorable. He put the phrase 'Tall Dark and Handsome' to shame.

"Well, I best be going"

"See you around" the hall monitor waved before walking off to return to his job of patrolling hallways.

_Guy of cuteness and protector of hallways,_ Eve thought as she entered the library.

000

One of the goons had to collect the girls from school. Eve had him rambling as Ivy tried to get as much homework as possible finished before getting back to the hide-out, since she knew that the clowns would end up taking up most of her time whether they were acting out and trying to rob a bank or being pissed off and hurting her.

"Aren't you worried that you won't get your homework all done?" she couldn't help but ask Eve as they headed up the steps to the entrance of the hide out.

"Not really" came the nonchalant reply.

"Why not?"

Eve snorted, because I'm not goin' to do it"

"But you already got detention!" Ivy pointed out matter of factly.

"So? I'm in a fictional world that isn't supposed to exist and living with two criminals that don't give a crap about rules and regulations, if I were at home, I might consider it, but NOT here, this is my fun holiday where I express myself and that's exactly what I'm goin' to do"

Ivy decided to drop it and went to her room to finish off her Math with Eve in tow.

"Why is it always _my_ room?"

"Well aren't you full of questions today?" Eve teased as she collapsed onto Ivy's bed.

Ivy just rolled her eyes and went to dig out her Math book from her bag but hissed in pain and jumped back as a pain shot up her right shoulder.

"Are you okay?" asked Eve, concern in her eyes.

"I'm fine" Ivy replied through clenched teeth.

"Seriously, what the Joker did wasn't nice, does it still hurt?"

"I SAID I'M FINE!"

Eve just gave her English friend a strange look before heading to her own room through their adjoining closet.

000

"So, how was school Hun?" Harley asked Ivy happily as she put some egg onto her plate.

"Fine"

"Just fine?" Harley pressed the subject.

"Ivy's just a grumpy face" Eve commented, looking at her plate with dark eyes.

"Well you're an Irish face!" Ivy shot back.

"How is that relevant? You're such a feckin' English face!"

"We got Florence!"

"Oh don't even try that card!" Eve screamed across the table.

"Joker, Eve got detention!"

There was an awkward silence, which Eve felt the need to do her 'awkward turtle' thing in the middle of. The Joker looked up from the table that he was carving with his knife to look at the two teenagers in front of him as Harley took her seat at the head of the table across from him.

"So what? I got kicked out of Gym too! But it's all down to mutual differences" Eve spat, leaning over the table so she could sneer at Ivy.

"Wai**t**…Eve got deten**tion**…and you didn'**t**?" the Joker asked as were trying to solve a riddle.

All three women looked at him expectantly until he finally said, "Ivy, I'm so ashamed of you, go to your room! Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered."

If looks could kill, the Joker would have died a million deaths by the way Ivy was glaring at him. He just smiled back at her and pointed to the door.

After dinner Eve went into the closet and rummaged through her stash until she pulled out a bottle of Irn Bru and a packet of crisps before heading into Ivy's room.

Ivy lying was on her bed, propped up against her pillows and reading a book that Eve made a mental note to ask about afterwards.

Eve threw the food onto Ivy's bed before jumping onto it herself and trying to smile at Ivy.

"I brought your favorites!" Eve coaxed, "I'm sorry about dinner, it was out of line" she added after Ivy ignored her.

"Oh come on! I brought you food and I'm trying to make things better, I'm really trying here! I got gossip! Will that help?" Eve asked as innocently as a child which had Ivy trying to hide her small smile behind her book.

"I saw that, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE WORLD IVY IS ACTUALLY SMILING!"

"Shut up" Ivy whispered as she began to laugh at Eve's idiocy.

After things finally settled down Ivy broke the silence with, "So…gossip I hear"

"Oh yeah! I met a guy today"

"Spill missy"

And so Eve was off with her story! She told Ivy all about Donnie and their walk down the hallway. Ivy said that they should watch Donnie Darko and compare him to Jake Gyllenhall but Eve said she was too tired and she wanted to go back to bed.

She said good night and headed off into her room.

Ivy returned to her reading but ended up going to bed herself a while later.

000

School the next day was uneventful, at the start. Everything was normal as the girls sat down to German class. But Eve had to stir things up since she was beginning to enjoy being the class's entertainment. She raised her hand as innocent as can be. The teacher, a young looking substitute for the year nodded for Eve to speak so Eve just nonchalantly asked, "Why do I have to take this class?"

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"I mean, WHY do I have to learn German?"

"Because you need a second language to get into college"

"A: I don't believe that and B: I already have a second language" Eve replied curtly.

Ivy slapped her head with her hand and tried to cover her face in her hands as Eve began to take off. Ivy didn't want any rants right now.

"Really?" the teacher said, folding her arms and acting as if she were playing along to something like a child talking about Santa. Eve caught this and instantly got angry.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do! And it's European like German so you can't pull any of that euro crap on me! I'm already fluent in Irish and you can't make me learn this ridiculous language with its dots and extra long words that was spoken originally by a guy that tried to take over the world….so there"

The class was awestruck as the teacher glared at Eve who just had a timid look on her face and said quietly, "Office"

"Oh yeah" the teacher nodded, opening the door for Eve.

000

"Well well, what have we here?"

Donnie sat down beside a shivering Eve outside the principal's office.

"Why are offices so cold, back home our computer office was freezing too, at my house I mean" Eve chattered while trying to rub her arms to keep warm.

"Heating broke last year, well, not really, they had to turn it off, it's a long story" Donnie replied.

"I have all day" Eve said with a weak smile.

"Well" Donnie began, putting his coat over Eve's shoulders, "A few years ago some idiot stuck a fish down into the radiators and it's stuck, everyone's tried to get it out but no one can, and when the heating is turned on the place stinks up. People accidently turned it on now and again so they had to turn off the thing completely"

"Just because some prick wanted to play the funny man, we have to suffer…asshole" Eve muttered into her lap as she doubled over with the cold.

"So what did you do? Come on, cough up, I told you the story behind your suffering" Donnie nudged Eve.

"I told the teacher that I refused to learn a language from a country that was once a dictatorship, I asked her the point of learning it in general, and then refused after she gave me that 'second language' bullshit"

"Well I sorta agree with you" Donnie said, surprising the freezing brunette sitting beside him.

"You do?"

"Well yeah, I mean, you already have a second language so you shouldn't be forced to take that class in the first place"

"How do you know I have a second language?" Eve tested.

"Well your accent obviously says that you're Irish so I guess that you speak it"

"You'd be surprised at the amount that don't, but you're right, I do, since I was 4"

"Sweeeeet" Donnie dragged out the word.

"Duuuuuude" Eve replied with a smirk.

"You've seen 'Dude where's My Car', you have to be the first chick I've ever met that has!"

"I feel so underestimated" Eve said with fake hurt.

Before their conversation could continue Marty walked into the room in all her fine pink glory, her head held high and her perfectly straightened hair flowing behind her.

"What do you think you're doing? You can't get into trouble and you know why? It falls back onto me! I'm in charge of you in this school, I was assigned to you, it's the rules" she bitched automatically.

"Fuck off Barbie" Eve spat.

Marty let out a gasp and looked as if she were ready to flip out her I phone.

"Miss Harper, the principal will see you now" a secretary stated as she popped her head around the corner.

"Good luck" Donnie whispered before getting up and leaving so he could go and do whatever it was he did after he had finished his patrol for the day.

Eve walked into the office with Marty on her heels; she must have been called in. Eve wouldn't be surprised if she had the school on speed dial.

_Damn golden child slut_ Eve thought, her train of thought let out a string of profanities that would put any sailor to shame.

"Miss Harper you can't go around doing what you did, and if you wanted to talk about this with your teacher you should have done so after class and not in public, disturbing classes is frowned upon in this school. Marty you should have told her this."

Marty tried to look innocent and pleaded, "But I did sir, I told her all the rules! No short skirts, no back cheek, homework is to be handed in on time and respect"

She had said it as if she had learned it from a sheet.

Wait, "No short skirts? You never told me about any of this, you acted sort of like a stalker but you told me nothing!" Eve shot back.

"Is this true Martina?" the principal asked, he was a stout man, in his mid fifties with a mustache. He sort of scared Eve, but not in a disciplinary way, he wouldn't stop her now though.

"You listen up you hypocritical bimbo! You said nothing of the sort and furthermore you were wearing a mini skirt when I met you ON school property, you can even check the cameras!"

"Shut it, you stupid foreigner!"

"You racist fucking whore!" Eve screamed before slapping Marty across the face, she would have lunged in to rip her hair out but strong hands held her back.

"THAT'S IT! Eve Harper you are suspended from this school for a week. I suggest you pack up your things immediately and leave school grounds." The principal stated before heading to the door and opening it for Eve, "You young lady, may remain here while we check the cameras, that was a very serious accusation that Miss Harper has informed us about and you weren't in the office that day either" he added giving Marty a sharp look.

Eve smirked evilly at Marty before strutting out of the office as if she owned the place. She paused mid stride and turned around to see the receptionist from earlier standing behind the chair that Eve had occupied. She must have been the one that had held Eve back from brutally attacking that cow. Eve had to look twice before finally getting it through her head, she couldn't believe it, the woman looked as if she were in her late sixties. She was very skinny and wrinkly and her glasses were so big that they looked as if they would fall off.

Eve eventually left and passed her locker without a second glance, she didn't plan on studying; besides she could take Ivy's books.

With the thought of Ivy, Eve decided that she would wait around outside until Ivy was finished her day of education and one of the goons came around to pick them up.

This could get very interesting.

**And there you go! The next chapter has already been started! Take it away Sweeney!**

**Review;)**

**Or I'll go all Grinch on ya presents!**

**Skit;)**

**Xxx**

**Merry Christmas1**


	12. Lover And A Fighter

**New chapter, sorry that it took so long. I'm working on some new material at the moment and Joey's sequel is being currently worked upon. Sorry that everything took so long, I was addicted to a fanfiction for over a week. If any of you are Pirate obsess, I recommend 'The Pirate And His Cinderella' by emmajules.**

**Any who Read, Review and Enjoy!**

Ivy finally came out of school, to find Eve leaning against a white transit van, which was probably The Joker's.

"Finally." Eve yelled, as Ivy ran up to the van.

"I was looking for you." Ivy mumbled. "You could have told me where you were."

"I got suspended." Eve said with a smug smile.

"What?" Ivy asked, as they climbed in the can.

"Yeah, for violent behaviour or something." Eve grinned.

"That's nothing to be proud of." Ivy snapped. "You're just like the kids back home. You think you're all cool because you seem bad ass."

"I don't think I'm cool." Eve shot back. "Jeez, what is up with you? When The Joker hurt you did he knock out the happy part of your brain?"

"I'm sorry." Ivy sighed. "I'm just tired from school and all that."

"No problem." Eve smiled. "Look what I have." She stuck her hand in her pocket before pulling out a bracelet. All around the bracelet were little green metal ivy leaves. Eve grinned when she saw Ivy's mouth falling open. "It's for you."

"Wow." Ivy gasped, as Eve dropped the ivy bracelet in her hand.

"Yeah! I got it from this weird little shop. Look I got this as well." Eve smiled. She pulled back her sleeve and revealed a bracelet with tiny Russian doll charms. "I named them all… but forgot the names."

"Where did you get the money for these? They look ridiculously expensive." Ivy asked, as she looked at the bracelet in her hands. She let her eyes wander up to Eve's face and saw her biting her lip and looking out the window. Ivy sighed. "You stole it didn't you?"

"I was bored." Eve whined. Ivy sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you." Ivy said slowly before looking up and forcing a smile. "Like I said, I'm just tired."

* * *

Eve didn't see Ivy for the rest of the evening. Ivy had locked herself in her room and mumbled something about catching up on sleep when Eve asked her if she wanted to play photographer with her.

Eve didn't mind though. She remembered how tired she was when she got home from school back when she lived in Ireland. So she read a few books and watched a few movies on the television until day turned into night and her eyes grew heavy. That's when she climbed into bed and buried herself under her blankets.

"Night Ivy." She called. Not expecting to get an answer.

"Night Eve." Ivy said after a few seconds. "Love you."

"I love you too." Eve chuckled, as she closed her eyes.

* * *

"How is my suspended girl? I'm so proud you!" Harley sang, as she walked into Eve's room with a tray, which was loaded with breakfast.

"Don't forget the theft" Ivy said sarcastically, walking out of the closet with her bag over her shoulder.

Harley's eyes widened with surprise and lit up with admiration, "Oh they get so big, I'm so proud of you!" Harley cried, as she brought Eve into a bone crushing hug.

Ivy rolled her eyes and left the room, since some of them had school that they needed to go to. "I'll explain everything to Donny" Ivy yelled as she walked out the door, only hearing Eve's laughter as she closed the door behind her.

How was it that Eve was getting special treatment for being a juvenile? Since when had Eve ever been like this when Ivy had known her over the internet? All that time of friendship had never once made Ivy suspect that Eve was capable of theft, and if she was capable of theft, what else was she capable of? Ivy was hit by a memory of Eve once telling her 'that if you are nice to rough people, you can easily survive, just don't kiss arse (As Eve would say with her Irish accent) too much or you will end up worse off than if you were at war with the rough people in the first place.'

* * *

School was a nightmare that morning for Ivy, the halls were packed with students, which gave the English girl a bad feeling of claustrophobia, and the fact that she was alone since Eve wasn't there didn't help either. She couldn't stand the herd of people, so she opened the first door that she saw and hid inside.

She leaned against the door, taking a breather, her eyes closed and her breath getting slower, until a voice broke her from her little calming session.

"Feeling any better?" the voice asked, making Ivy whip her head around to look at the Geography teacher that seemed to be sitting at his desk, grading papers probably, Ivy thought as she stared at the ground, her cheeks beginning to go scarlet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know...I mean I wasn't...damn" Ivy stuttered, trying to find something to say.

"Don't worry, I run in here when I'm feeling a bit 'all over the place' too" the teacher grinned, pushing a piece of hair behind his ear.

Ivy looked up at her teacher and wondered briefly how this whole thing worked. She loved science fiction, so she was obviously fascinated with the whole 'travelling between worlds' thing. She thought about the famous people from back home, were they given another alias and occupation here? Were the famous people here, people that she had never heard of?

"Thanks, I'm not used to everything yet...I guess" Ivy muttered, looking away to face the end of the class room. Her gaze passed the table that she was seated at the day that Eve had received her detention and wonder briefly what the Irish brunette was doing at this very moment.

"It's understandable, you haven't been here that long, what lesson should you have now, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Erm...I'm not a hundred per-"

"Hang on, I'll check, I have a copy of your years schedule. Let's see...you either have business with Ms Anderson, French with Mr McTavish or Dance with Ms Berry."

Ivy's breathing began to quicken as soon as she heard the word 'dance'. She would happily play sports or write a story or cook, but Ivy would rather die than dance. She despised it! The teacher could rot in hell for all she cared, but she was NEVER going to dance. The very thought of it terrified her, with dance came practise, and with practise came recitals which lead to accidents and embarrassment.

_Oh God_ Ivy thought as she leaned against the door behind her.

"I can't go to dance, how did they give me that class? Oh God" Ivy was beginning to get agitated and couldn't help but feel around behind her and look for the doorknob.

"Panic attacks?" the teacher asked gently.

Ivy just nodded in response, there was no point in pretending or lying to this teacher, he was too nice, he hardly ever raised his voice, he was the type of teacher that you would _want_ to study for, which was a first for Ivy.

"I got them as a teenager, loud music and getting lost in your head usually helps" the teacher smiled, his brown eyes sparkling, giving Ivy the first feeling of contentment since she had arrived in Gotham.

* * *

"Your school sent you some homework" Harley declared, as she walked into the living-room/kitchen carrying a pile of books and binder folders.

"I don't want to" Eve whined.

"I didn't say that you had to, only that you have it"

"Well tough...I'm not doing it!"

"That's my girl" Harley smiled, plopping down beside Eve on the couch. Eve placed her game controller down and looked at Harley.

"This is fun, I knew I was right in choosing you! Your fun, none of that Jiminy Cricket business" Harley declared as she threw her arms around Eve and gave her a big hug. "So when are you back in school?"

"Tuesday, I love suspension, I'm probably going to get expelled though" Eve said, the tiniest hint of guilt in her voice.

"You were never like this when Mistah J and I were watching you, you were too quiet, Mistah J actually threatened not to get you but then we saw you with your friend in that shop and you both looked as if you were drunk, we thought that you had even taken drugs!"

This had been news to Eve, her friend in a shop? Eve thought about this and her face nearly dropped when she realised what Harley had been talking about. She had nearly fallen down with the laughter and the people in the shop had been staring, she remembered the pain in her ribs from laughing so hard and couldn't help but smile at the memory...good times.

"What's today's date?" Eve asked casually, she was curious as to how long she had been with the clown couple.

"Um, the eighth? Why?" Harley asked but heard her phone ring from where it was lying on the kitchen counter top across the room. She heard Eve mutter something that she couldn't understand before picking up the phone and answering it.

* * *

Busted lips were painful, Ivy had come across some injuries in her time but this definitely made it to the top five. She raised the ice pack to the side of her face and flinched with the pain.

The person that had caused this was currently in the office being screamed at by their mother, who had taken over from the principals screaming.

Ivy didn't even know why it had happened, she hadn't even met her attacker, the bimbo just walked up to Ivy and started screaming things at her about how Ivy and Eve were freaks that should be dumped and began to follow the scared red haired girl, before taking her first swipe.

Ivy looked around the office, it wasn't fancy but it wasn't run down either. The couch outside the office was made from leather and everything looked clean and polished, especially the secretaries desk.

"Oh my God Hun!"

Ivy froze, she knew that voice.

_Damn._

"And they say the Irish are the rowdy bunch" a second voice said, filled with playful sarcasm.

Ivy looked up to see a brightly dressed Eve and a wide eyed Harley, dressed normally for once. Ivy suspected that her wide eyes was down to the shock that she had been involved in a fight and sent to the school office, instead of the fact that she was sporting a cut lip.

_Typical_

"You must be Ivy's guardian...hello Eve" the secretary called from her desk.

"Hi Maria, how's the kids?"

"Oh, the usual, I think that Gloria may be bringing home a boy any day to me now, she is becoming more secretive"

"Aw, that's nice, tell Dave that I said to get off the couch and go slag off his sister!"

The secretary chuckled and pressed the speaker, informing the principal that Ivy's guardian had come to pick her up. But Ivy took no notice, she was finding it too amazing that Eve had just waltzed into the room and had a chat with the secretary. Ivy knew that Eve had been sent to the office quite a bit, but this was just getting ridiculous.

The door to the principal's office opened and out walked the psycho blonde and her mother. The resemblance was uncanny, only her mother's cheek bones were more defined and her face had definitely had a few meetings with a certain needle named Botox.

The teenager threw Ivy a dirty look but flinched when she saw the deadly look that Eve had given her in return. The mother began to scold her daughter in a hushed tone while they left the room and the principal walked out of his office.

Harley went to go and talk to him, leaving Ivy and Eve out in the main room in an awkward silence.

"I never thought I would sit out here with you after a disorderly conduct charge" Eve said, looking around randomly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Charge? What is this, the MCU?"

"Pfft, it's as good as, and you know that you can't disagree, this school is a shithole"

Ivy had to admit that she was finding this whole thing hilarious. Eve was acting like an innocent little know-it-all girl, and the random cussing in her sentence just seemed to lighten the mood perfectly.

"You swear a lot" Ivy said randomly, changing the subject with a smirk on her face.

"I swear a lot?" Eve repeated disbelievingly, "How the f-"

Ivy gave her a look.

"Oh, right. I can't help it"

"I bet you don't even notice it sometimes, you swore all the time when we had to build those shelves, you cussed when we discussed home and guys, you even swore at Christmas when you got that zombie game that you wanted, whether we were speaking over the internet or not that time, you swore"

"Well then" Eve replied, looking back to her English friend with an innocent look, "I suppose you're going to have to fucking deal"

Ivy had to laugh at the look that Eve was giving her and laugh which made Eve laugh. They were in the knots laughing when the door opened but they didn't take any notice, until Eve heard a familiar voice calling her name. She looked up. "Donnie?"

"I thought you were suspended?" he asked genuinely, but Eve could see the hurt in his eyes, he probably thought that she had lied to him just to avoid him. Eve stood up and walked closer to him.

"Oh, no no no, I mean, yes, I mean" Eve stuttered before blurting out the whole story in a rush, "Ivy was in a fight and she hurt her lip, see! And my...mother...had to come in to pick her up and we were shopping when the school called so I came along to pick her up, my mam is in the office now with the principal. If you don't believe me look at Ivy's lip! I mean, come on! Can you imagine Ivy in a fight? She can't throw a punch for shite"

Ivy made a noise in the back of her throat to remind Eve of her presence but Eve just turned around to her and said "Well, you can't"

Ivy decided to just let it drop and shut up. She was interested to see what would happen next.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to pry" Donnie apologised, looking at his shoes with embarrassment.

"Oh no, it's okay, I don't mind, it's nice to meet someone who has an interest in things sometimes ,well, other than their Xbox.

"Well, I'm sorry for being nosy then, how about I make it up to you?" Donnie asked, nervously lifting his head to look Eve, who knew where this was going, in the eyes.

Eve bit her lip, "What did you have in mind?"

Donnie frowned, "I'm not sure to be honest, a night on the town? We can decided once we're there, like a spur of the moment thing"

"I'd love to" Eve smiled.

"But?"

"'But' what? I'd love to, I didn't say 'but', there's no 'but's' about it"

Donnie chuckled a bit, realising that she was just as nervous as he was. "Okay, what time should I pick you up?"

"Oh, erm, how about I meet you, do you know that restaurant on 7th?" Eve asked, knowing that Donnie could never go to her...hideout.

"Sure, see you at 6:30?"

"Sure, it's a date" Eve smirked.

"Okay" Donnie replied quietly, his cheeks reddening as he turned to leave.

"See you there Mister Darko" Eve teased as he left the room, barely hearing his laugh as he closed the door behind him.

Eve turned around to take back her seat near Ivy but paused and looked at her. Ivy had been watching Eve a bit too closely. "What?"

"Does Eve Harper have a date?"

"Maybe"

Eve sat back down into her chair and also back into an awkward silence. Ivy was just beginning to relax and think clearly about the day before she heard a scream and looked around hurriedly.

"I got a date!' Eve sang, jumping up and grabbing Ivy by the arms, twirling her around.

"Hear that Maria? Eve Harper has got a date tonight!" Eve called over to the secretary who smiled back at the over excited Eve and poor Ivy who didn't know what the hell was going on, seeing as she was being swung all over the place.

Ivy fell though, as soon as Eve let go after Harley and the principal returned. Ivy landed on the floor with a thud and whacked her head off of the leg of the table that was holding some oversized plant.

_Lovely, another injury to add to today's collection._

**Well there you have it. Eve used that Irish charm and Ivy is warming up to her hot teacher...and also got into her first fight. Don't they just grow up so quickly?  
Review!**

**xxx**


	13. I Got A Jar Of Dirt

**A new chapter!  
This one was written by Sweeney. Sparrow. ! So that is why it is so awesome.  
Also there IS a storyline to this, it's not ALL romance, but it help the storyline and the plot.  
I know what I'm doing!**

**Skitz ;)**

Ivy wasn't jealous of Eve. She wasn't bothered that, while Eve was out on a lovely little date, she was sitting on her bed reading a book. She was worried though. All these horrible situations that Eve could be in ran through her head. She wanted to text her and ask her if she was OK but after the first 23 texts she had sent to her, Eve had gotten annoyed and sent Ivy a text saying she was going to kill herself if she received one more text off of Ivy.

"Knock, knock, I'm coming in!" The Joker's voice said from outside her door. He was soon strolling into the room, not caring that he was interrupting Ivy from her reading session. "How are you this evening lonely pony?"

"I'm not lonely." Ivy mumbled, as she put her book down on the bed. "I like being on my own."

"No you don't." The Joker growled. Ivy didn't say anything. She looked at her lap and tried not to act as scared as she truly was. She hated being alone with The Joker. She clearly wasn't his favourite. He seemed to only like her when he was hurting her. "I've gotten you a date." The Joker said proudly.

"What?" Ivy hissed.

"I though that's what girls like." The Joker said with a slight frown. "Going on dates."

"I don't. I'd rather stay here, on my own." Ivy mumbled. The Joker sighed and lunged forward. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet.

"No. I spent a whole minute picking out one of my men for you, so stop being an ungrateful little orangutan." The Joker snapped. Ivy raised an eyebrow as she was pulled out of the room.

"Well that's original." She said sarcastically. "I haven't heard that before." The Joker stopped and pointed his finger at her face.

"Stop with the sarcasm." He growled. Ivy stiffened and nervously took a step back.

"I-I-I just meant… I like orangutans." She mumbled. The Joker carried on dragging her down corridors until they got to a small grey room with a small table in the middle of the room with, what appeared to be, some sort of salad separated onto two plates. Sitting at the table was a muscular man with a shaven head. He looked a few years older than Ivy and he wasn't _that _bad looking, but if there was one thing Ivy couldn't stand in a man, it was shaven heads.

"I don't feel well. I'm tired. I have homework. There's something on the television I want to watch." Ivy mumbled, throwing all of the excuses that she could think of out there.

"Sit down." The Joker growled, as he pushed her down into a chair opposite the boy. "This is Finley. He's your date."

"Why do you hate me?" Ivy hissed quietly. The Joker chuckled and patted her shoulder before leaving the room.

"Hey sexy." Finley winked. Ivy held back a groan.

"Don't call me that." She mumbled, as she let her head fall into her arms, which were crossed on the table.

"What?" Finley asked, obviously new to being rejected. Ivy frowned and peeked up.

"I don't want someone I only just met to tell me I am sexy." She said.

"Why?" Finley grunted.

"Because that word means sexually interesting or sexually exciting." Ivy said quietly. "I don't like the idea that you are thinking of having sex with me."

"Well that would be nice." Finley grinned, as his fingers danced up Ivy's arm. She shot back as if he had given her an electric shock.

"You're not getting this are you?" She asked, with a shake of her head. Finley glared at her before grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer to the table.

"Eat up." He hissed. "You look like you need it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ivy snapped, as she rubbed her sore wrist.

"I only date girls with meat on their bones. Not ones that look ill." He growled. Ivy frowned. "Oh and wear some fake tan."

"Never!" Ivy almost screamed.

"But you're almost transparent."

"Maybe I like being almost transparent. I'll never wear fake tan. No one can make me. I like being pale." Ivy babbled, before slowly sinking down into her seat. "You know you're not nice."

"And you're not pretty." Finley chuckled. It felt like a punch in the stomach to Ivy. Her shoulders slumped. She knew Eve wouldn't take that. Oh, why couldn't she be like Eve? "I told you to eat!" Finley growled, as he grabbed her wrist, yet again, and slammed it onto her plate. She hissed in pain and glared at the boy.

"I'll be right back." She said, before standing up and running out of the room. She headed back to her room, planning on locking herself in there until Eve came back.

"I'll sort it out… just…uh… go and get a rope." The Joker's voice said. Ivy panicked. She knew The Joker would be annoyed if he found out that she wasn't doing what he had said. She quickly pushed open a door and stumbled into a room. She leant against the door for a few seconds until she heard The Joker walk past. Once her heart had gone back to its normal rate, she spun around to inspect the room she was in.

She almost exploded with joy. There were photographs stuck all over the wall. They were very artistic and professional looking. There were some of The Joker, some of Harley, there was even one of Batman. There were photography books filling a bookcase, which covered a wall of the room. On the other walls were neat posters of famous photographs, some of which Ivy recognised. There was a bed in the corner of the room next to a mini fridge and a television which hung on the wall opposite the foot of the bed. It was all very neat and artistic.

"I'm in heaven." Ivy mumbled happily. She skipped over to the book case, not caring about whose room she was in, and picked out a book before sitting on the floor and reading it.

A few minutes later and she heard the creak of the door open. Snapping her head up, she saw a boy, a couple of years older than her, staring down at her. He had messy dark blonde hair and pale blue eyes which stared at her as if she was a giant bug. He had a large camera on a strap around his neck which led Ivy to believe that this was his room.

"There's a hostage in my room." He said in an English accent. "There's a ginger hostage in my room."

"Please don't tell The Joker." Ivy begged, as she quickly slid his book back on the shelf and leapt to her feet. "I'm sorry I was in your room… I just… like to read… and I like photography."

"Were you running from The Joker?" The boy asked. Ivy shifted uncomfortably. She didn't want this rather gorgeous male to think she was scared or weak.

"No." She said, as she crossed her arms across her chest. She looked away and tried to seem brave.

"Well you weren't running to hug him were you?" The boy chuckled. A small smile tugged at Ivy's lips. _You don't know how I used to feel about that sexy clown_, she thought. She felt herself blush when she thought of what everyone would think if she was still hopelessly obsessed with The Joker. "Are you blushing?" The boy giggled.

"No." Ivy snapped, as she spun around so her back was facing the boy.

"Can you only say 'no'?" He asked with a smirk.

"No! I mean… I can say… better words." Ivy said awkwardly. She winced. "How did you know I was running anyway?"

"I followed you." The boy said. Ivy spun around and stared at him with wide eyes.

"You followed me?" She gasped.

"Yeah." The boy shrugged. "I wanted to take some photographs of you because I like your hair colour but you ran before I could get near you. Then you went into my room and one of the older goons robbed my camera."

"You poor thing." Ivy chuckled sarcastically. "Do you want me to go and tell Mr Joker?"

"I got it back!" The boy said. He smiled and offered his hand. "I'm Rory by the way."

"I'm Ivy." Ivy smiled, as she shook the boy's hand. She looked at his camera, before grinning like an insane person. "I had this camera once!" Then her face fell when she remembered what had happened to it.

"Did it break?" Rory asked.

"Harley stomped on it." Ivy grunted. Rory gasped as if Ivy had explained that Ivy had killed her kitten. "Eve got drunk and told her and The Joker that I called them freaks so they stomped on my camera."

"Were you ok?" Rory asked, as if he actually cared. Ivy thought for a second he was making fun of her but his eyes were full of concern.

"No. I cried so they made fun of me and spat on me." Ivy said quietly.

"You poor thing." Rory gasped. "I had one of my cameras broken by Jonathan Crane once because I tried to get a dramatic photograph of him without him noticing, which was a bit stupid seeing as I had my ring flash attached, well he noticed and started shouting at me. Then he called my ring flash 'idiotic looking' so I called his face 'idiotic looking'. So he broke my camera… and my arm."

"He's a bitch." Ivy nodded.

"Who's a bitch? You're a bitch! Yes I agree!" The Joker said, as he walked into the room. Ivy groaned and covered her face with her hands. The Joker's arm draped over her shoulder and he lowered is head so his mouth was next to her ear.

"Why aren't you with your date?" He hissed.

"I-I-I didn't feel very well." Ivy lied.

"Really?" The Joker asked.

"Oh yeah… she was looking for the bathroom." Rory said. The Joker looked at him and then back at Ivy.

"Nice try." He chuckled. "Now excuse us camera-boy while I go and punish young Ivy here for not obeying my orders." Ivy didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Rory because The Joker yanked her out of the room by her hair.

"Ouch!" She screamed, as she was pulled down the corridor. "Get off of my hair!" He simply ignored her until they got to her room. He threw her on the floor causing her to get carpet burn up her arms. The Joker was about to leave the room when Ivy leapt to her feet.

"I thought I was getting punished?" She asked with her hands on her hips. The Joker shrugged.

"I can't be bothered at the moment." He said, before leaving the room. Ivy stared at the door he just exited and cocked her head to the side.

/

"Die! Die stupid spider! Die!" Eve growled, as she slammed her fist down on the wooden bridge she was sitting on. The spider scurried off of the bridge before the Irish girl could kill it. Letting out a dramatic sigh, she looked up and saw Donny smirking at her. They had been sitting in this forest for a while now and the stars had begun to twinkle above them as they ate their picnic.

"Do carry on." Donny said. "I like watching you." Eve blushed and looked down at the uneaten food on her plate.

"How do you eat this stuff?" She asked, changing the subject. "Irish food is nicer. I can't believe you haven't tried half the things I like. You're a freak."

"That's not nice." Donny pouted. Eve gave him a small punch on the arm and fell backwards so she was lying down on the bridge. Donny fell next to her and they looked at the stars. "How are you finding Gotham?"

"It's… OK." Eve said. "I miss Ireland though."

"I thought I had given you a warm welcome." Donny joked. He cleared his throat before stretching his arms in the air as if trying to grab a few stars. "Welcome to the land of the freaks. Welcome to the city that is like a real life cartoon with its good guys and bad guys. We're a twisted bunch but I hope you can stick around this hell hole! You're the only angel we've had down here in a while."

Eve looked at him and he looked at her.

"I'm not an angel." She murmured, as she looked into his eyes.

"My angel." He whispered with a slight smile. It was silent and Donnie leant over. Eve's heart started hammering against her chest. This was it. He was going to kiss her. He was really going to kiss her.

The song '_I got a jar of dirt'_ rang out, ripping through the clear night and breaking the romantic mood. Letting out a groan, Eve reached into her pocket and picked out her phone which was ringing.

"I should take this." She mumbled sadly. Donny nodded, although on the inside he was sighing. Somebody had ruined his romantic moment and he didn't like it. He listened to what Eve was saying when she answered the phone. He knew he shouldn't but she was an interesting creature.

"What do you want? What? Calm down… well has he punished you… no… then don't worry… no…Ivy listen to me… stop crying… what did you do? Yeah…uh huh… he didn't? He did? He said what? I'll kill him! No he was not right! Please don't cry… breathe… breathe… you're just paranoid… see saying I'm on his side is just being more paranoid… Ok… Ok… don't cry… Ok… Ok… I'll be ten minutes… Ok? Ok… love you… bye." Eve said to whoever was on the other end of the line. She let out a sigh and hung up. She looked at Donny sadly. "I need to get home. I'm sorry but my sister's really upset."

"Where are your parents?" Donny asked, as he helped Eve collect their things.

"They don't know what to do with a sad Ivy. I swear to God, that house would fall apart without me." She said. "But we'll see each other soon. I promise."

/

When Eve got home, she walked into a corridor full of chaos. Harley was going insane… well a bit more insane, while The Joker calmly leant against a wall with a smirk on his face.

"What's going on?" Eve sighed, as she threw her bag on the floor. She was rather annoyed no one had noticed her come in or even felt the need to ask about her date.

"Ivy's killed herself." The Joker said casually.

"I came to see if she wanted any dinner and she told me she was too busy committing suicide." Harley said, as she banged her fists on the door. Eve rolled her eyes before kicking the door open. Ivy stood there in the middle of the room in her 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle' pyjamas while holding a stuffed bear in her hand.

"You said you were going to kill yourself!" Harley gasped, as she ran into the room and wrapped her arms around Ivy, pulling her into a hug.

"I had a bubble bath instead." Ivy said with a smile. Harley pulled away and frowned. "Sorry to disappoint." Ivy grumbled.

"How very English of you!" Eve said in a fake English accent, as she strolled into the room. She threw her bag on the floor and collapsed onto Ivy's bed as if it was her own. "Would you like a cup of tea as well?"

"Yes!" Ivy grinned, not getting the joke. "I'm gasping for one!"

"You seem to get more British every time we're separated." Eve mumbled. She closed her eyes while Ivy got rid of the clowns. She was careful not to go near The Joker, who was grinning like the insane man he was. He still hadn't punished her yet, so she was happy when she finally shut the door.

"So… how was it?" Ivy asked. Eve bolted up and grinned just like The Joker had. She then hurtled herself into a two hour explanation of how perfect their date was going… until Ivy ruined it, that was. Ivy knew she would never live that down.

She knew that on her grave it may say: _Ivy Mumford, the girl who ruined Eve Harper's goddamn date._

/

The next day, Jonathan Crane came around for dinner. Eve and Ivy sat next to each other while The Joker sat opposite them and kicked Ivy repeatedly under the table. Harley sat next to him and Crane sat at the head of the table next to Eve, who was trying to sound clever.

"Did you know eating to many bananas can give you potassium poisoning?" She asked. Nobody replied, so she took that shocked silence at how amazingly clever she was. Ivy just nibbled at her food, kicked The Joker back and stayed silent. Eventually Jonathan got curious.

"Why are you so quiet today?" He asked her.

"I learnt my lesson." Ivy replied, while in her mind she was screaming '_camera murderer'. _Jonathan smirked and leant in.

"And what would that be?" He asked. Ivy looked down at her plate and pushed the food around with her fork.

"Not to talk to Arkham escapees." She mumbled quietly, so only Eve could hear. Eve tried to hide her giggles by rubbing her face.

"What?" Jonathan asked.

"Oh, not to act better than those much more superior than myself!" Ivy said, so everyone could hear. "Now, may I be excused? I have homework to do." Without waiting for an answer, Ivy skipped out of the room.

When she got to her room, the door was open a crack and the song _Sigh No More_ by _Mumford and Sons _was on full blast. Ivy raised an eyebrow and crept into her room. She was surprised by what she saw.

Rory was on a step ladder, pinning photographs to her wall while singing the lyrics to the song that filled the room. Ivy flicked the switch on the CD player, causing the music to come to a stop, and stared up at Rory with a curious expression on her pale face. Rory carried on singing for a few seconds before slowly turning around and wincing.

"Hello." He said awkwardly.

"What are you doing in my room?" Ivy asked. She took a few steps closer and saw the photographs on her wall were hers, although a few were somebody else's. "Why are you sticking my photographs on my wall?"

"Hey… some of them are mine." He said, as he pointed a finger at her. "They shouldn't be hidden in a little box. Some of these are quite good. They need to be on show. Mine are just up there for…inspiration."

"You're so full of yourself." Ivy laughed.

"I am not." Rory snapped. "I just know I'm… better." He turned his body around to face her and tried to walk down the ladder backwards in an attempted to look cool. It failed. His foot slipped and he fell forwards. Ivy let out a scream as she was crushed underneath him, while Rory let out a manly yell of shock. Ivy groaned in pain as she felt his elbow digging into her ribs.

"Well, well, well, what's going on here?" Eve's voice giggled. The pair looked up and saw Eve standing in the doorway. "I think Mr J would like to see this. Maybe if I show him I'll get extra dessert!" She reached for the camera, which lay on Ivy's bed but Rory was off of Ivy in a few seconds and was right next to Eve. He leant down so their faces were only centimetres away and pointed at her.

"Don't tell The Joker." He growled, in the most threatening voice he could muster up, before storming out of the room.

"He was a moody one." Eve giggled, while Ivy sat up and ran her hands across her face.

"He's never coming back." She groaned.

"Who was he?" Eve asked, as she switched on Ivy's camera and began strolling through the photographs on the screen.

"Nobody." Ivy sighed.

"You and he were practically _doing it_. Don't say he was nothing because I'm not stupid." Eve mumbled.

"He was a prostitute." Ivy said, with no hint of sarcasm in her tone. Eve looked up and saw her friend walking closer with a dark look on her face. "We _were_ doing it and we were also planning on how to kill you."

"You scare me." Eve nodded, before striding to her room.

/

"You're all insane!" Ivy screamed, as she struggled against the ropes which held her to a chair. Eve, The Joker and Harley Quinn all stared down at her. She was confused as to why she was there. Eve had thrown a paper bag over her head before dragging her to a room and tying her up. Although she couldn't say this was out of character for the Irish girl. She was a bit weird at times.

"Tell me who that boy was!" Eve yelled. Ivy rolled her eyes and slumped in her chair.

"You're not still going on about this are you?" She asked. "I told you. He was nobody."

"Nobody is nobody!" Eve snapped. The Joker, who had been walking around the two girls in a circle, finally stood in front of Ivy, pushing Eve out of the way with a harsh shove.

"Tell us who he was." The Joker said in a dark voice. Ivy shook her head, causing her red hair to bounce around her face. There was a flash of purple and suddenly The Joker had his knife in his hand. He held it in front of Ivy's face. "Tell me… or I'll uh… kill him."

"How can you kill him if you don't know who he is?" Ivy giggled. There was another blur of purple and pain filled Ivy's thigh. She screamed out in pain and doubled over the best she could with the ropes tying her to the chair. Her forehead ended up resting on The Joker's stomach, as he stood in front of her laughing.

"You stabbed me in the goddamn leg." Ivy gasped. "You're being overdramatic."

"You said you wouldn't hurt her!" Eve yelled, as she yanked the knife out of her friend's thigh, hitting her in the nose in the process. Ivy let out another yelp of pain and threw her head back. "You promised me this was painless torture."

"I'm full of broken promises, Leprechaun!" The Joker cackled.

"You believed him!" Ivy said, forcing a laugh. "Are you blonde?"

"Hey!" Harley snapped. Ivy rolled her eyes and sunk in her seat.

"Give it up. We know you're not a real blonde." Ivy growled. She rolled her eyes and looked over at The Joker and Eve. "Look, believe me when I say, I don't know who this guy is."

"They why was he in your room?" Eve asked. Ivy shrugged.

"The Joker gets his men from Arkham. This guy must have been a crazy."

"Why are you in denial?" Eve moaned. "Just admit you like him and we can get over this."

"I don't like boys." Ivy snapped. "Or girls. I don't like people." Eve rolled her eyes and sunk to her knees.

"I give up." She wailed. Ivy smiled and gave her a quick nod.

"I win." She uttered under her breath.

**And there you go!  
Thank you for your reviews, PLEASE keep them coming, it makes update faster!**

**xxx**


	14. Confidence

**CaptainSkitzoVamp: I am so sorry for the delay in this short chapter but things got hectic, and now there is a new year of education and exam results etc, this chapter was done by Sweeney. Sparrow. Joker. Love but she was too lazy to do an authors note.**

**Enjoy!**

One Month Later

Eve and Donny were walking around the park talking, the very same park that they had been to the night of their 'almost kiss'. Donny loved making Eve talk and she loved responding but she was hell bent on learning about him too. She didn't want their relationship to be all about her, she knew that they saw each other as boyfriend and girlfriend but it still bugged her how they hadn't kissed yet. But she could tell that Donny was decent, so far she had learned that his mother had died when he was a child, courtesy of an Arkham breakout, lived with his father and two brothers, he was the eldest and his favourite colour was green, like her.

But Donny had sparked something else inside her too, although he didn't know it. She had been starting to feel a bit home-sick, which was odd considering that she never thought of home and when she _had _been at home, she had only dreamed of leaving the place. He asked her a lot about herself and Ireland so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her but it felt odd. It was as if a strange fog was beginning to be lifted from her eyes.

But thinking back to that kiss, by way of trying to not think about home, Eve was getting impatient. And if there was something that Eve Harper couldn't do, it was dance around the bush.

"Donny?" she asked, stopping midstride and looking up at him.

"Yeah?" he asked, stopping always, eyes wide and a smile on his face, looking down at her also.

Eve didn't hesitate and decided to dive in with both feet as she jumped up and threw her arms around Donny's neck, throwing him off guard. She reached up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to his. He didn't move at first, shocked at what she had done but she could feel his lips tug into a smile against hers. His arms snuck around her waist as their lips moved against each other. Eve couldn't help but feel overjoyed when she felt Donny's tongue dance over her lip, asking for entrance. He was usually so shy but he had done this, which made her fill up a bit with pride. She gotten him out of his shell in that sense.

When they broke apart, they still held onto each other, forehead leaning against forehead.

"What was that for?" Donny breathed, his warm breath tickling Eves face and making her giggle lightly.

"I felt like it" Eve giggled, "Just let loose, don't worry about regrets and live your life"

"That sounds like it should be a song"

Eve giggled at up at him, her big emerald eyes shining up at him, leaving the boy in a trance. "I suppose that this makes up like…boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah" Donny replied, a bit too quickly, making Eve giggle again which made Donny nervous before he hastily added, "Only if you want to, I mean" He dropped his gaze down towards his shoes.

"I'd like that" Eve responded in a gentle voice, she nervously bit her lip, "I'd like that very much. You're not like the others"

"I think that odd people find their matches out there that they can find mutual interests with"

"Well we found each other, so there has to be some truth in that sentence, not trying to sound cheesy or anything" Eve said, as both teens began to continue to walk again. She really liked Donny but he was making her think of home, and the more he did that, the more she missed it. She missed having nowhere to go and being ignored, maybe being here had a purpose, what if it was like in Back to the Future and once she returned home, life would be better? Home wasn't the typical green grass, but it wasn't like any other place in the planet, she didn't live in a big city but she didn't live in a field either. Home was home and she only wished that she could show Donny. Maybe they were in a coma or a really crazy dream and once she woke up she would figure out that Donny was just an image in a magazine she had seen from before she went to bed. But she decided to cherish the time she had with him, no matter what the circumstances were. She squeezed his hand tightly and smiled up at him as they headed to the nearest diner.

/

Ivy was 99% sure she was going insane.

The Joker had stabbed her for not giving away Rory's identity, yet here she was, spending as much time as possible with him.

Surely that meant she was insane.

That or she just liked Rory an awful lot.

He had shown Ivy a secret room that he had found which had been used by the previous tenants, apparently it was a panic room, which was what Ivy had begun to do when she had been shown it for the first time.

Panic.

The room was so small, it was claustrophobic but Rory had decorated the room with fairy lights and pictures on the walls to make it more comfortable.

They were currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of said room, Rory watching Ivy and listening intently as she told him about Eve and Donny and how she had been tied up for information on the English teens.

"I don't get it, it's alright for Eve to go on a date with some bloke but if I'm even caught socializing with one, I get stabbed in the leg!" Ivy cried in exasperation, her arms flailing around over her head.

Rory watched her in amusement, before quickly turning to a look of worry, "Stabbed, are you alright?"

Ivy froze, her wide eyes staring into his blue ones, "Erm, did I say stabbed? Oh I'm just exaggerating, I do that a lot, I just got a cut, it's fine now"  
She hadn't told him about how she couldn't seem to die, or how she could miraculously recover on the spot, it wasn't exactly something you mentioned to a nice goon that didn't scare you, looked hot AND shared your interests with.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get you into trouble. Why did you do it?" Rory asked, almost annoyed, thus making Ivy a bit anxious.

"What, What do you mean?"

"Why did you cover for me when you could have saved yourself, why did you let the Joker hurt you like that?"

"Because…"

"Because?" Rory pressed on, making Ivy even more uncomfortable. What could she say? _Oh nothing much, only I have the biggest crush ever on you/ Oh you are so darn cute? /Because the Joker would have killed you and I'm not sure that I can live without you?_

_Yeah Ivy, that's exactly what you tell him_, she thought sarcastically.

"Because you are my only friend that I have at the moment" she replied a bit sadly.

"What about Eve?"

"She isn't here anymore is she? She's has Donny now. We're all replaceable I guess."

"I doubt that."

"Why?"

"Because, how could anyone replace you? You're amazing! I mean you don't like fighting with people, you have talent and brains...I think that Eve just likes having a bit of male company, from what you told me about her I suppose that she just misses it, seeing as she always hung out with guys back home. Girls can backstab so I understand her view on things there but I think she just likes having a guy around just like you do with me. The only difference is the fact that Eve and this Donny fella are romantically involved, whereas we're not." Rory said, wisdom in his voice and understanding, which made Ivy's heart melt.

_But I'd like to_ she thought sadly, watching Rory as he spoke, hooked on every word he had to say. Soon he pulled out his guitar from the wall it was leaning on and began playing a tune that Ivy vaguely knew while she sat with her back against the wall and her eyes closed.

"We should probably head back up. I'm starving." He said. Ivy's smile fell before being replaced with an uncertain one.

"You can. I think I'll stay down here for a few more minutes… or hours… or days… or maybe even years." She said happily. Rory stood up and looked down at her. He placed his guitar down on the floor without looking away from her.

"Why?" He asked. "What have you done?"

"Nothing." She shrugged. Rory looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. She sighed and threw her head down into her hands. "I'm in so much trouble. They're going to murder me."

"What did you do?" Rory asked, rather shocked that she'd do anything to deserve death.

"Well I found Harley's diary… and I looked through it." Ivy said slowly. "Apart from writing some not very nice things about me she had an awful lot of grammar mistakes in there."

"Go on…" Rory said slowly.

"So I corrected them for her." She said. "I cannot stand stupid grammar mistakes. I was only trying to help. She didn't see it that way of course."

"Fine." Rory smiled. "I guess we'll have to stay here until we die." He shrugged and sat back down. "Well until our bladders burst because there's no bathroom down here." Ivy's eyes widened. She suddenly had the desperate urge to go to the toilet. She frowned and stood up.

"I'll be right back."

Ivy didn't get very far. She got to the long corridor and, as she tried to creep through quietly, was slammed against the wall by her neck. She let out a scream of shock and began to claw on the hand that was holding her neck.

"You're in so much trouble missy." Harley's voice hissed.

"What's going on?" Eve's voice asked happily. Ivy turned her head and saw Eve skipping down the corridor. She must have just come in because she had her bag slung over her shoulder still and her shoes still on her feet. "What has Ivy done now?"

"I made a few little corrections in Harley's diary and everyone's gone crazy over it!" Ivy yelled angrily. The grip on her neck got tighter. She could feel Harley's long nails dig into her skin as her air supply was cut off.

"Let go of her! She can't breathe." Eve snapped angrily. Harley looked over her shoulder to Eve before letting go of Ivy who fell to the floor and tried to get her breathing back to normal.

"I'm going to be sick." She groaned as she held her head in her hands.

"Well I say…" The Joker's voice drawled. He was walking down the corridor towards the girls, his shoes making a thudding noise as he got closer and closer to the small group. "Ivy is certainly becoming a nui_sance._" He eventually got to the girls and stood in between Eve and Harley. He looked down at Ivy as he lazily got his knife out of his pocket. He began to play about with it in his hand as he stared down at the girl. "Maybe we should just get rid of her."

It would be a lie if Ivy said that sentence didn't strike fear in her. She glared up at the clown before straightening her back and trying to look innocent.

"I can't help it if I'm smarter than you and Arkham's finest whore." She smiled. She nodded her head towards Harley and winked. "That's you, by the way." Harley let out a high pitch shriek of anger and kicked Ivy in the ribs sharply. Ivy groaned and doubled over. "It's still true." She grumbled.

"Maybe we should just sell you." The Joker chuckled. "I'm sure Jonathan Crane would appreciate your sense of …erm… superiority." Ivy giggled nervously and shook her head.

"That won't be necessary." She said.

"Oh I'm sure he'll just _adore_ you." The Joker grinned. "I'll go and call him now. Better start packing. Maybe Eve will help you." He walked down the corridor with Harley following. Eve frowned down at Ivy who stood up and brushed the dirt off of her clothes.

"He's not serious." Ivy said with a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "He can't be. Come on. Let's go play cards." Eve bit her lip but followed her friend back to the bedroom anyway.

/

"Ivy!" The Joker's called, his voice happy with a hint of mischief in it. Ivy smiled although Eve could tell it was fake.

"He's come to say sorry." Ivy said with a nod of her head.

"No he hasn't." Eve grumbled. "Why are you being so…erm, confident lately?" Ivy opened her mouth to answer when the door was thrown open. The two girls looked up and saw three adults standing in the doorway. The Joker, Harley and none other than Jonathan Crane. Ivy leapt to her feet and Eve raised her eyebrows.

"Told you he wasn't here to say sorry." She grumbled as she lay her cards down on the floor in front of her.

"Are you ready to leave?" The Joker asked, making a large gesture as if looking around the room. "No bags?"

"I'm not going with him. He breaks cameras." Ivy grumbled, her previous shyness coming back. The Joker took a few swift steps towards her, causing her to take more steps back. "Come on… I was going to take photos of Eve tomorrow! Please! Harley I'm sorry. You're all just over-reacting." She groaned in annoyance when The Joker grabbed her wrist.

"Let her go!" Eve yelled as she stood up. She felt rather helpless watching her friend being taken away. Ivy was dragged over to Jonathan Crane where she quickly stomped down on his foot. Eve let out a laugh but it was cut short when Jonathan Crane pulled a syringe out of his pocket. Ivy, who was still in The Joker's grip, couldn't escape. Eve watched in horror as the needle was stabbed into her friend's neck. After a few seconds Ivy's screams died down and her eyes fluttered closed. Her body slumped in The Joker's hold while Jonathan put the syringe back in his pocket.

"You boy." Jonathan said with a wave of his hand. Eve watched as one of The Joker's henchmen came in. She recognised him. He was the boy who was in their room that one time, putting up photographs up on Ivy's wall. "Take the girl to my car." The boy frowned and looked down at Ivy. The Joker thrust her into his arms.

"What's going on?" The boy asked, as he shifted the teenager in his arms. The Joker looked up and clicked his tongue.

"Why do you care?" He asked. "You're not paid to care."

"I'm just curious." The boy grumbled as he carried Ivy out of the room.

"This isn't fair!" Eve screamed, as Crane left with a smirk on his face. "You can't just give her away! Harley's been a drama queen. It's just a bit of grammar correcting. You get used to it." The clowns ignored her and walked out of the room. She wanted to scream and punch everything in sight but that wouldn't help. No.

Her first mission to help get her friend back was to find out who the hell that boy was and why he was so interested in Ivy.

**And there you have it, Ivy has been sold..that was a little TOO civil for the Joker dontcha think? Anywho, please review! Oh and I have a facebook page , the link is on my page , or either click on 'homepage' above my avatar, once you add me, you can find Sweeney's page!**

**Review!**

**xxx**


	15. Escape To The Blondes

**So here is your VERY longly awaited chapter. Sorry. But the New Years Resolution is to finish the story. Sorry if it lets you down but we're getting back into the swing of things now. No exams this year :D**

Cranes hideout was certainly different to that of the Joker's. It had more taste and was much more elegant. He seemed to be a bit of a history freak with all of his tapestries and pictures that looked at _least_ a century old, of course Ivy wouldn't say that to his face though, she cherished her life too much.

After they had arrived at the hideout, which looked too normal to be raided, which was probably the intention, Ivy was dragged inside by a goon, along corridors and down hallways before she was thrown into a room. The room was a cream colour which was a huge cry from her room back with the Joker. A large four poster bed was in the centre of the room and a huge window, with a seat-like windowsill covered in lace, was at the wall opposite her. There was a dresser and one of those mirror things on a table with hairbrushes. The entire room looked like it belonged in an antique store with its pastel colour scheme and laces and objects which were more like artefacts. To Ivy it was like walking into Johanna Barker's room in Sweeney Todd.

Beside the mirror stood a bookcase which was filled with old hardbacks that were probably older than the bed, which seemed aged enough as it was. Ivy pulled one of them down and spotted the title. Oh yeah, she thought, it's old. She was terrified to open it in case the entire thing would fall apart in her hands, it felt fragile. She let her eyes sweep across all the authors names on the bookcase. Shakespeare, Austin, Joyce, Dickins, she also spotted Burnett, Lewis Carroll and Barry, probably Crane being funny with the children's books. Ivy couldn't help but scoff at how he thought of her as a child, she admitted that she was a minor but she _wasn't_ a child! No matter how many times Eve told her she was.

Just as she put the book back, the door was flown open, obviously by someone who didn't appreciate the property of others, or history for that matter. A large bald goon walked in. "The boss will see you now". Ivy didn't argue and followed him out of the room. Seriously where did he get these goons? Was there as Goon Club? Did they have a Trade Union amongst themselves? Was there a black market or a dial up number where you ordered them? Were they sold like her? And who was Crane to have someone fetch her like that and make her feel like she should be privileged to be in the great doctor's presence as if he was a God of some sort? Were goons actually brainwashed, or did they prefer some other word and found the word 'Goon' racist?

As they walked down the hallway, the goon let out an annoyed breath and grabbed Ivy by the wrist, dragging her the rest of the way, before throwing her into another room. She was really beginning to get tired of that. She rubbed her wrist and looked up to see Crane seated on a chair by a fancy dinner table. Ivy was surprised that it wasn't one of those tables where you had to scream for the salt. Still rubbing her wrist, she said "You know you should really consider changing your name to Allah or Jesus. You certainly act like a God."

"Oh Ivy dear, how I have missed your annoying quirks." Crane said from the table, sarcastically, reminding Ivy of Beckett from Pirates of the Caribbean. Was it odd that every movie she was reminded of here had Johnny Depp in it in some shape or form? "Please, take a seat."

Ivy didn't have a chance to make her mind as another goon pushed her into the chair across from Crane. He studied her for a few minutes before finally saying, "You really think you're smart don't you."

"You can't say much, you'd be a hypocrite if _you_ denied it."

"Oh please. You probably can't even be able to spell your own name!"

"Actually I can, excuse you." Ivy noticed Crane's lip twitch at this and she didn't know if it was because of the fact that she could or the fact that she had 'excused him.'

Ivy was torn between pride and fear at that one twitch. That twitch either meant that he found her amusing and was beginning to like her, which made her even more conflicted because he had always been her favourite character next to Joker, but that twitch could also have meant that she had pissed him off and he was planning some of the most vicious forms of torture he could think of, and seeing as he was a genius he was probably coming up with numerous amounts of Medieval ideas.

"Bravo?" Crane called, not raising his soft and controlled voice or taking his eyes off the red haired English girl.

"Yes boss?" came the reply of a man who entered the room.

"Take Miss Mumford back to her room. I'm sure she has much she needs to dwell on."

And with that 'Bravo' grabbed Ivy by her upper arms, squeezing so hard that Ivy could practically feel the bruise coming, and dragged her out of the room only to be dragged down the hallway and toward her room.

"Why Bravo? Why not, Dylan or Tom? Did your parent's hate you or were they just stupid?"

"Bravo isn't my real name, you little brat, you honestly think we're that stupid, the boss has us assigned codenames." The man calling himself Bravo growled between his teeth and shook the teenager roughly, before adding the usual classic line of, "Now shut your pie hole!"

Ivy was shoved into her room and left standing in complete silence. Her talk with Crane hadn't done anything, with no future plans of what he was going to do with her or why he bought her, even though it was probably just to be used as a guinea pig. Ivy thought that Crane always had everything planned out, but when it came to humans and the social world he was a complete and utter blank but she couldn't blame him because she had to agree that people sucked. Her fight in school and the run ins with Marty had proven that.

There was no point in sticking around here if she was going to get no answers so Ivy ran over to the vanity table and began ramsacking the drawers. She pulled out a nail file and rushed to the window, instantly trying to pick the lock, as she knelt on the pillows of the windowsill seat, a look of utter determination of her face as her brows furrowed.

Five minutes later she heard a click and paused. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She opened the window quietly while silently thanking the fact that the old fashioned windows didn't speak like she would have expected. She looked over the ledge to see a dumpster right below her.

Well, she though, this is it.

000

Eve was missing Ivy. They were like Yin and Yang, Salt and Pepper, Elena and Katherine, Jack Sparrow and Cutler Beckett, Black and White. They were like those angels and demons on your shoulder. Ivy kept her balanced and prevented her from doing anything rash, just as Eve pulled and dragged Ivy out to let loose every once in a while.

It wasn't fair. And to make matters worse, the Joker was constantly gone and Harley was forever asking Eve how she felt. If Ivy were there, she would've kicked Harley out, or bitten her again, because she knew how much Eve hated that question. She knew the history that question held for Eve.

She lay on the floor of the joining closet, underneath the clothes rack and hiding behind the stacks of boxes and the trunks. She was used to hearing an English accent scolding her or warning her about kidney infections or back problems. It just wasn't the same anymore, and Eve was getting depressed, which wasn't like her. Gotham was supposed to be different, now it was as if she was at home again because Ivy hadn't been with her at home, seeing as she had lived in another country. Ivy was gone now, just as she had been then, only this time Eve was in a strange city. She was on her own.

And God only knew what she was doing right now. Or even worse, what Crane was doing to her.

Eve huffed, not wanting to over think. In fact, she didn't want to think about the whole thing at all. The more she thought, the sadder she got and that wouldn't be the safest thing to do here. If she got depressed Harley and the Joker could get fed up of her and leave her on the street alone to fend for herself, or they could kill her. Eve sighed, feeling the cold hard wood against her back.

She sat up and looked around the empty room, looking at Ivy's belongings that were surrounding her, causing a lump in Eve's throat. She didn't want to cry, she couldn't cry. She needed to smile around these people or she could wind up dead.

"Oh Eeeeeeeveeeee" came a sing song voice from down the hall. Eve jumped up, her eyes wide. She left the closet and ran into her room, jumping onto the bed and just lying down, as the door open to reveal Harley, a big smile on her face. "Hey you!" she smiled brightly, obviously delighted at the fact that Ivy was gone, then again she had no reason to miss her. Ivy _had_ bitten her finger after all.

"Hi Harls, what's up?" Eve said, trying to hide her depression and plastering a smile on her face as she sat up.

"Well" the Harliquin began, sitting on the corner of the bed, "I was just thinking about how you're probably not too happy about being on your own now, so I had a great idea. Why don't we get you a hair cut?"

"Seriously?"

"Why not?"

"A hair cut is going to make me forget Ivy?"

Eve watched as Harley's expression changed to one of anger and rage, one that had 'I'm either giving you back or murdering you slowly' all over it. Eve was quick to fix her mistake, "I'd love to. I've always wanted short hair"

"You'd look so cute" Harley agreed, all excited and happy again.

_Jeez is she bipolar or something?_ Eve couldn't help but think. As she slowly got to her feet and followed a bubbly Harley down hallways and through corridors.

000

Ivy was cold and starving and tired and a whole lot of other things, she thought as she walked down the darkening street, her arms wrapped around herself. She had some money with her but it was only around five dollars in change. She knew that she would have to use it wisely. Hell, she didn't even know if five dollars was a lot. She missed English currency. She tried not to cry in frustration. She had nowhere to go except for Crane's hideout or the Joker's and that was only appealing because Rory and Eve were there. This time last year if someone had told her what she would do if she had to choose, she would have made a smart remark about going to see them both but now that she was _really_ in this position, she regretted it. It also made her miss home, terribly. What she wouldn't give to be at home in her purple bedroom on her laptop to Eve and anxiously counting down that days until Eve would fly over to her country. Yet here she was, alone and cold in Gotham city with only five dollars change in her pocket. Not even five pounds.

She stared at the ground as she trudged along the side walk until she spotted a light shining ahead of her, causing her to look up and spot a pay phone.

Maybe there was hope after all in this god forsaken town. Oh great, now she sounded like Batman. Why couldn't he have appeared instead of forcing her to do what she was about to do?

000

_I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt and guess what's inside it!_

"What's that noise?"

"Just my phone"

"You know that phones don't work if you try to call home"

"I know, it's probably someone from school about homework" Eve replied, picking her phone out of her pocket as Harley removed the last of the foil from Eves hair and allowed her to leave the room for Eve to wash out her hair.

"Hello?" Eve whispered into the phone, thinking it could be Donny sneaking a call from a relatives house.

"Eve?"

"Ivy! Thank God! Where are you? Are you okay? Have you been gassed?"

"Shh, I need you to come get me. Now!"

"Where are you?"

"I don't know"

"Well what do you see?"

"Uh I don't know, skyscrapers? Jeez Eve"

Eve rolled at her eyes at the phone, even though she knew that Ivy was just nervous and wound up to ninety. She heard Ivy heave a sigh on the other end before she said, "Remember when we went shopping? And we said where we were?"

"Yeah?"

"Well its only down that street"

"Okay, stay put. I'm coming to get you"

000

Ivy stared at the payphone in disbelief. Eve had hung up on her. And how was Eve going to come get her anyway? Ivy pictured Eve behind the wheel of a white van and could only feel sorry for the other road users. What if she got caught trying to get a van? What would happen to her? Eve could wind up being punished and Ivy would be stuck here? A pimp could kidnap her and Eve would be bruised because Ivy wouldn't be there to get the blame as she usually was, although she had to admit that a side of her was sort of happy that she wasn't there for that reason, although the other side of her was guilty because she felt as if she had to protect her friend.

000

Eve hadn't bothered to wash her hair of the turquoise gunk that was in it and instead ran to where to vans were kept. She grabbed a key from the rack, only to be stopped when she heard a voice call out to her, "What are you doing?"

"I have to go and…meet some one"

She turned around and faced a boy barely older than herself. "You've heard from Ivy, is she okay?"

Eve found herself gawking at this boy for a few minutes, taking in his British accent and the look of concern in his eyes when he spoke of her best friend. She had to shake herself of and run to the van in order to allow her mind to return to normal. She was getting to Ivy and no one was stopping her.

"I'm coming with you" the guy called and yanked the keys out of Eve's hand. She pulled and face and looked up at him, daggers in her eyes. "Get in the passenger side, I'm driving"

000

Operation Save Ivy was beginning to get quiet interesting. Eve knew that she would find her friend but she also knew that this must have been the guy that the Joker had stabbed her over. And no wonder. Eve would take a bullet for a guy like him, she thought, as she looked him over again as he drove, his eyes steadily on the road as he dodged traffic, probably after years of experience in bank heists with the Joker.

"It's here"

Without hesitation Rory pulled in and killed the engine, as Eve jumped out and began to call for her friend. "Ivy!...Ives where are you?"

"Are you sure this is the place?" Rory asked Eve as he stood beside her. "Oh shut up" came the reply. Eve moved away from him and screamed again as loud as she could, "IVY!"

Eve stood there, trying to get back her breath, maybe she was wrong, maybe she wasn't going to find that red head that knew the British monarchy like the back of her hand. Eve could feel tear leaking her eye as she stared at the ground. She didn't want to be alone, she couldn't handle being alone. Why did she have to come here in the first place? Why couldn't she just have been normal and go to discos and meet guys every Saturday night like all the other girls, but no, Eve had to stand out and wind up in a fictional city. Some summer holiday this was turning out to be.

She was about to tell Rory that is was time to leave when she looked up and spotted a silloutte, maybe someone who had seen her and knew where she was. The shadow seemed to be moving closer. Eve new that if this person tried to attack her, she had one of the Jokers men to protect her but there was something about the way that this person moved that made Eve feel as if she needed to look at this person. The shadow came out of the darkness, revealing a main of red hair and wide blue teary eyes.

"Oh my God Ivy!" Eve ran to her friend and threw her arms around her. "Come on we have to get out of here"

Without a word, the shivering Ivy just nodded and got into the van with Eve, who had noticed how Rory hadn't taken his eyes off of the English girl once. He looked really concerned.

On the journey back to the hide out, it all clicked for Eve. Rory really _had_ been the guy that Ivy had been with. She hadn't ever had a problem with this, she had Donnie. She had only ever wanted the truth but the more she thought about it, the more she figured out the amount of trouble that the two would get into if the Joker ever found out. It would definitely mean death for at least one of them.

When they arrived home, Rory disappeared, leaving Eve alone to take care of Ivy and bring her back to their room without being seen. Once Ivy seemed settled, Eve decided to finally wash the crap out of her hair and dried it, purposefully making it messy looking. She liked the short hair, she thought as she looked in the mirror. She could have a lot of fun with the new shoulder length hair.

A sighing Eve walked back into Ivy's room, thinking about how hard it would be to tell the Joker and Harley about her friends return. Harley would be pleased but the Joker wouldn't care. If Eve was being honest, Harley used the girls as her play toys while the Joker never paid any attention to them. It was as if Harley begged for Eve and Ivy and was thrown at her, just to get her to shut up. Eve couldn't say that she blamed the Clown Prince. She would do anything to shut that blonde up too.

At first this whole thing had been fun but now she was missing her family, especially when Harley dyed her hair for her. If she were at home, her mother would have killed her for dying it.

"How are you feeling?" Eve asked as she sat down beside Ivy on the bed, a little worried that Ivy hadn't said anything in a while. That was not like her. Usually in a silence Ivy would tell Eve some pointless fact about British history and then get annoyed when someone pointed out that no one cared at all.

"Okay"

"Did he gas you?"

"No, I was just scared when I was waiting for you. It made me realize that if it weren't for you, I'd be on my own. I just want to go home…It was beginning to get fun after the fight and when I met Rory. I know that you know about him now. I just want to go home" Ivy cried into Eve's shoulder, her body racking with sobs.

000

It had been a day since Ivy had returned and as depressed as she was, she couldn't deny that she had seen a change in Eve. She wasn't just referring to the blonde hair. She was referring to the change in her demeanor. Eve wasn't sad but she wasn't her usually reckless hyper self.

It was odd. It was as if Eve had mentally grown up in less than three days.

One thing was for certain, with Eves new mentality or not, dinner time would be interesting tonight.

**There you go! Please Review. Might make us write faster! Remember to look up Sweeney. Sparrow. Joker. Love for her writings which are amazing!**

**XD**


	16. Tate And Benedict

**Quick thanks to everyone that reviewed and stuff while we were away but we're back now. Sorry if this isn't the best chapter. I know how this should be ending and stuff, well I've got a fair idea. Hope you've enjoyed them so far.  
Don't forget to review ;)**

"Come to dinner." A bleach blonde Eve said. Ivy stared at her. She couldn't get over the fact that Eve had blonde hair. Meanwhile, Eve was rather uncomfortable with all the staring going on.

"You look like my girlfriend." Ivy said. Eve raised an eyebrow and leant against the wall. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried not to show the fact she was starving with the hunger.

"Your girlfriend?" She asked.

"Yes. You know… the one who plays guitar… and sings… and is blonde… and dated those guys that I am also dating… and has three albums out… and is insanely attractive."

"You mean the singer who you have never met before."

"Yes. Yes I do." Ivy shrugged. "We're engaged to be wed."

"Oh, Mr British Goon that you are so fond of will be disappointed that you swing a different way." Eve chuckled. She watched as Ivy's face burnt red.

"I'm not gay. I just have a long list of exceptions." She grumbled. "Laura Marling, Natalie Portman, Florence Welch, Karen Gillan, You…"

"Oh you charmer." Eve said as she clasped her hands over her heart. "I'm very flattered and I love you too but I am starving. I'm going to dinner."

"You go, I'm not hungry." Ivy said with a wave of her hand. Eve _would _have stayed and argued but she figured that any longer without food would have caused her certain death so she followed the scent of food out of the room, leaving her ginger companion lying on her bed.

Once Eve had left, Ivy realised that she was actually rather hungry. It wasn't like she could stroll into the dining room though. The Joker and Harley thought she was with Crane and if they found her again then they would send her back to him. If she had to choose between being with Eve and eating she'd choose Eve. Oh, that was nice. She'd have to say that back to Eve later.

/

"You're…erm… You're blon_de_." The Joker pointed out when Eve sat down at the table. Eve nodded and looked at the food in front of her. Harley was an OK cook but she wasn't exactly great. Taking in the appearance of the food, Eve began to see why Ivy had wanted to stay in their room.

"Yep, apparently when Harley says haircut she means hair-dye-and-cut." She grumbled as she pushed around the unidentifiable food around her plate. She looked up at an annoyed Harley Quinn sitting opposite her and forced a smile. "But I like it." That answer seemed to satisfy Harley enough.

"You look like Harley Quinn's daughter. If you lose that accent of yours we can tell people you're our kid." The Joker said with a smirk. Eve sighed and placed her fork down on the table.

"That plan would fail miserably. Surely you haven't known Harley for over sixteen years and I **cannot **change the accent. Unlike you… Mr Australia. Yeah, that's right, I've seen Candy."

/

When Eve got back to Ivy's room she found her ginger friend sitting in the corner looking rather smug with herself.

"Tea?" She offered as she held out a mug towards Eve. Eve raised an eyebrow and lay on her friend's bed.

"No, but I'll have a coffee." She shrugged. Ivy sighed and shook her head.

"If I wanted you to have coffee I would have offered you coffee." She grumbled as she placed the mug carefully on the floor. "I have no respect for people who want coffee instead of tea. I respect them as much as I respect anyone over the age of seven who likes choosing to play as Princess Peach on Mario Kart." She looked Eve in the eyes and frowned. "And I have _no_ respect for them."

"Oh." Eve said. She watched her friend stick her hand under the bed and pull out a jar of jam. With a raise of her eyebrow, Eve took a look under the girl's bed and saw a stash of food. "Why, have you raided the kitchen?"

"I don't want to see the clowns. I want to live on my own." Ivy grumbled as she stuck her finger in the jar of jam.

"So you'd rather eat jam on its own than a proper home cooked meal?" Eve asked. Ivy thought about it for a few seconds before nodding.

"Of course." She said. "Do you want some?" Before Eve could answer, there was a noise from the bottom of the corridor outside the girl's room.

"Eve!" Harley's voice yelled. "Me and Mr J need to talk to you." Ivy sat up and stared at Eve.

"They don't know I'm here." She hissed as she got to her feet and ran towards the closets. "They'll send me back to Crane." Eve followed Ivy to the closets where she watched her friend climb up to the top shelf where she kept her shoes. "Tell them and death will come swiftly, Eve."

"Oh… OK." She said, rather confused by the whole thing. The closet door swung open to reveal The Joker and Harley Quinn. "Hello." Eve said as casually as possible.

"Eve, you haven't seen the kettle have you… or the tea bags… or the sugar… or the milk?" Harley asked. Eve frowned and crossed her arms.

"Why would I have seen all that stuff?" She hissed. "Why do you even need it? You're not English. You don't like tea."

"Why so racist, Eve?" The Joker asked as he leant forward slightly. Eve glared at the clown, half tempted to ask 'why so purple'. Instead, she decided to do the best impression of a spoilt brat.

"I want Ivy." She yelled before stomping her foot down. In fact, she stomped her foot down on the floor so hard that it shook the floor which shook the shelf where Ivy hid, causing her to fall. The two clowns and Eve stared at Ivy as she fell onto a pile of Eve's clothes which lay carelessly on the floor. Eve smirked. Ivy wouldn't complain about Eve's mess anymore now that it had cushioned her fall.

"Oh God, ow." Ivy groaned as she rubbed her head to sooth the pain.

"I am magic!" Eve declared as she spread her arms. "Anything I want will fall from the sky! I want Evan Peters." There was a silence leading to a highly disappointed Eve when nothing else fell to her feet.

"What are you doing here?" The Joker asked, as he grabbed Ivy's hair and pulled her to her feet. She let out a pained yell and mentally cursed herself for having long hair.

"I told you that I am magic." Eve sighed. "Don't you believe me?"

"I just wanted to visit my favourite clowns." Ivy said with a false smile. "I've missed you guys. I really have." The clowns just shot her a disbelieving look. "Harley's really beautiful and I love her hair and The Joker's really hot and no one dances to David Bowie like he does."

"What?" The Joker growled. Ivy shrugged and smiled.

"Golden years? You know? That party you had to go to. When you were a knight." Ivy said before beginning her best David Bowie impression.

"Wrong movie." Eve hissed. Ivy stopped and let her mouth form a 'o' shape.

"Come on, you're going back to Crane." The Joker said as he began dragging her out of the room. Ivy dug her heels into the floor.

"No! Please! I'll do anything! I'll polish your shoes! I like polishing shoes anyway. I'll be a good girl. I won't play my music so loud. I'll lend you a Beatles T-shirt. I'll let you touch my Wombat's autograph. Come on! I don't even offer Eve any of that."

"Please!" Eve begged. "If you don't let her stay then….then… then I'll tell everyone where you live!"

"Blackmail?" Harley asked. Eve nodded timidly before Harley broke out into a grin and wrapped her arms around the Irish girl.

"Oh, she's learning so well." The Joker smirked as he let go of Ivy's hair, before smoothing it down for her.

"Why do you have so many Beatles t-shirt's anyway?" Harley asked as she glanced around the closet.

"There's not that many." Ivy shrugged.

"You're wearing one now." The Joker pointed out.

"It's not a T-shirt…. It's a sweater." Ivy mumbled.

"Why do you have so many Beatles _products_ then?" Harley asked.

"Because she is rich." Eve claimed loudly. "She has _two_ living rooms and someone comes to her house at four in the morning to give her milk."

"I'm not rich." Ivy said, silently cursing herself when her accent got slightly more British with her statement. "I have a front room and a back room; I can't see how that is so odd. Also, it's called a milk man, he delivers milk to everyone."

"You know every king and queen that ruled your country." Eve said with a smirk. "That's what rich people know."

"That doesn't even make sense." Ivy hissed. "I have so much Beatles stuff because I'm from the Merseyside. If you don't like The Beatles then you get thrown in the Mersey."

"Ivy knows John Lennon." Eve said to Harley with a nod. "They go way back. He comes over every weekend."

"John Lennon's dead, Eve." The Joker said as Ivy rolled her eyes.

"Did I say John? I meant Paul McCartney. All this Beatles talk is making me annoyed."

"Annoyed?" The Joker asked with a tilt of his head.

"Her country is the reason my country suffered." Eve pointed out.

"My country saved you all in the World War II." Ivy said smugly.

"I think the _World War_ was more complicated than that, ginge." The Joker said as he poked her nose.

"Oh, I can't hear you over all the free health care I have." Ivy said with a wave of her hand, as she walked out of the room.

"I can't hear you over the sound of how we walked on the moon first." The Joker called.

"Conspiracy!" Eve yelled as she jumped from one foot to another.

"I can't hear you over the sound of… of… of… _Charlie Chaplin_! Yes, Charlie Chaplin."

"How can you not hear us over the sound of Charlie Chaplin when he was most famous for his roles in silent movies?" The Joker asked with a huge grin.

/

Ivy stood in the middle of the pet store with her school bag slung over her shoulder and Eve's school bag slung over the other. She noted how Eve's bag was much lighter than hers, probably due to the fact that on their way back from school Eve went out of her way to find a pond and throw her school books in it, while yelling something about educating ducks and how she hated school. The conversation that followed about how ducks _must_ like maths lead to Eve declaring that she needed to visit a pet store. So that's where they were.

Ivy didn't like it very much. She had lost Eve the moment they walked through the doors. The pet store was huge. Everything was so big in America. In all honesty, whenever Ivy and Eve went out, Ivy just wanted to go back to bed.

"Look at all this cool stuff I bought." Eve grinned, as she swooped down the aisle she was in with a shopping kart full of pet stuff.

"What is all this?" Ivy asked.

"Cat stuff… and a cat." Eve said, as Ivy noticed the pet cage where a light coloured cat lay. "I borrowed some money from The Joker and Harley without them knowing and without the intention of giving it back."

"I'm allergic." Ivy pointed out as she took a step back from the slightly insane looking cat.

"I know that's why I got you pills." Eve grinned, as she tossed a packet of anti-allergy tablets towards her. Ivy looked down at the tablets and back up at the cat. Eve sighed and leant on the cart. "Is allergic another word for scared in England?"

"No." Ivy hissed. "I just don't like cats. They're evil."

"He's not evil! His name is Tate because he looks like Tate Langdon because he looks like him."

"It's a cat." Ivy hissed as she glared at Tate the cat. "I hate cats so much."

"Why don't you get a pet then?" Eve asked with a smile.

"Because all they do is bite you and make you feel unloved."

"Fish do neither." Eve pointed out, causing Ivy's eyes to light up. "And I know how you've always wanted a fish."

"I do really want a fish." Ivy mumbled, as she watched Eve take a few hundred dollars out of her pocket before handing it over to her. "I love you, Eve." She grinned as she walked towards the gold fish.

/

The Joker and Harley came back to the hideout about an hour after Ivy and Eve returned. In that time, Ivy had been clawed by Tate the cat causing her to have three small cuts on her cheekbone while Eve had three much longer cuts across her chest. Eve said it was just because he was scared, Ivy said it was because he was evil. Ivy then issued a 'no cats or Harley' law to her room.

"Eve said you had a fish." The Joker's voice announced as he strolled into Ivy's room to find her staring at a fish tank with one singular fish swimming around in it. Harley followed, holding Tate the cat, with a rather annoyed looking Eve right behind her.

"I have a sign on my door…" Ivy grumbled.

"I told them." Eve said as she fell down onto Ivy's bed. "I told them no Harley's and no cats but they didn't listen."

"Oh, what a cute fish." Harley squealed, before placing the kitten on the floor. Ivy yelped and leapt onto a chair.

"Get that off of my floor." She yelled. "Get it out. Get it out."

"Are you scared of cats?" The Joker asked happily.

"No." Ivy hissed. "I'm scared of getting cat germs on my carpet."

"In other words, Ivy Mumford is absolutely terrified of cats." Eve chuckled as she picked the kitten up.

"What's the fish called?" Harley asked as she tapped on the glass.

"Benedict Cumberbatch. Ivy said as she swatted Harley's hands away from the tank.

"Named after one of Ivy's many boyfriends." Eve said. "He's a British actor."

"You've named a fish after someone you're in love with but have never met?" The Joker asked. Ivy nodded and watched Benedict Cumberbatch the fish swim around the tank. "Wow, there's a reason you're single, Ivy. You are going to die alone."

"Hey, that wasn't very nice." Eve yelled.

"She's the only single person left here now that you are romantically involved." The Joker pointed out. "She'll be single with this fish forever. Well, I say forever, the fish will die and then she'll be truly alone."

"Get out." Ivy screamed.

"Touched a nerve?" The Joker giggled as he and Harley were pushed out of the room. She slammed the door shut in his face and gave it a kick for good measure.

"I hate clowns." Ivy spat as she walked back over to her fish.

"I like cats." Eve said happily as she stroked her kitten.

"Cat's that are named after drug-taking, murdering, rapists?"

"Yes." Eve said as she stood up. "Your fish food is in my room along with Benedict's aquarium decorations."

"You call him Benedict Cumberbatch the fish or you don't call him anything." Ivy grinned as she followed Eve into her room.

/

"So how was school?" Harley asked happily. Ivy and Eve looked up from their food and towards the clowns sitting opposite them.

"I hate school." Ivy sighed as she pushed the food on her plate around with her fork.

"We have to learn how to play a musical instrument." Eve said with a smirk. "I chose the triangle and Ivy chose the violin."

"And then the teacher said Eve couldn't pick the triangle so Eve began preaching about her rights and racism or something." Ivy chuckled. "They let her have it in the end because she threatened to take them all to court."

"Then I pushed Ivy down the stairs." Eve grinned.

"Why?" The Joker asked, happy for a distraction away from the good he was being forced to eat.

"Oh, even I don't know." Ivy grumbled as she stood up.

"Where are you going, missy? You haven't even touched your dinner." Harley asked.

"I just remembered that I am very allergic to… whatever this is." Ivy lied. "I'm going to make myself toast."

"Oh yes, I am also allergic to this and last night I decided to be a vegan so… I'm sorry." Eve smiled as she followed Ivy out of the room and into the kitchen. Ivy grabbed as much food from the fridge as she could and stumbled over towards the toaster.

"Harley's cooking makes my stomach cry." Eve sighed. She looked over at Ivy who was eating jam out of the jar with a spoon.

"You know that's disgusting right? I think you need help" Eve remarked, trying to see if she could find any junk food in the cupboards. Sadly, there was none to be found so she just resorted to sitting on the counter as she watched Ivy stack up slices of toast onto a plate.

"At least you're home now! And we got company" Eve smiled, trying to cheer up Ivy, who seemed to be a little agitated, not that Eve could blame her. Ivy had returned, only to be thoroughly insulted by the Joker and Harley, not to mention they'd found out about her hatred for cats, which would be most likely used against her.

"Yup" Ivy replied, cleaning away everything before picking up the plate and looking at Eve, "We are in this together, you, me, Benedict Cumberbatch the fish, and a rapist, serial killing, junkie named cat"

**So sorry for the long update. Stuff came up, other stuff was being written. Don't expect a huge update around the end of this month because I'll be away but we've still got all summer. It's nice to be back**

**Skitz;)**


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